Being born in Canada, I should be referred to as a Canadianman but I guess I’m not far enough away from immigrant roots yet. Also, the closer you are to your immigrant roots, the better chance that you will be cheap. Not cheap like a cheap hooker but cheap like a person who will only pay for cheap hookers.
Cheapness hits me unexpectedly. It often happens after a bit of remorse from indulging in spending. It’s kind of like the opposite to battered woman syndrome. I get hit with a payment that is bigger than usual and I get scared and runaway to my sanctuary of cheapness.
There’s a reason why children of immigrant parents can be cheap. Most of the time we come from parents who lived their whole lives in starvation mode. They never experienced Postwar Prosperity or the trickle down effects from it. Their whole existence was in a recession/depression.
Being Canadian in this generation has slowly taught me to ease up on the death grip on my cash. Being cheap and not cheap is a love hate relationship for me. I’m good at controlling myself but sometimes I just don’t give a shit.
Last night I cheaped out and had my classic dish of rice, eggs and Spam. I felt good about myself like a cheap bastard. Wow, I saved like $10. Once there’s food in your stomach of any kind, you really don’t care that you didn’t go out for better food. It’s when you’re hungry that you make the bad decisions.
Since Saturday night was so uneventful, I decided to walk to this Japanese restaurant to get sushi. It wasn’t that cheap. Some would say it’s expensive. It really depends on who you talk to. This cheap Chinaman says it’s definitely more than average. I’m sure a yuppie would see it as normal.
At least $3 a piece. Also had gyozas(not pictured).
When I looked at my bill, one of the first things I thought was how I could of spent $10 on a meal and spent $20 on anything else instead of $25 on 5 pieces of sushi and 5 small gyozas(dumplings). It’s not a lot of food so next time I will have to pre-eat or post-eat if I want to feel full. This is how the mind of a cheap person operates.
As human beings we’re always trying to make ourselves feel better whether we are feeling bad or even if we are already feeling good. I rationalized the money spent on this meal by telling myself that if I had kids and a wife, this $25 would have only been an outing at McDonald’s. I don’t have kids so it’s all for me.
So now I’m back to cheap mode. Tonight I will be having rice, supermarket BBQ chicken, bits of Spam and broccoli. The BBQ chicken will last another 3 meals and I will use the bones to make Chinese gruel(congee). The cost of rice amounts to nickels and a can of Spam lasts me almost 10 servings.
I’m a bad person for over spending on food this afternoon so I must be punished. I went against the cheapness in my DNA. The regret is going to eat me up inside for a few days. I’ll get over it and go through the same vicious cycle.