I’m at a new stage in my life. I find that whenever I don’t have to be sober, I’m usually not. The only time when I have to be sober is for work or if I have to be somewhere that requires me to be sober and since I hardly ever have to be anywhere it’s not much of an issue. I’m not an alcoholic or a drug abuser but it’s really boring sometimes being completely not under the influence of some kind of substance.
In my 20’s there would never be alcohol in my home and I never did drugs alone. There was a couple reasons for that. One of them was that I didn’t really enjoy drinking alone. But now that I’m always alone, alcohol has been a comforting friend. I never did drugs alone because I felt that was for losers and I also thought drugs were not very good for you if you did it too often.
The only thing I still believe is that drugs are not very good for you if you do it too often but I guess ‘too often’ is very subjective. Perhaps we just have a lot more willpower in our younger years to resist going down the path of substances for stimulation and comfort.
There’s another reason why I’m drinking more than before. I have more money now. In the past, I never really wanted to part with $10 or $20 for alcohol if I was just going to drink at home. Maybe it’s not because I have more money now. Maybe it’s because I’m not as frugal as I was. I was a pretty cheap Chinaman to myself before, to a point that it was probably unhealthy.
Drinking is so easy when you’re at home. You can drink while you watch TV, surf the internet, play with your kids, eat dinner,etc. You don’t have to drink while you engage in those activities but why wouldn’t you drink? When you first experience certain parts of life it’s new and exciting but after a while it gets kind of boring so you’d rather be under the influence of something while doing those things. It’s part of growing up?
We’re always wanting to stimulate ourselves. We don’t like moments of nothing. When we get a few seconds of nothing we pull out our smartphones to check for possible unurgent notifications. If we’re not occupied with anything we think about putting something in our mouths that might give us some stimulation. We just can’t be doing nothing. I guess the key is to find something positive to do. Too bad being positive usually takes so much more patience and energy.