Golden Cabbage, Potential Rapists, Giving Money Away

There’s a Farmers Market not too far from my place.  It’s frequented mainly by vegan types, semi-hippie types and lesbians.  How do I know this?  I don’t know for sure but if I had to be judgmental that’s what I would say.  That’s the kind of vibe Farmers Markets gives off.  Organic produce, gluten free food, Ocean Wise seafood, homemade soaps, hand carved goods, a Greenpeace kiosk and people who dress like they are poor.

Farmers Markets give you the impression that every thing should be inexpensive but everything is like triple the price of mainstream outlets.  This grilled cheese sandwich stand charges $7 for a sandwich.  Of course, I’m stupid so I line up to get one and then have to wait 15 minutes for them to make it.

I’ve been eating cabbage lately so I thought I would go to the Farmers Market to get a locally grown organic cabbage.  Produce grown more naturally has the potential to yield more nutrients than the mass produced kind that is grown 2000 miles away.  Organic doesn’t mean much though if the soil being used is not healthy. The term ‘organic’ is overrated because even dog shit can be organic.

So I go into this produce stand and pick out a cabbage and a bunch of carrots.  I don’t even bother looking at the price of the cabbage because I think a cabbage can only be so expensive.  I saw that the carrots were $3 a bunch and I was okay with that.  I’ve had these carrots before and indeed they are much better than supermarket carrots.  I go to pay and the guy weighs the cabbage and the total comes up to $10.50 for both items.  I was like, ‘Holy Shiite Muslim’ but whatever.  The cabbage will last me a week.  I remember the weight of the cabbage coming up to 3 lbs so the price had to of been $2.50 a pound.  The local supermarket charges 79 cents a pound.  This is why you will see no Chinese people at the Farmers Market even though they are 50% of the population in that area.


That will be 30% extra for the dirt please


Later in the day my stumpy 23 year old cousin came over to my place.  We were brainstorming what we should do.  It made me realize that when you try to think of things to do, you automatically try to think of things that will provide stimulation.  Eat, drink, play, see.  It also made me realize that it’s probably the incorrect way to live life.  In developed nations, every thing we do on our off time is like an anti-depressant.  We don’t really think it’s going to be that great.  We’re just looking for an escape from feeling less than satisfactory.  We look for an easy way out and it usually involves putting some kind of garbage in our mouths.

We both had eaten already.  Once you have eaten it makes thinking of something to do 10 times more difficult.  I came up with the idea to go for a walk at a national park on the other side 0f town.  This side of town is a very affluent area.  Recently, there were many reported sexual assaults.  Being males, it didn’t even cause us any concern but if you’re a female it would probably make you cautious of your surroundings.  My cousin and I didn’t really fit in since the general population is rich and white.  Every female who came across our vicinity had this suspicious look on their face.  None of them ever looked friendly towards us.  It wasn’t until half way through our hike that I thought that maybe all these females thought we were potential rapists. You have to think that they are on the look out for possible rapists if it is an issue in that area.  As far as Asians go, we’re the dishonest looking type too.



I was wearing a hoodie too.

It was an easy hike.  I really just wanted to get some fresh air and smell some trees.

This image is kind of depressing.  My cousin looks like he's about to walk into the forest and commit suicide.

This image is kind of depressing. My cousin looks like he’s about to walk into the forest and commit suicide.


When I do some sort of exercise, I feel better about going to eat a meal.  When you don’t do shit but lay around, you really don’t deserve to eat.  We decided to go eat Turkish food.  Well, I decided really.  It was pretty good.  When I went up to pay, I heard the guy say it was $48 and some change.  I gave him $55 and he was like, “whoa, thank you.”  I was wondering why he sounded so excited for a tip that wasn’t that great.

After we went to a pub, I got to thinking.

“Hey, how much was your meal?”

He tells me it was like $18.  My meal was about the same.  Wait a second.  Shit, the bill must have been $38 not $48.  I tipped him like 40%! Damn guy and his Turkish accent. No wonder he was happy.  I’m a dumb idiot.  I wonder how many times I get ripped off without even knowing it.  The term ‘dumb idiot’ makes about as much sense as ‘fat obese person.’


5 comments on “Golden Cabbage, Potential Rapists, Giving Money Away

  1. Expat Eye says:

    I want to be a waitress in your town. Hopefully you won’t be able to understand my Irish accent either 😉


    • MrJohnson says:

      It’s not a bad gig at all. It’s such a weird part of this culture. Bartenders and waitresses at busy night clubs just rake it in at an ungodly rate.

      It’s quite possible I wouldn’t be able to understand your accent..haha. I’ve hung out with Irish before and after saying “pardon” and “sorry, one more time” too many times, I just started smiling and nodding.


  2. lightpuma says:

    lol at the tipping!


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