Growing Up is a Trap

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I went into my work vehicle today and the mechanic was fixing something inside.

Him: “How’s it going?

Me:  “I’d rather be home or anywhere else really.”

Him: “Ya but you wouldn’t get paid.”

Me: “Ya I know.  I’m more than willing to make that sacrifice.”

Him:  “Doesn’t sound like you have many bills to pay for.”

Me: “Nope.”

Anytime I have these kind of conversations I think about what the other person’s life must be like and I think about how come I don’t feel the same way.  Ya the answer is obvious.  He’s got kids and the all the rest.  I’m the only kid I have to take care of.  Then I started to wonder if I took on some more bills if it would make me feel better about working.  Maybe but the idea of it would be very similar to jumping off a cliff to see if the rush would be worth it.

That is the trap that they refer to when they say “growing up is a trap.”  Once you make that decision to pay for a mortgage, buy a new car or have kids you pretty much look in one direction which is where ever there is more money.  If the mechanic misses a day of work without pay he thinks about how many jugs of milk he could have bought and wishes he could be working instead.  If I miss a day of work I think about how many bottles of wine I could have bought but that thought fades away within seconds and I think about how glad I am to not be working and I go ahead and buy the wine anyway.  I’d even buy the mechanic a jug of milk just to show him how much I don’t give a shit.

I can sort of see how the trap is set up.  It’s laid out for everyone and most people walk into it without much resistance.  The trap is like the devil.  It will throw out temptations everywhere and wait for you to be impatient, insecure, excited, depressed, bored or something else that makes humans weak. The idea is that you get a job and then attain things along the way.  This is what makes this job worthwhile.  If you disrupt the flow and stop wanting to attain things then that’s when everything gets a little messed up.  The idea is that sooner or later they will get you and if they don’t they will try to make your life a miserable existence.

So I guess growing up is a trap but for many they’d rather be trapped than lost.  I don’t blame them.  Being lost in life brings out the same fear in people as being lost in the woods at night.

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4 comments on “Growing Up is a Trap

  1. kalyrical says:

    Not looking forward to the day when I have to take on all those responsibilities— taking care of kids, all the bills. I’m just gonna sit here and enjoy my last few years straddling adulthood and still being taken care of…

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  2. Some people make decisions that end up as traps because of something specific we want. I wanted a menagerie now I’m stuck with a mortgage and can’t walk away from it. Maybe women do it because they want kids, maybe men do it because they think they’re supposed to. But there are also a lot of people who really, really want a partnership/family and it’s expensive. Relationships don’t get kept alive by love or lust. And there are a bunch more people whose whole life is going to work, even if it’s a factory job. You could do worse.

    I kind of understand that guy’s comment ‘it doesn’t sound like you have many bills to pay for.’ It’s that ambivalence about our own traps—did we do the right thing, did we make a mistake, would life be better if we had done it differently. All I can think to say is at least we own our mistakes in the West, and I wouldn’t trade places with anyone oppressed by their husband or father or government or religion, no matter how devout they think their path is or how much they ‘belong.’ Hahaha I’m free to be depressed about all the choices I’ve freely made.

    Remember that supervisor who rode with you who said ‘Once you get married it’s done. All you’ll hear is “yap yap, blah blah.’ Well he’s right, and that goes for both sexes.

    In other words, yes the trap is the devil and we are weak.

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    • MrJohnson says:

      When you hear something is a trap it’s always looked at as a negative thing. I guess the term trap is another way of saying commitment. Sometimes to get what you want in life, commitment is the only way to achieve it. For some, a way of life ends up being a trap and for others the right choice. I guess if it doesn’t work out then it’s considered a trap.

      You’re right, relationships quite often don’t live off love or lust. If you want to keep someone you have to trap them.,,haha. It’s actually kind of true.

      I have no reason to believe the mechanic guy ever has second thoughts about his decisions. He might. But I think a lot of people with families, mortgages, etc are happy with their path in life even if there is a lot of misery involved. Even if all they have to show for it is a handful of hours a week with their family they are probably satisfied. I’m sure they are surrounded by a bunch of other people who do the same thing so it makes it easy to rationalize. Kingdom of Married People With Responsibilities.

      Sometimes there’s not much else to say but literally yah yah blah blah. Everyone agrees you need a vacation from work. There should be a mandatory vacation from your spouse every year.

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