Tipping at Restaurants

tipping

From what I gather, tipping at restaurants is mostly a North American thing.  It seems kind of stupid sometimes but there are also arguments for it.  I think anyone outside of North America will say it’s stupid and so would a good number of North Americans.  It is a bit of a pain in the ass sometimes cause of the extra cost to the bill and also having to assess how much you should tip.

The general rule is 15% of the bill before tax.  But what if your server was sub-par or just sort of so-so or just sucked?  Maybe you don’t feel 15% is what they deserve.  Your choices are to give 15% and feel ripped off or give less and walk out possibly feeling like a dickhead.

I know people who have lived in Canada all their lives and don’t think 15% is expected anywhere they go.  They are cheap Chinamen though who were raised by cheap Chinamen.  They give a maximum of 10% like it’s their uncle’s Chinese restaurant.

Me: Most places besides inexpensive Asian restaurants expect 15%

Friend: No they don’t.  Where did you get this information?  The internet?

Me:  You can find this info on the internet but it’s kind of common knowledge unless if you are a cheap Chinaman

Tipping is part of the North American culture but it has something to do with economics as well.  It’s like a win win situation for the boss and the employee.  The boss can pay the servers minimum wage and the customers tips make up the rest of the server’s pay which is too high in my opinion.  Some of these servers make a killing off tips working a 4 hour shift.  It’s almost not fair.  They don’t even pay tax on their tips.

Friend: I’m just going to keep tipping 10%

Me: They’re going to think you’re a cheap fuck and you’re Chinese which will make you look like a double cheap fuck

Friend: I don’t think so

Me:  Cause you’re a cheap Chinaman.  I guess times are rough though cause you only make $70,000 a year and you live at home

The theory is that you can tip what ever you want cause it’s a tip and you don’t have to leave anything.  I guess so but it can be disrespectful.  If you walk into a place and you know they expect 15% and you give less for no good reason then you shouldn’t be eating there.  It’s like agreeing to buy something from someone off Craigslist for $10 but only giving them $9.50 and then running away.  It’s easier to scrooge the tip though cause you can weasel your way out without worrying about someone chasing you or even saying anything.

The stupid thing about tipping is that it’s based on the price of the bill.  Why should you have to tip more for a $60 bottle of wine than a $20?  The $60 bottle doesn’t require a special method to open or to pour it.

The only plus side for customers when it comes to tipping is that maybe the server will be nice and work harder.  If the server knew there was no tip at the end there’s a better chance of them slacking off and only being as nice as they have to without getting fired.

I wonder how the restaurant scene would be without tipping.  My guess is they would have to charge more on the menu and pay the servers more.  The other possibility is that they would charge more and not pay the servers more than they do now.  I guess that would mean impoverished immigrants would be taking more of those jobs and you would never see another good looking female serving you her cleavage again.

Conversation With a Coworker

Me: So you have a week off next week.  You going anywhere?

Him: Going to Cuba

Me: Nice!  Just you and the wife?

Him: The kids too

Me:  Really?  Can’t you leave them here or somewhere?

Him: My wife wants the kids to come

Me: Why?

Him: Are you married?

Me: No

Him: I didn’t think so cause if you were you would know why

Me: Okay.  So why?

Him: Bringing the kids ensures there will be no intimacy

Me: Oh

Him: Happy wife, happy life.  Unhappy wife, unhappy life

 

Glorified sperm donor ?

Happy wife or unhappy wife = kill myself

 

Washing Down Sugar with Sugar

Humans have certain cravings when it comes to taste.  These cravings are to ensure that you intake the required nutrients.  I haven’t read this anywhere but I’m sure it’s the case.

One of the cravings is sweetness and the only natural form of this in nature is fruit.  I guess honey is too but by far, fruit holds the Sweet Championship.  Fruits have many essential vitamins, minerals and often a decent amount of water.  An apple is comprised of about 80% water.  Cavemen didn’t have books on nutrition so they relied on their instincts to take care of them.

A main health concern is that we get too much sugar in our diet from unnatural sources like ice cream, sodas, desserts, etc.  We also get too much sugar from grain and wheat products like rice and bread.  We tend to include a significant amount of starchy carbohydrates in all of our meals.  Bread with your sandwiches, potatoes with your meat, rice with your stir fry.  Although they contain a significant amount of sugar, there is no sweetness to the taste so your craving for something sweet does not get satisfied.  To satisfy the sweet desire we often supplement our meals with dessert or a sugary drink.  Seems harmless but that’s a sugar overload.

When you take in too much sugar your body is put under stress and needs to do something with that excess sugar.  Once your muscles have been fully fueled, your body will start storing the remaining sugar into fat.  On top of that it is causing inflammation within your body and suppressing your immune system.  I would explain how inflammation works inside your body but I can’t which makes the rest of this article seem not very credible.  

For example, a McDonald’s meal consists of a burger, fries and a soft drink.  Each of them has about 50 grams of carbohydrates/sugar, combining for a total of about 150 grams.  That’s the equivalent of eating around 5 large bananas for a meal in terms of sugar intake.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone eat 5 bananas at one time or want to anyway.  The thought of it kind of grosses me out.  Although there is this 30 bananas a day diet that had some popularity.  I think there’s this natural instinct that stops us from ingesting too much of something but it only works well if the food that you are ingesting is natural.

I believe the biggest reason for weight gain and failure of weight loss is the abundance of sugar that is taken in at one time.  Even if you took in the same amount of sugar but were able to spread out the consumption throughout the day, I think it would have some positive impact on your weight.  It’s kind of like alcohol.  If you drink 5 shots of tequila within 15 minutes it would probably hit you pretty hard compared to taking those 5 shots in the span of 2 hours or longer.

I’m going to submit this article to the leading health and nutrition academies in hopes that they will publish my article in their next scientific journals.

No Excuses

“Once you understand the way broadly, you can see it in all things”

– Miyamoto Musashi

I’m not the most positive person.  I’m kind of like a shitty Christian when it comes to thinking positive.  I believe in it but not enough that I will actually live my life accordingly.  You increase your chances by taking the positive route but often it’s just so much easier not to.  For the majority of human existence, we have been programmed to take the side of comfort because comfort means safety.  In today’s world comfort is almost becoming a bad word.  Apparently the comfort zone is for wussies who have no ambition.

Every positive mantra is likely to be mostly true.  As accurate as they may be, it means very little until you embrace it.  I used to eat a really shitty diet on top of an unhealthy lifestyle that consisted of binge drinking alcohol and an erratic sleeping schedule.  I just thought that was the way I should have been living life no matter how shitty I felt.

That lifestyle toned down when I got to my late 20’s and someone kind of turned me on to healthier eating.  I was bored and curious so I thought why not.  I tried it out for a month and noticed some improvement in all departments but quit shortly after.  A few more months passed and I just decided to go full out.  NO EXCUSES.

I rejected every invite that involved eating crappy and staying out late which meant I rejected every invite.  I didn’t care if it was a free meal or free ticket to a late night show, the answer was no.  I wanted a change in my life just because I wanted change.  I stopped drinking alcohol, kept a regular sleeping schedule and even started studying Buddhism. During this time I barely spent any money cause I stopped going out and adopted the Buddhist principle of living simple.

Eating healthy made me lose some weight so I started hitting the gym.  I didn’t gain any weight from working out cause of my lack of calorie intake but it changed the way my body looked.  I stuck with this healthy lifestyle regimen for quite a while without going off track for the most part.

All I consumed 90% of the time was baked meat, steamed vegetables, fruit, water and green tea.  My idea of cheating at that time was 72% dark chocolate but not even a whole bar just a third of it.  I cooked all my meals and brought lunch to work every day.  Some people criticized me but it didn’t bother me cause I was feeling too good.  It’s a good example of how people will often encourage you to do what they do even if they are fat bloated fucks trying to give you health advice.  I’m starting to think I should absolutely not do what most people believe is right.   To them I was “crazy.”  I guess trying to be healthy puts you in the same league as serial killers.

I’m slowly becoming a piece of shit again but not completely and probably never completely cause the thought of it is just too disgusting.  I don’t want unexpected stomach aches and a lack of sleep if I can help it.  I still haven’t had a soda and it’s been like 3 years.  I have pizza a couple times a year and I miss KFC or any FC for that matter.

Although the super healthy days have slowly deteriorated to semi-healthy days, I will always remember how I was able to achieve success.  There will always be an excuse available.  Even if there isn’t you will make one up.  Once you start giving into excuses it’s the beginning of the end. But maybe you just don’t want it that badly or you need more inspiration.  I’m hoping for something to motivate me again where it will inspire me enough to not make excuses.  I find that with fitness and diet goals the only thing that can really stop you is yourself cause no one else is involved.  When it comes to goals that involve people like a girlfriend, friends or anything where it involves people having to like you and you liking them, it’s a different story.  I find it much easier to be negative cause I’m not in total control.    Maybe it’s a good reason to be negative but it’s not going to help with my roneriness cause in order to not be ronery you have to interact with people.

So if you really want something…NO EXCUSES!

 

No Guy Really Wants a Girlfriend

love_you_kitty

When guys say they want a girlfriend it is very similar to when most people say they want a job.  No one wants a job.  They just want money.  In this world though most of us earn money by getting a job.  It is the same with wanting a girlfriend.  No guy really wants a girlfriend.  They just want a girl in their life but in order for most guys to have a girl in their life they need to commit to having a girlfriend.

What does it mean to have a girlfriend?  In most cases it is basically the same as marriage.  You have to speak to or see this person everyday.  She is pretty much your #1 priority during available hours and possibly even unavailable hours.  There are probably other rules you have to follow outside of not being allowed to beat her.  It’s pretty much like a job and no one really wants a job.  No one likes commitment because no one likes to do something when they don’t want to but they will if they have to.

If you are a guy, chances are you are not that good looking and not that rich so your only method of having a female in your life is to get a ‘girlfriend.’  Since there are no shortages of your type you have to show your commitment to have any chance with her.  Unless of course you don’t mind having someone who is much uglier and poorer than you are.

Tiger Woods thought he wanted a wife until he realized how much vagina was available to him.  Once he started ‘cheating’ he wished he had never gotten married.  That’s why really rich guys don’t get real girlfriends.  They can bypass all that commitment crap and still have the girl.  Committed relationships are like regular jobs to them.  Any guy with a boat load of money thinks regular jobs are for losers.

Yes there are really rich guys out there who try to be in a monogamous relationship but that’s because they are stupid.  Rich guys tend to believe they can achieve anything but their monogamous relationships hardly ever last.

There are guys out there who would say, “I love my girlfriend and wouldn’t trade our relationship for anything.” It is true that there are guys who are satisfied with their committed relationship.   That’s because they don’t have better options available to them.  It’s like an immigrant from a third world country with no skills or education saying they love their job at McDonald’s.

“But he truly does love me and wants to be with me.”  Of course he has to make you believe that.  Do you go to work and tell your boss how much you think your job sucks?  Of course not, otherwise you’ll lose your job.  Maybe you liked your job at first but now it’s getting kind of old and stinky but you still need money and have nowhere else to go.

Sometimes guys will be devastated when their girlfriend dumps them.  That’s because they don’t have any females saved up in the bank. It’s like losing your job.  You only give a shit when you can’t get another job very easily or don’t have much money saved.  Now you have to go out, search, apply, interview for a new girlfriend and pass your probationary period like an average schmuck.

That’s why some guys just get hookers cause finding and maintaining a girlfriend is too much for them.  It’s kind of like how some people would rather be on welfare than work a regular job.  They would rather have more money but working is too much for them to handle.  Being on welfare is like the equivalent of dating an inflatable woman.  It’s easy and even less work than getting a hooker.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Doing it For Forever

As humans we are always searching and believing in forever.  We go into things believing that what we have and want will be with us for the rest of our lives or at least for a very long time.  Even if we don’t fully believe it will physically be with us forever, we believe we will carry it with us in our hearts.

When people start post secondary education and pick a specific program, they have this belief that there is a chance that whatever they get out of their studies will benefit them for long term.  For some it is a strong belief and for others not so much.  I doubt that anyone would walk into such a commitment if they thought it would benefit them for only a handful of years and take them nowhere else.  After a while sometimes the potential benefits do not seem worth the work as originally thought.

I’m not sure many friendships would last as long as they do without the belief of the possibility of forever.  How many people would sacrifice deeply for someone else if they knew they would be cut off from each other in a year or two?  I think the idea is that you are going to be friends forever or at least maintain some kind of connection.  If I knew what I knew now, I don’t know if I would have been as righteous as I was all those years.

When guys and girls get together they often treat the relationship like it is a potential marriage.  They move in together, own a dog together, co-sign credit cards for each other, lend each other significant amounts of money,  whisper all the sweet forever things and nothings.  You might not do any of those things if you knew your relationship would be done in a couple of years and would never speak to each other again.  But you do them cause your goal is to make it last forever even though you are only 21.

I guess we like forever cause it is a very secure feeling.  We tend to like working for something that has the possibility of lasting effects.  We don’t want to start over again at zero.  People like progress and forever.  Forever and ever.  Til death do us part.  The wedding vows will never be,  “til fat, ugliness, boredom, annoyance, poverty or 10 years do us part.”

Honey, I promise to love you for at least 10 years.

Oh darling, you say the sweetest things.

I think the truth is that forever is usually a pipe dream.  Forever in our lives is usually about 30-40 years.  You hope that your career and all your relationships last about that long.  Not just last but thrive.  Forever is the goal but not if it is going to be forever miserable.  During the course of many years, anything can happen whether it be earth shattering like a bad car accident, your wife going bat crap crazy or as simple as you getting sick of your job.  I think a lot of life’s misery is due to the expectation of forever.   When you have negative feelings towards something it is because you expected a certain outcome but it didn’t happen.  Absolutely expecting forever is almost foolish.

We start on a journey thinking the way we feel now is how we are going to feel forever but we don’t factor in the torment, time, other life events that happen along the way.  A few years into the plan of forever is sometimes enough to make you turn the other way.

It is easy to get on your high horse when things are going well and when the possibility of forever seems next to a sure thing.  We ride high on emotions and become ignorant to the inevitable possibility of a horrible come down.   When something is working for you it does not mean it worked.  It has only worked so far.

As next to impossible forever might be, without believing in the possibility of forever, hardly anything feels worth engaging in.  Why bother if you think it is going to be meaningless in the near future?  Can you at least salvage a fond memory?  To make it work for you there has to be at least the belief that forever is possible.  “It” being anything you want in your life forever.  Even if you have doubts you just have to believe, otherwise it will probably be over because to make it last forever you need every bit of strength to ride out the storms that never seem to end.

Motivation and Calories

Motivation is the key factor to be able to get anything done.  The more time and effort a task needs the more motivation you need.  In order to be motivated to do something you have to believe that it is important to you in some way.  The more important it is to you then the more motivated you will be.

Staying alive will always be the biggest motivator.  Outside of staying alive and reproducing there’s very few areas of life that will motivate people.  People are generally very good at eating, being selfish, slaving over the opposite sex, making at least some money and tasks that use up very little energy.  Most people aren’t good at much outside of this cause it’s not usually very important.

Motivation is also much stronger when the action that needs to be taken is in the future.  For example, yesterday I was at the gym and was thinking how it would be much better if I did something active after work rather than coming home and staring at a screen.  I believed that I was going to take action.  When it came time to take action today after work, the motivation was replaced by excuses and alcohol.  I told myself it was Monday and it was cold.  Eating, drinking and doing nothing uses less calories than running around and lifting weights.  My mind said, “why waste calories when you could be putting more in?”

So here I am, saving calories cause it’s in the best interest for my survival.  Your mind is always working a formula, calculating whether your ideas are worth the calories.  Your instincts treat calories like how an immigrant treats money.  It will always ask, “are you sure we absolutely need this?  Can you not find some other way?  Can’t we just use old dental floss for shoelaces?”  No matter how fat you are your body wants you to be a cheap fucking chinaman with your calories.  It takes a pound to make 400 pounds.  Pounds are very hard to make these days, you can’t just go around giving it away.  Back in my day we had very little pounds.

Whenever you ask for someone’s help, you are really asking them for their calories.  Calories are the currency for favours.  I’ll give you 500 calories today but I expect you to pay me back when I need extra calories.  Why should I use my calories to help you?   In hunter gatherer days a caveman would not move a heavy boulder for no reason.  But if he needed that boulder to plug the hole of a cave cause there was a big hairy spider in there then he would expend the energy to do so.

When I came home today my brain had a discussion with itself.  One side argued that exercising wasn’t going to do anything for survival or happiness.  The other side said exercise might be better for us but lost because they could not prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the calories that would be used would justify the crime.

In the animal kingdom the question of calories always comes up.  Predatory cats like lions and cheetahs that are starving will not take the chance to use their last calories if the catch does not seem very likely to happen.  Many times they are on the brink of starving to death and try to wait for an easy kill.

Starving African people probably sit around all day cause they’re scared to waste calories.  That’s why when you see those images of them with flies all over their face they don’t even attempt to swat them away.  If it took one calorie to swat away one fly, that would translate into 200 calories for every 200 flies.  That’s like a small bowl of rice.  They could possibly die from swatting too many flies.  They also have this blank expression on their face when you see them on TV.  We often see it as them being depressed but I think it might be them trying to save calories by not using their facial muscles.

A lot of businesses in this world are just calorie dealers supplying calorie addicts.  You will see them at supermarkets with their booths of free samples.  “C’mon, try one.  The first one is free.  You like it?  You can get a box for $4.99.  You want 2 boxes?  How about 1 for your family?”  You get flyers in the mail telling you about the big sales on calories.  Buy 300 calories and get another 300 for 50% off.

In the western world, calories are more important than money.  So many people are broke but so many people have a healthy reserve of calories.  Your body doesn’t really know what money can do for you but it knows calories will get you by another day. Your body is always preparing for some kind of apocalypse type world where food will be hard to come by.  In theory the one with the most calories will likely have the best chances of surviving.    Fat guys will be like the alpha males in that world.  “Oh my god, he’s so fat.  What girl wouldn’t want a guy that fat?  If I had a guy that fat I would never let him go.  You’re so lucky to have a guy that fat with so many calories.  He’ll never run out.  He can run around for 2 days and it wouldn’t even put a dent his stomach.  Janet found the fattest guy of her dreams.  He has so many calories he can’t even see his genitals without looking in the mirror.  You hear about Rachel?  Poor girl, her man has a body fat percentage of 10% and six pack abs.  Jennifer is such a calorie digger.  She won’t date anyone who can wear pants that don’t need elastics.”

Working Full Time vs Bowling

In high school we were often bored cause we had nowhere to go.  Most of the time we would just end up loitering somewhere and smoking cigarettes.  Once in a while we would stumble upon a new activity that would lift our spirits.  When we discovered bowling it felt like it was something we could do all the time.  It didn’t last.  The novelty wore off pretty quickly.

You have to think that bowling is way more fun and less miserable than 99% of jobs out there that you have to do 40 hours a week. How is it that bowling became so uninspiring within a matter of weeks that we stopped playing but something as uninspiring as a soul crushing job can last 30 years?  I guess the answer is somewhat simple.  You get paid to go to work and you need money to live. So basically humans can endure life long misery as long as they feel they have to.

I just find it kind of fascinating because as much more enjoyable bowling is than most jobs, I would imagine bowling becoming quite torturous if you had to play 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.  No breaks between rolls, just continuously chucking balls down the lane whenever the pins were ready to go.  Imagine what working does to one’s mind after a few decades.

There isn’t anything in this world besides a regular job that entails you to be somewhere for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, doing pretty much the same thing every day.  Seriously, there’s nothing.  Even if it was somewhat enjoyable, people wouldn’t do it given the same schedule.

The whole thing just seems kind of irrational.  To really be able to embrace working full time for 30 years, you have to either believe you have to or believe that it is providing you with a life that you really want.  No one bowls full time cause they don’t think it’s going to get them anything important.  Even if it was free they still wouldn’t.  Plus no one thinks they have to and it’s not embarrassing to be a person who does not bowl full time.

It’s kind of weird that as long as a person can justify their misery, they will be seemingly at peace.  Can you imagine if you worked for 30 years and one day you stumbled upon some information that you only really had to work 10 years and you would have been just as happy.  You’d be pissed off.  Like super pissed off.

I doubt that many people have to continuously work full time for 30 years.  Old people who die and leave an estate worth half a million dollars could have worked at least 10 less years maybe even 20.  If you die with a house fully paid off it’s probably worth close to half a million dollars.  I think we should all have a set age at when we want to die and work long enough to get to that age instead of preparing for a life that might last for 80 years.  You should be able to buy insurance from some company that will promise to kill you if you make it past that set age.

I think a lot of what keeps people going at their jobs is the fear of being lonely.  Any kind of demotion in job status and pay, translates into a whole different life.  The people that you surround yourself with are often founded, maintained and directly related to the kind of money you make.

I’m laughing right now because I’m picturing myself going to the bowling alley like it’s a full time job.  I don’t know, it’s just a comical image.