I’m Borderline Racist

I do residential deliveries in an area largely populated by Chinese people.  Many of these Chinese people do not speak a lot of English.  Sometimes I walk away from a delivery exchange with one of these Chinese people and I get annoyed.  They often only know one English phrase which is, “I don’t know English.”

If a white person displays their annoyance towards a situation like the one I mentioned, they would probably be looked upon as somewhat racist.  If not racist then not a very nice person.  So what does that make me?  I’m Chinese and I get annoyed.  The only main difference between these Chinese customers and myself is that they speak a different dialect of Chinese.  What makes me even more of an asshole is that some of my relatives don’t speak English or not very well.  That might be the only reason why I’m at all understanding about this no English deal.

My frustration arises probably because it interferes with the workflow of my job.  When someone doesn’t understand the English name of a person living in their house it slows things down.  Try telling someone who doesn’t understand English that they owe taxes and duties.

If you can say, “I don’t know English,” you probably could have learned, “what is your name” as well.  But obviously it wasn’t totally necessary because they can get by a whole lifetime in Canada without knowing any English.  There’s enough people here who speak the same language that they never absolutely have to learn.  If you need something done that requires English then you call that person in your family who speaks English to help you.  As annoying as it is for people who try to communicate with them in English, it must be much more debilitating for people like my grandmother to go 35 years here fearing situations where understanding English is required.

I’ve heard it many times from white people who angrily say, “if you are going to live in this country, you should have to speak English.”  It would probably be ideal but the fact is you don’t have to and when you don’t have to do something, often times you won’t do it.  Learning English for immigrants here is like losing weight for fat people.  People generally aren’t that successful at it cause it’s much easier not to.  This country would also be better if there were less unhealthy people but this is the country we live in..if you’re not directly hurting anyone then you can keep on doing it.

I think a lot of people who are thought to be racist aren’t really racist.  In my situation, one would call me a racist if I wasn’t Chinese but since I am, people would just call me an asshole.  But you have to admit, it’s kind of funny too.  It be a good scene for a movie especially if I walked away mumbling a racial slur.  It’s not that I hate Chinese people.  I just hate it when a Chinese person makes my life more difficult.  I would hate it if they were brown, white or olive.  I don’t really even hate it when they can’t speak English.  I hate it as much as hitting a bunch of red lights or when I have to slow down because of an obese jay walker.  But I was kind of disappointed at myself when I thought to myself, “why can’t they learn some English?” even when I know the reasons and they make sense to me.

In recent years there’s been a lot of negative feelings towards rich Mainland Chinese people coming over here in herds and raising the real estate prices.  I’ve had Chinese friends of mine say something similar to, “too many China people coming in,” which is funny and hypocritical at the same time cause when our families were coming here in the 70’s and 80’s, white people were probably saying the same thing and we hated them for it.  So I guess racism can be mistaken for disliking a group of people who you think are affecting your life negatively.

In North America we sometimes forget that this nation was built by immigrants.  Every generation here wants to be the last generation of immigrants because they feel the new ones are taking away from their way of life.



4 comments on “I’m Borderline Racist

  1. dcshelton says:

    Haha… Good observations. The real answer is not that we are racist as much as it is that we are by nature very self centered. Selfish. It is our fallen from God sin nature. But when we finally see the light, and hear God’s call to follow Jesus, repent and believe in Christ, then God fills us with power to really overcome and fight that old nature. His goal is for us to really love people and even at times speaking hard truths they don’t want to hear so we all can grow to be more patient with one another…not condoning their laziness to not do the right thing…but finding a way to maybe teach a “neighbor” (or two) how to speak English… You can’t change the world, but can change one or two lives for eternity if you are willing to die to self and live for God and others.


  2. Got it now. I didn’t know the meaning of “chink” when I read your previous post yesterday.

    I have a confession to make. I think I’m a racist as well. I don’t like being Asian. I wish I were (a white) American or European. I don’t blame them for thinking they’re superior to us. For one, they just look better.

    Well, I hope I am safe in revealing it here. 🙂


    • MrJohnson says:

      I don’t think it’s uncommon to want to be white or at least live the life that most white people generally have. Go back 40 to 60 years ago there would be no question that being white is the best way to be. I think they are better looking as well. I haven’t figured out if I think that because of media or if it’s just the plain truth.

      Almost any comment is safe here as long as it makes some sense..haha


      • I went on a very brief European tour last June. No doubt they live better than us Filipinos. But it’s not just that. They are indeed quite pleasing to my eyes.
        I guess my real point is, I have come to understand their feeling of superiority. Because, in significant ways, they are. Well, except for intelligence which is a different matter. Ever since I got into reading blogs, there’s been a validation that smartness isn’t dependent on race.

        I felt safer dispensing my thoughts here — especially taking into account your About statements, “I’m too honest for the comfort of others but that’s who I am in real life. I don’t like to play pretend, not even online.” I like bloggers with that attitude.


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