Almost everyone loves pizza. Some people who are lactose intolerant will even sometimes sacrifice their well being because pizza is so irresistible. What is pizza? A lot of bread, some cheese, tomato sauce and toppings.
A recent outing to the local Pizza Hut destroyed my love for pizza. My cousin and I ordered a small pepperoni and mushroom pizza. When it came out I stared at it and started counting the pieces of pepperoni. It was like 1 piece per slice.
Our server was friendly so we decided to be asses. “Excuse me, we’re just wondering how many pieces of pepperoni should be on a small pizza?”
Sher goes to the kitchen, comes back and tells us that a small pizza(6 slices) comes with 10 pieces of pepperoni. That’s 1.6 pieces of pepperoni per slice so some slices will only have 1 and if a slice were to be really unlucky, it could have half a pepperoni while another one will have 2 but even 2 is not even that great either.
A slice of pizza is pretty much half a sandwich. If you were to take 2 slices of pizza and slap them together it would be an oily sandwich. In this case it would be a sandwich with 3.2 small pieces of pepperoni and a few small slices of mushrooms that almost look like they were there by accident. If you were to make a regular sandwich and it only had 3.2 small pieces of pepperoni, most would consider that to be a really crappy sandwich. If it had any less pepperoni it would just be cheese bread.
The economics behind making pizza is very similar to the economics behind making Chinese food. Here is some Chinese Food 101 for you all. Have you ever noticed that the meat in almost all Chinese dishes is sliced or diced? This is done to give the illusion that you are getting a sufficient amount of meat. If you took that sliced/diced/shredded meat and glued it back together, you would get a piece of meat that is the size of a finger or two. Try it next time. Take half a pork chop or half a chicken leg, slice it, dice it and it will look like a lot of meat for 1 person. That’s why a dish of rice and shredded pork with 2 pieces of vegetables is $6 but people don’t care because it’s cheap, tastes good and it’s filling. Cheap meals are based on the foundation of lots of starch and very little of every thing else.
I will always like pizza but it is glorified cheese bread and shouldn’t even be eaten like a meal. It’s not uncommon to eat 3 or 4 slices of a medium pizza but I think 1 slice is more appropriate. Eating multiple slices is like eating multiple muffins with melted cheese. Who eats 4 muffins in a sitting?
Perhaps I’m not a nice person for defaming pizza but I just call it like I see it. It’s the taste of the oily crust and melted cheese that forces you to look beyond the lack of substance a pizza really has. Pizza is an impostor.