Pretentious Breakfast, Flip Flops, Homeless Love

Today, just like most mornings, I woke up.  Unlike most mornings, I did not have to go to work so I laid there.  Some people get out of bed soon after waking up which would signify the beginning of starting the day.  I try to avoid this by laying in bed as long as possible.  It’s like procrastinating.  If I had something to do though, I would do it.  What gets me out of bed is usually hunger and also the high likelihood that if I want to go to a restaurant, I better get there before the lunch hour business.

After contemplating on a few places, I decided to go to this restaurant that is kind of popular and hip.  It was featured on that show, Diners, Drive-ins and Dives.  I drove by and there was a line up so screw that idea.  I think lining up to eat at a restaurant is kind of gay.  I’m not saying I haven’t done it but it shows you what life has become.  We have time to spare to travel and wait to get a seat at a restaurant that sells food that is not inexpensive.  So much of life is about finding food that is unique so that we can tell our friends we have been there and that they have to try it.  The restaurant’s signature dish is Pulled Pork Pancakes – 3 buttermilk pancakes layered with pulled pork, JD-spiked maple syrup $13.50

pppancakes

I ended up going up the street to another breakfast diner that was half empty.  It had that same vibe that is popular in Vancouver where they try to appear hip but at the same time not pretentious by serving unique menu choices without the nice looking cutlery, decor, plates, cups and everything else but with the typical menu prices.  Old chairs, wobbly tables and servers who dress like hipsters are supposed to make you feel special for eating there.

The breakfast was decent and the coffee was good.  I over tipped so that they would never think all Chinese people are cheap bastards.  When I got up to leave, she quickly went to my table to make sure I didn’t try to pull a fast one by shorting the bill.  If she was racist, my over tipping could have given her a change of heart to be less racist or it could have been taken that I was showing how much better I thought I was than her.  Maybe she will pass on the incredible story for generations about the Chinaman that over tipped and perhaps one day Tip Ping will be a city in China.

After much deliberation, I decided to not smoke a cigarette and instead go to the gym.  I don’t take my gym sessions that seriously anymore.  I go there for recreation and to achieve temporary physical and mental well being.  When girls there dress slutty, I get the sense that they are trying to pretend that they aren’t aware of what they are trying to do.  My other favourite thing to do at the gym is to watch guys sneak a peek at certain women.  It’s so predictable when and who they will sneak a peek at.  I guess it’s predictable because I’m doing the same thing.

Tuesdays are cheap movie days…sort of.  Edge of Tomorrow was the only film I had any interest in.  Regular price is $17.25 for the AVX 3D version but Tuesdays are $5 off.  I think I prefer 2D movies.  The 3D glasses darken the picture significantly and it strains my eyes especially if I don’t sit far enough from the screen.   However, the 3D effects are cooler if you sit closer.  Art imitating life?

You know how Google will complete the thought that you are typing in?  My guess is that a good number of thoughts have to do with movies and pop culture because I only have to type in the first word of a movie title and it will be the first option it gives me.  I was looking up this other movie called Maleficent and it was the first option shown to me once I typed in ‘male.’  Or maybe Google knows how simple my mind is and put me in the appropriate category.  Google decided that I was too stupid of a guy to be looking up any other word that began with ‘male’ or any of the million phrases that could have started with ‘male’ and instead gave me a movie title which was what I was looking for.  Every time Google does this or respells a word for you, it’s letting you know politely that it is way smarter than you.

I went to the movies wearing flip flops.  It made me realize that most women do feel safe walking around if they go out wearing flip flops, heels or sandals because you’re almost handicapped if someone chases you or attacks you.  Or maybe they don’t feel safe but looking good is way more important.

Driving home from the movies, there was this young guy with a sign asking for change.  It looked like he had a girlfriend too.  It made me think about how a homeless person has a girlfriend and I don’t.  I guess it’s about finding people who live or want to live the same life as you.  I bet if you are homeless long enough, the words  ‘stink’ and ‘gross’ don’t get used very often.

 

 

 

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10 comments on “Pretentious Breakfast, Flip Flops, Homeless Love

  1. Expat Eye says:

    That pancake thing looks really good but jesus – $13.50! It would have to be amazing! I sometimes see homeless people here with nicer shoes or more accessories than I have – and then they ask me for money 😉

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    • MrJohnson says:

      And that’s before tax and tip! Add a coffee or tea and you’re looking at almost $20. I wouldn’t say that’s average but average isn’t that much cheaper.

      Ya, I have seen the beggar types with some pretty nice shoes. It’s probably not good for their business..haha

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  2. Anonymous says:

    Flipflops and heels and some flats are debilitating. In case of a zombie attack, your fashion choice will cost you dearly. I’m really weary when wearing anything that I can’t run in. I’d rather be prepared for the worst case scenario. Seriously, running without proper shoes is really hard. You can seriously damage your feet.

    Like

  3. Just found your blog and I can relate to everything I’ve read so far. It’s nice to know that I’m not necessarily an asshole for not wanting to spend loads of time with other people. Or maybe I am but thank you for making me feel ok about being an asshole 🙂

    Like

  4. tinypore1 says:

    Love your blog! You need to try standup your insights are spot on and hysterical

    Like

    • MrJohnson says:

      I love anyone who loves my blog. Ya, I’ve thought about doing standup but the whole idea of it always freaks me out. I’m sure I have a solid 5 minutes though to do an open mic night. Thanks for the encouragement!

      Like

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