Hating People

There’s this theory in the world of psychology that says easily hating people is a self-defense mechanism.  You’re afraid to get hurt so you go on the offense before anyone else has a chance to.  When you hate, it’s a shield.  You don’t realize it when you’re doing it cause it feels so justified.  The human mind can rationalize almost anything that makes it feel better.

I’m quick to hate people or at least was.  I’m more aware of it now but it still takes some effort to stop myself and empathize with the other person. I hate blaming my upbringing on my current personality and situation but I can’t help but feel it was a huge factor in my life.  When you get thrown into different environments with different people every few years you train yourself to never let yourself believe that anything or anyone is forever.

Sometimes I let myself believe that what I have is forever but just as easily I stop believing.  I’m kind of fucked up.  Most people are receptive to love but I reject it.  It’s almost as if my instincts want me to be alone even though being alone is not that desirable.  When all you’ve ever seen is negativity it almost runs in your veins.  People always tell you to not be so negative but they don’t ever see past what is in front of them.  If you have 2 hands, 2 legs and an undeformed  face  they figure you can be just like them just as easily.

Sometimes I feel that my mind won’t except anything less than perfect because anything less than perfect has a chance of failure and I can’t risk being let down.  I feel that if there’s a small chance of being let down then it will probably happen.  You can call it pessimism but if you’ve lived a life of  overcast conditions then it’s just realism with a chance of meatballs.



2 comments on “Hating People

  1. Hello, I am allowed 45 min. of computer time per day and I am pleased to have found your blog. I can identify reasons why I wouldn’t want to be around a person (OK a lot of people) because I’ve tried and given up so many times before. All perfectly valid reasons in my mind—such as all that breathing, in, out, in out—it’s annoying. So now I don’t try. It’s kind of a relief. You would benefit so much from a dog! Sending you some less-than-perfect love from AZ—please just accept it because I can’t take any more rejection.

    Kay Ottic
    Sunny Acres Health Facility, Ward 8


    • MrJohnson says:

      People are annoying but it seems that most people are willing to tolerate them.

      I think sometimes hating people is a way to make yourself feel better. If you can convince yourself that someone is wrong then you can feel that you are better than them. I guess if you are a shitty person with no honour or loyalty then it’s easier to tolerate people cause your expectations are low.

      You must have done something bad to have your computer privileges taken away. I hope you will learn from your mistake.

      I think I would benefit from a dog. This lifeless teddy bear of mine does something for me so a dog can probably do wonders.

      I hear that Ward 8 is nice at this time of year.


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