Life, Sausage & Egg McMuffins, Thoughts

You know how when you see someone pretty regularly you don’t notice their subtle physical changes very easily?  It’s not like when you haven’t seen someone for a while and you notice right away how old and fat they’ve become and it blows you away.  Usually when someone tells you that you look different, it’s rarely a complement.

I rarely go to McDonald’s anymore but everytime that I go, I notice how everything has become smaller than it used to be.  This morning for whatever reason I decided to get some Mcdonald’s breakfast.  I did Drive Thru and ordered a Sausage & Egg McMuffin with a decaf coffee.  I had a coupon for a 2 for 1 but didn’t want to use it otherwise I would have gladly eaten 2 McMuffins which I rather not do.  I pick up my McMuffin at the window and the girl tells me to pull over and they’ll bring my decaf to me.  No one drinks decaf besides wusses like me so anytime someone orders decaf they have to make it fresh.

So I’m sitting there in my car waiting for my coffee and the guy comes out and says, “here’s your decaf and your Sausage & Egg.”  Whatever, I guess I’m having 2 McMuffins.  I open the first McMuffin and right away I notice how thin the sausage is.  It wasn’t like this before.



Doesn’t the McMuffin look majestic with the warmth of the early sunshine hitting it?  The sausage actually looks decent in the photo but in reality it looked like a piece of bacon.  I’m exaggerating but it was thin.  I should be a photographer.  I can make things look better looking than they actually are.  That’s why women love photographers.

I’ve noticed through the years all the other sandwiches have shrunk as well.  Your only safe bet might be the Quarter Pounder since it will always have to weigh a quarter of a pound.  This is how they keep prices down, by shrinking the product.  They can’t keep raising prices otherwise a meal at McDonald’s is going to be to close to the price of a decent burger joint.  That’s just one way of cutting costs.  They probably have about 10 other methods that you probably wouldn’t want to know about.

While eating my McMuffin and sipping on my coffee with the low angled sunshine hitting my face, I felt a bit of peacefulness.  It made me wonder how much of life is to do with your mindset.  Life is not exciting for me right now but there’s no faggot kids in the backseat for me to tell to shut up.  I don’t need to be at someone’s house for some gathering with people I don’t really want to see.  What can be so bad about enjoying something when the sun is shining?  I don’t have to worry about getting butt raped or blown up by a grenade.  Well, I know why it can still suck but that’s for another post.

A lot of people who feel down on themselves is because they think everyone else thinks they are losers.  Poor people might be a lot happier if being poor was looked upon as being better than not poor.  Say if all the rich and famous decided to throw away all their money and work at McDonald’s, it might become the in thing to do.  “Whoa, you work at McDonald’s?  Luuccky.”  If one day there was some cultural shift that made relationships and kids something to be frowned upon then being single would no longer be considered a sad position to take.  I don’t see that happening though because you don’t have to do anything to be single.  People tend to admire acts that require skill, perseverance or at least luck.  I guess some would say staying single and being content with it all your life is like an art form.  If you can get by life being single, never working much and content, you’re a winner in my books.  Oh wait, that’s the exact definition of a loser.

I think there’s something about not being wanted that is the root of all motivation and sadness.  You feel bad when you’re single cause you feel no one wants you.  You feel bad when you’re poor cause no one wants to be around you.  You feel bad that you have horrible B.O. cause no one wants to be around you.  You feel shitty for not feeling competent.  Rejection equals loneliness whether it’s in the physical sense or spiritual.  You want people to want you cause instinctually it’s the only way to survive and reproduce.  But we’re not hunter gatherers no more and if we can get past our caveperson brain then peace and acceptance may be possible in any situation.  Maybe?

It would still be cool though if in the future someone would say something like, “George is 52 and he works at McDonald’s!  Oh my god, I wish I could be him.”


13 comments on “Life, Sausage & Egg McMuffins, Thoughts

  1. McMuffins are all the cause? Not their consuming them?


  2. I like your post. I’d comment but I am tired and I have to go to sleep, we’ll see if I can’t say anything useful tomorrow .. hahaha


  3. tedgaming says:

    I think a lot of shitty parents do envy childless losers. When I was doing my prison talks about not minding prison, and almost wanting to go in, a surprising number of people agreed. I think it’s a “grass is greener on the other side” phenomenon. Or maybe I just know a lot of people who are secretly gay. Either or.


    • MrJohnson says:

      There are definitely some miserable parents out there who wish they were childless. I don’t know if being a parent is really frowned upon by many though. Going to prison can sometimes seem like a good idea like killing yourself but hardly anyone ever deliberately goes through with it so they must not want to do it that badly.


  4. I think outlook is all in one’s perspective. Being single doesn’t mean you’re a loser. Neither does being poor. I’m single and not rich, yet I don’t feel like a loser. Of course, I sometimes feel lonely but worse, when I was in a relationship, I felt lonely. Which felt all the more awful. I think people can choose to be happy. Or choose to be pissy. Or choose to be stinky. I mean c’mon – you can buy soap at the Dollar Tree!


    • MrJohnson says:

      The outlook part takes some training. It also needs a good anti-virus software to block out all the malicious thoughts. There’s just so many hackers out there. Luckily I never have to worry about being stinky. I can go at least 7 days without showering and still not smell. Not that I…ah..umm.. would know this cause..umm..ah.. I’ve never gone that long without showering..ya, that’s it.


  5. lightpuma says:

    Damn Burger King also reduced the size of their Whoppers. In fact, they made them so small that they call them Whopper Juniors.

    If we are not wanted, an integral part of our being will never find satisfaction or true happiness. It’s almost like a curse that can’t be broken until we’ve experienced such a strong feeling at least once in our lives.


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