As humans we are always searching and believing in forever. We go into things believing that what we have and want will be with us for the rest of our lives or at least for a very long time. Even if we don’t fully believe it will physically be with us forever, we believe we will carry it with us in our hearts.
When people start post secondary education and pick a specific program, they have this belief that there is a chance that whatever they get out of their studies will benefit them for long term. For some it is a strong belief and for others not so much. I doubt that anyone would walk into such a commitment if they thought it would benefit them for only a handful of years and take them nowhere else. After a while sometimes the potential benefits do not seem worth the work as originally thought.
I’m not sure many friendships would last as long as they do without the belief of the possibility of forever. How many people would sacrifice deeply for someone else if they knew they would be cut off from each other in a year or two? I think the idea is that you are going to be friends forever or at least maintain some kind of connection. If I knew what I knew now, I don’t know if I would have been as righteous as I was all those years.
When guys and girls get together they often treat the relationship like it is a potential marriage. They move in together, own a dog together, co-sign credit cards for each other, lend each other significant amounts of money, whisper all the sweet forever things and nothings. You might not do any of those things if you knew your relationship would be done in a couple of years and would never speak to each other again. But you do them cause your goal is to make it last forever even though you are only 21.
I guess we like forever cause it is a very secure feeling. We tend to like working for something that has the possibility of lasting effects. We don’t want to start over again at zero. People like progress and forever. Forever and ever. Til death do us part. The wedding vows will never be, “til fat, ugliness, boredom, annoyance, poverty or 10 years do us part.”
Honey, I promise to love you for at least 10 years.
Oh darling, you say the sweetest things.
I think the truth is that forever is usually a pipe dream. Forever in our lives is usually about 30-40 years. You hope that your career and all your relationships last about that long. Not just last but thrive. Forever is the goal but not if it is going to be forever miserable. During the course of many years, anything can happen whether it be earth shattering like a bad car accident, your wife going bat crap crazy or as simple as you getting sick of your job. I think a lot of life’s misery is due to the expectation of forever. When you have negative feelings towards something it is because you expected a certain outcome but it didn’t happen. Absolutely expecting forever is almost foolish.
We start on a journey thinking the way we feel now is how we are going to feel forever but we don’t factor in the torment, time, other life events that happen along the way. A few years into the plan of forever is sometimes enough to make you turn the other way.
It is easy to get on your high horse when things are going well and when the possibility of forever seems next to a sure thing. We ride high on emotions and become ignorant to the inevitable possibility of a horrible come down. When something is working for you it does not mean it worked. It has only worked so far.
As next to impossible forever might be, without believing in the possibility of forever, hardly anything feels worth engaging in. Why bother if you think it is going to be meaningless in the near future? Can you at least salvage a fond memory? To make it work for you there has to be at least the belief that forever is possible. “It” being anything you want in your life forever. Even if you have doubts you just have to believe, otherwise it will probably be over because to make it last forever you need every bit of strength to ride out the storms that never seem to end.