Not Enjoying the Sunshine, Yard Sales and Tanning

It’s a sunny day here in Vancouver.  Apparently I’m suppose to get out and enjoy it.  I don’t see what’s so great about being hot, sweaty and uncomfortable though.  When it’s hot and sunny, everyone wants to go somewhere but all they ever do is look for a shaded area and a cold drink.

Fine, whatever, I’ll try this ‘seize the day’ shit for a bit.  I drove by a yard sale and thought of the idea to go yard sale shopping.  There’s loads of them being advertised on Craigslist so I went to a few.  The items displayed at yard sales are very similar to those at a thrift store.  It’s mostly old stuff that most people wouldn’t want.  The business model is, ‘you never know.’   It’s actually worse than a thrift store because there’s no quality control at all.  People will try to sell their 20 year old smelly boots.

One thing I found a bit interesting was an older guy buying VHS movies.  It was only interesting because I forgot that there might be some people who still watch VHS videos.  I guess I would still watch VHS movies if I had a VHS and couldn’t or didn’t want to download off the internet.

I bought a pot for $2.  There’s no reason to spend $10 on a brand new one.  When the apocalypse comes I can use it as a helmet after I boil my can of beans.

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Seizing the day gets kind of tiring especially when there’s nowhere very stimulating to go.  Getting back into the car after it has been sitting there for a few minutes in the sun gets annoying when you’re doing it every 10 minutes.  All that hot air gets trapped and the seats start to burn.  But it’s worth it right?

With the sun being out it gives me the chance to even out my tan.  My job requires me to be outside all day wearing a t-shirt which gives me this..

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And summer hasn’t even started!  I get the chance to even out my tan but it doesn’t mean that I will.  Sitting or laying out under the sun for the purpose of getting a tan is torturous.  It’s not just hot but it’s also boring as hell.

So ya, I hate how I’m supposed to feel like a loser for not getting out in the sunshine as much as possible.  There’s always a few people at work who will ask,

“Did you get to enjoy the nice weather over the weekend?”

Ya, I enjoyed it at home.  So what that you went to the park.

To be honest, sometimes I’d rather have it pouring rain so that I feel better about staying indoors.  It’s kind of like being really sick in that you have a great excuse to stay home and watch TV.

My twin brother from another universe would like to say few things..

Summer is here!  Everyone loves summer.  BBQ’s, camping, beach, drinks on the patio and a chance to work on that tan.  So excited!  So what do you have planned for this summer?  Who cares! Just get out there and enjoy the sunshine!

Hi, I’m back.  A lot of women like summer because it gives them an excuse to dress sluttier.  A lot of guys like summer because more women dress sluttier.

I’ll enjoy the good weather by opening a window and swallowing some vitamin D pills.

 

Daily Prompt: Summer

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Teachers on Strike….Again

Every time the contract for teachers nears its end, the talk of strike always comes up.  It’s always the same issue.  More money and smaller classroom sizes, meaning less students not less square footage.

To me it’s more of an issue of having the option to get more than it is deserving more.  Teachers in Canada make pretty good money for what they do.  The average is about $70,000 here in my province of British Columbia.  Of course this is not starting salary but it’s not the top rate either.  If you have a master’s degree and 10 years of service your salary is higher.  It’s not that the government is not offering more money, it is apparently not enough.  Teachers are asking for 15.9% over 4 years and the government is offering 7.25%.  I’d love to get that much of raise just for holding a sign for a few days.

What the teachers are doing is borderline extortion.  Our society needs teachers to babysit the children so that parents don’t have to pay for daycare.  It’s considered an essential service like Emergency Service Workers and Police Officers.  It’s really all it is, a daycare, cause we all know we don’t learn shit in school.  17 years out of high school and my aboriginal studies still have not done anything for me.

$70,000 a year plus benefits sounds pretty good already but on top of that they get about 3 months off a year.  Some of them say it’s not enough money but that’s because they took on a lifestyle they couldn’t easily afford.

If teachers wanted more money they should have went into another field.  Aren’t teachers suppose to be teachers because they care about the children?  All the teachers that I had were glorified daycare workers who helped perpetuate a system of close mindedness.  They didn’t care about anything except making their own lives as easy as possible.

The honest truth is that most public school teachers never set out to be teachers.  They went to university, didn’t know what they wanted to do and obtained an impractical degree where being a teacher was their best avenue to making an above average income.

If I was a parent, I would say screw this, go ahead and strike for 6 months.  I’ll give the kid the remote control to the TV, tell them not to go out,  study these multiplication arithmetic flash cards and read one page of the dictionary because everything else you learn in school is useless.  It’s just training to be a good slave when you ‘grow up.’

It’s rare that I side with the government but this whole situation is pathetic.  I realize teachers aren’t all to blame since it is their union that represents them as well.  It’s always the same story though.  People will always take advantage of any power they have.

 

Yin-Yang and Egg McMuffins

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Lately, I have been making my way to the local McDonald’s on weekend mornings to shamefully eat Egg McMuffins.  I love McMuffins but hardly ever ate them in my 20’s because I was never awake early enough.  When I first started this adventure a couple months ago, I would only get one McMuffin.  The last few times I’ve went, I’ve been getting two and I’ve felt like a loser each time.  I haven’t decided yet if it’s all psychological or if I’m in fact a true gluttonous loser.

They say life is all about balance so I had to Yang the Yin with some exercise.  I may or may not have bought something on Amazon and watched episodes on Netflix first but I did eventually get to the grassy field where I threw my medicine ball with authority.  After believing I satisfied the Yang, I went home, watched a movie and semi-guiltfully ate potato chips.  I felt like a loser again even though I washed it down with plenty of green tea.  I went back to the park to release my guilty conscience through my medicine ball again.

Now I’m writing this post which may be considered a positive thing but most people say my writing is negative so I don’t know.  I am drinking alcohol right now too so I should feel like a loser again in about 15 minutes once I’m buzzed.  I won’t be going to the park again today.  They say sleeping is good for you so I’ll do that to balance out the alcohol.

I was able to rationalize two McMuffins not being such a bad thing.  What sounds worse?  Two McMuffins or a typical eggs benedict with a side of hashbrowns/potatoes?  Most would probably say two McMuffins because an eggs benedict meal doesn’t sound all that bad.  Eggs benedict sounds kind of classy instead of unhealthy.

Let’s break it down.

mcmuffin    mcmuffin

2 Egg McMuffins

–  2 Poached Eggs
– 2 English Muffins
– 2 Slices of Ham
– 2 Slices of Cheese

eggsbenedict

Eggs Benedict with Hashbrowns/Potatoes

– 2 Poached Eggs
– 1 English Muffin
– 2 Slices of Ham
– Hollandaise Sauce
– Possibly Cheese
– Hashbrowns/Potatoes

The biggest difference is the extra english muffin instead of hashbrown/potatoes.  I don’t think fried potatoes are any healthier than 1 english muffin and hollandaise sauce can’t be that great for you  It is basically breakfast gravy.  So I think today has been quite harmonious.  Don’t you agree?

Being Alone

The area I deliver in is also the area where I grew up.  It’s not uncommon to bump into someone I know through a delivery or just on the road.  Yesterday I ran into a guy that I used to hang around with in the same group of friends.  He’s still hanging around the same people and he was curious who I see.  I told him I don’t really see anyone and don’t go out much.  He replied, “that sucks.”  The idea of being mostly alone usually does signal something sucky to most people.  To be honest it does kind of suck.  Anyone who says being alone all the time is so great, has managed to brainwash themselves so that they can feel better about their life.

There are some other things to consider though.  Most people don’t realize to see the obvious.  If someone would rather be alone than spend their time with you or with other people then it probably means they find being alone is less suckier.  What people see is some kind of mental abnormality with someone who would rather be alone.  It’s difficult for people to admit to themselves that someone would rather be alone than be with them.  To them, being alone compared to being in the presence of any acquaintance is like eating cardboard instead of cake…there must be something wrong with you not wanting cake even though you have a gluten intolerance.

They say spending too much time alone will make you crazy but I think spending too much time with people for the sake of not being alone will keep you unaware of your true desires.  There’s nothing more sad than being with a bunch of people who are just looking to not be alone instead of wanting to be around each other.  It’s like cutting yourself so that you can get 2 seconds of shitty stimulation but also a small scar forever.

I find that my energy for wanting to be around with most people is similar to spending money.  I would rather keep it for myself instead of spending it foolishly.

 

 

I’m Borderline Racist

I do residential deliveries in an area largely populated by Chinese people.  Many of these Chinese people do not speak a lot of English.  Sometimes I walk away from a delivery exchange with one of these Chinese people and I get annoyed.  They often only know one English phrase which is, “I don’t know English.”

If a white person displays their annoyance towards a situation like the one I mentioned, they would probably be looked upon as somewhat racist.  If not racist then not a very nice person.  So what does that make me?  I’m Chinese and I get annoyed.  The only main difference between these Chinese customers and myself is that they speak a different dialect of Chinese.  What makes me even more of an asshole is that some of my relatives don’t speak English or not very well.  That might be the only reason why I’m at all understanding about this no English deal.

My frustration arises probably because it interferes with the workflow of my job.  When someone doesn’t understand the English name of a person living in their house it slows things down.  Try telling someone who doesn’t understand English that they owe taxes and duties.

If you can say, “I don’t know English,” you probably could have learned, “what is your name” as well.  But obviously it wasn’t totally necessary because they can get by a whole lifetime in Canada without knowing any English.  There’s enough people here who speak the same language that they never absolutely have to learn.  If you need something done that requires English then you call that person in your family who speaks English to help you.  As annoying as it is for people who try to communicate with them in English, it must be much more debilitating for people like my grandmother to go 35 years here fearing situations where understanding English is required.

I’ve heard it many times from white people who angrily say, “if you are going to live in this country, you should have to speak English.”  It would probably be ideal but the fact is you don’t have to and when you don’t have to do something, often times you won’t do it.  Learning English for immigrants here is like losing weight for fat people.  People generally aren’t that successful at it cause it’s much easier not to.  This country would also be better if there were less unhealthy people but this is the country we live in..if you’re not directly hurting anyone then you can keep on doing it.

I think a lot of people who are thought to be racist aren’t really racist.  In my situation, one would call me a racist if I wasn’t Chinese but since I am, people would just call me an asshole.  But you have to admit, it’s kind of funny too.  It be a good scene for a movie especially if I walked away mumbling a racial slur.  It’s not that I hate Chinese people.  I just hate it when a Chinese person makes my life more difficult.  I would hate it if they were brown, white or olive.  I don’t really even hate it when they can’t speak English.  I hate it as much as hitting a bunch of red lights or when I have to slow down because of an obese jay walker.  But I was kind of disappointed at myself when I thought to myself, “why can’t they learn some English?” even when I know the reasons and they make sense to me.

In recent years there’s been a lot of negative feelings towards rich Mainland Chinese people coming over here in herds and raising the real estate prices.  I’ve had Chinese friends of mine say something similar to, “too many China people coming in,” which is funny and hypocritical at the same time cause when our families were coming here in the 70’s and 80’s, white people were probably saying the same thing and we hated them for it.  So I guess racism can be mistaken for disliking a group of people who you think are affecting your life negatively.

In North America we sometimes forget that this nation was built by immigrants.  Every generation here wants to be the last generation of immigrants because they feel the new ones are taking away from their way of life.

 

Garlic Butter Prawns, Medicine Balls and Spending Money

Last week I came across this idea to buy shrimp and cook it up.  At $10 a pound it’s not exactly inexpensive.  They weren’t frozen but I doubt they were fresh either otherwise it would have said so.  Previously frozen and thawed is my guess.  I justified spending the money cause it was the weekend and I wasn’t going to go out anywhere.  I fried them with the shells peeled in a cast iron skillet using butter and minced garlic.  Sounds good except I couldn’t taste the butter or garlic.

Today I decided to give it another try.  As I approached the seafood section I noticed something different.  There were 2 large tanks of British Columbia Spot Prawns.  They just came into season and were on sale for $14 a pound which was $8 off.  I didn’t want to pay that much but I did.  I justified it by telling myself that they were live and only in season for a short time.  I think it ended up costing about $1 a prawn!

Heads Ripped Off

Heads peeled off

I tried the whole garlic butter thing again but this time I added butter and garlic near the end.  I still failed. I ended up melting butter in a bowl in the microwave.  I’m concluding that it’s difficult to get the garlic butter taste just by frying with garlic and butter.  If you know the way to Zen garlic buttery mastery, please let me know.

Heads (head parts were still moving after I tore them off from the bodies)

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Prior to my prawn escapade, I was at a grassy field discovering the joys of exercising with a medicine ball.  There’s this place near me that sells exercise equipment that is owned by Chinese people.  I’ve been contemplating getting this leather medicine ball from there and since he “give good discount,” I decided to get it.  I needed something to do today anyway.

It cost more than I’d like to admit even with the “good discount” but it’s really nice.  It’s nice leather and it’s handmade here too.  I know this cause their factory is on my delivery route.  If you had a chance to look inside the factory, it looks just like a sweat shop.  A bunch of Chinese people who can’t speak English, making things with their hands.  I justified this purchase by telling myself it will last a long time, it’s nice and it will benefit my health and fitness.  They guy told me half the cost is for the leather and there’s 2 hours of work put into it so I figured $65 (no tax if paid by cash of course) was worth the product.

My New Leather Medicine Ball (6 – 8 lbs)

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Medicine ball exercises are better suited for 2 people but being the expert at being a loner, I came up with the idea of using a hill as my partner.  I stand near the grassy hill and throw the ball towards it.  Being the cooperative partner the hill is, the ball rolls back to me.  Who needs friends when you have the law of physics.  Physics doesn’t eliminate the possibility of dog shit on my ball though.

One of my other motives for getting a medicine ball was to encourage myself to be more active.  I figure I will feel better if I spend more of my day outdoors exerting energy.  To be honest, I do feel pretty good right now.  I think when you tire yourself out from full body exercise, it makes it more difficult to feel mentally shitty after.

Old Chinese Lady Cashing In Recyclables 

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I see this lady on my route regularly.  When people put out their stuff for Recycling Day she will go around picking out whatever the recycling depot will take for money.  I think all neighbourhoods have someone who does this.  She’s not homeless she’s just looking to make a few extra bucks.  I don’t think you will ever see a homeless Asian person in the western world.  We haven’t arrived to that stage of evolution yet.  We’ll get there though, just give us some time.

This lady would probably think I’m retarded for spending the money I did today.  Just because I’m able to justify spending money doesn’t mean I actually believe it’s a good idea.  Not much of what I do is ever a good idea.  I take some opportunity to not be so frugal now in case I don’t get the chance in the future.  That’s how I justify it anyway.

We All Need Friends

Friends..we all need them.  That’s what they say anyway.  My best friend these days is alcohol and sometimes I will hang out with acquaintances that most people call drugs.  When I hang out with my acquaintances, my best friend is usually there too.  I think he gets jealous but I guess more the merrier.

Drinking anything is like a friend who keeps you company.  You can watch TV all night and sip on your drink.  It may not say much but if you spend enough time with it then it might make your brain talk to you.  I can sort of see the appeal of buying a 6-pack, cigarettes and sitting at home with them all night.  I wish I enjoyed smoking cigarettes as much as some people.  Cigarettes are a real good friend.  They can be with you all day long unlike alcohol.  You can’t consume liquor while working, driving or in many other situations.

It’s kind of funny how people will never ask someone else if they have any friends.  They will always ask about your job and significant other situation but never about friends.  It’s almost assumed that everyone has someone they can call a friend. People will think you are a real sad case if you tell them that you don’t have any friends unless if you are new in town.  When’s the last time anyone asked you as a get to know you question, “do you have any friends?”  Or maybe it’s just way too personal of a question?

Alcohol, drugs and cigarettes are like the 3 Amigos.  They love being with each other.  I don’t abuse any of them cause I like them all to be in my life forever.  I don’t want to spend too much time with them either otherwise I will get sick of them.  I hope these friendships can last without complications.  Friends forever?

 

Daily Prompt: Companion