Being Sober

I’m at a new stage in my life.  I find that whenever I don’t have to be sober, I’m usually not.  The only time when I have to be sober is for work or if I have to be somewhere that requires me to be sober and since I hardly ever have to be anywhere it’s not much of an issue.  I’m not an alcoholic or a drug abuser but it’s really boring sometimes being completely not under the influence of some kind of substance.

In my 20’s there would never be alcohol in my home and I never did drugs alone.  There was a couple reasons for that.  One of them was that I didn’t really enjoy drinking alone.  But now that I’m always alone, alcohol has been a comforting friend.  I never did drugs alone because I felt that was for losers and I also thought drugs were not very good for you if you did it too often.

The only thing I still believe is that drugs are not very good for you if you do it too often but I guess ‘too often’ is very subjective.  Perhaps we just have a lot more willpower in our younger years to resist going down the path of substances for stimulation and comfort.

There’s another reason why I’m drinking more than before.  I have more money now.  In the past, I never really wanted to part with $10 or $20 for alcohol if I was just going to drink at home.  Maybe it’s not because I have more money now.  Maybe it’s because I’m not as frugal as I was.  I was a pretty cheap Chinaman to myself before, to a point that it was probably unhealthy.

Drinking is so easy when you’re at home.  You can drink while you watch TV, surf the internet, play with your kids, eat dinner,etc.  You don’t have to drink while you engage in those activities but why wouldn’t you drink?  When you first experience certain parts of life it’s new and exciting but after a while it gets kind of boring so you’d rather be under the influence of something while doing those things.  It’s part of growing up?

We’re always wanting to stimulate ourselves.  We don’t like moments of nothing.  When we get a few seconds of nothing we pull out our smartphones to check for possible unurgent notifications.  If we’re not occupied with anything we think about putting something in our mouths that might give us some stimulation.  We just can’t be doing nothing.  I guess the key is to find something positive to do.  Too bad being positive usually takes so much more patience and energy.

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15 comments on “Being Sober

  1. foreverendever says:

    I’ve been on summer vacation for about 3 weeks now and I believe I’ve been drinking almost everyday. Today is probably going to be the only day this week without any alcohol.

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  2. Ah yeah. I’m an alcoholic, so this sounds familiar to me. I don’t want to sound all Debby Doomsday or anything but be careful. Once you break the noon-rule with drinking alone the trajectory is not favorable.
    Great post, though. I could have written it myself five years ago.

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    • MrJohnson says:

      I’ve realized that if I had an addictive personality I would probably be an alcoholic or junkie. It’s the only thing keeping me at the moderate drinker category.

      Ya, sometimes I think about getting things started early in the day. It’s not a healthy choice to be even considering.

      Thanks for you input and honesty. I’m sorry but I laughed when I read “I’m an alcoholic.”

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  3. Those last three lines really sum it up.

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    • MrJohnson says:

      Yeah, it’s unfortunate human beings tend to gravitate to whatever is easy. I don’t have to drink but it’s just so easy to do when there is nothing going on.

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  4. claireodactyl says:

    I read this and I thought of myself when I was in my twenties… I looked in the mirror one day and realised I didn’t know and I didn’t recognise the person looking back at me anymore. Am I an alcoholic? I don’t think so, but I think there is a fine line and it’s a dangerous line. I no longer drink…ever. It’s not worth it.
    What I’m trying to say is be careful, it’s easy to have fun with alcohol, it’s easy for alcohol to be a safe and normal part of your life. But you don’t have to be an alcoholic for alcohol to be a negative part of your life. It destroys lives, and many alcoholics will tell you they aren’t alcoholics…

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    • MrJohnson says:

      Maybe when you looked in the mirror that day you were really drunk and that’s why you didn’t recognize yourself? haha..jk.

      It is a fine line and often denial comes into play. I had a friend who used to tell himself that he drank a lot of beer everyday because he liked the taste of it.

      I can definitely see the negative aspects of drinking even though I’m not an alcoholic (I swear, I’m not). Once you have that first drink, nothing else happens. Nothing positive anyway.

      Thanks for the reminder. I’ll likely be okay. I’ve been smoking cigarettes since I was 12 years old and I never became addicted.

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  5. I’m currently off the bottle. I have realized it’s actually pretty nice, for now.

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  6. Linda Roy says:

    That last paragraph is so true. I think about that frequently. There used to be a time when I could just sit and be alone with my thoughts. And now when I have a spare moment, I’m checking something, reading something, corresponding with someone. Goodbye to the lazy days of just lying in the grass on a summer’s day watching the clouds roll by.

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    • MrJohnson says:

      I guess clouds are no match for technology. Being with your own thoughts is not bad except when you have the option not to be. It feels so good when I forget my phone at home. I think we could all benefit from watching clouds roll by for a few minutes of the day.

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  7. voodoodarling says:

    Hard to relate to for someone very hardcore anti-cigarettes, drugs and alcohol, but nevertheless an interesting read. Being positive and finding constructive things to do is what I enjoy, even if that path might be the more difficult.

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    • MrJohnson says:

      If you can get by life not engaging with substances, it’s probably for the better. I think it would be ideal if one can experiment and enjoy substances but never let it become a habit or dependency but that hardly ever happens. Actually, that’s mostly the level I am at. Drinking wine regularly is a recent habit for me but still nothing even close to being severe. Luckily, I’m invincible.

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