Philosophies for Life

Do you know anyone who works 6 days a week, 12 hours a day?  I do.  She is my mother.  Well, that’s what they call her by law.  In reality she’s just the person who shot me out of her vagina and told me I should be thankful my life is better than those kids who live in orphanages or group homes.

Everyone has some kind of philosophy or belief to life.  Many times it stems from your environment growing up.  My mother’s was something along the lines of work, work, work and you will be okay.  Most westerners would probably kill themselves at the thought of living such a life.

You can rationalize almost anything that works out on paper but your mind and body might object.  Life is often confusing.  We’re faced with dilemmas and always second guessing ourselves.  There’s always advantages and disadvantages for every option and often it’s never that obvious what is the 100% correct decision.

For every wise quote from some smart guy there’s another wise quote contradicting it.

“Opportunity only knocks once” vs “Good things come to those who wait”

“No guts, no glory” vs “better safe than sorry”

So what or who do you believe?  Pretty much no one, unless you know them, respect them and want to be like them.  Who knows any of those people?

I’m trying to not look at the advantages and disadvantages so much when making decisions anymore.  The disadvantages just scare the shit out of you sometimes that it leaves you paralyzed.  I think I want to make decisions based more on the philosophies that I believe in.

I’ve come up with a couple recently.

1) If you make decisions knowing that the outcome will likely make you unhappy, you might as well kill yourself.

If you have a choice to choose a route in life that will mostly likely bring you unhappiness vs a choice that might not, I think the better choice is the latter even if it means you may end up miserable.  If you try to be miserable from the beginning then you might as well kill yourself.  If you end up in a miserable existence, that is okay but if you strive to be miserable when there are other options then you might as well kill yourself.  The unhappy choice might be safer but what’s the point?  You are doing no one any favours by striving after unhappiness.

2) When I have a hard time making a decision, I ask myself what most people would do and I won’t do the opposite but I just won’t do that.

Most people live the way they live because they get comfort from the acceptance factor.  They won’t feel bad about failing as long as they can back it up with an accepted line of decisions.  Failing in other methods is just regarded as ‘fucking up.’

I’m not saying to do something just because no one else would do it.  If no one is drinking paint thinner for breakfast, I won’t do it either because it’s not a difficult decision.

These are just a couple thoughts I’ve been pondering.  By the way, don’t kill yourself or drink paint thinner.  I like to inspire but not like that.

Pretty much all the females in my family are depressed.  They lived by a philosophy of, suffer now and it will all work out later.  Later has arrived and the fruits of their labour are not so sweet.  It’s not the same as, suffer for 4 years of university and it will all work out.  It was, suffer for 30 years and it will all work out.  Most of them have lost at least some of their marbles.  My mom probably being one of the most normal.  The others are heavily medicated or waiting for death.  One could argue it’s a genetic thing but I’m convinced it was a life thing.

My grandma is probably the most mentally healthy.  She’s the biggest bitch out of all of them but she’s the furthest from crazy.  I think it’s because of her expectations, beliefs, the era that she spent most of her life in and the fact that she was the matriarch of the family.   My grandpa was a total loser.  The alpha males in my family were a deadbeat father I never met and a grandfather that didn’t work while raising 9 kids.  All he did was smoke cigarettes and watch TV with his grandpa blanket.

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8 comments on “Philosophies for Life

  1. tedgaming says:

    I hate people who think they’ve got life all figured out and they try to tell me what I should do to improve my life and why I’m miserable. They don’t know shit. Part of my misery is because they exist and they’re bothering me. (I’m not calling you one of those people by the way) Because I have no clue how or if I’ll ever find any happiness, my life philosophy is to reduce misery as much as possible. Most people are annoying to me. Once I decide that a person is annoying, I completely disconnected from them. But then I get disconnected with everyone and that doesn’t work out either. It’s sad to think that my current shitty emotional state is already better than if I actually gave two shits about the people around me. It’s not that I don’t want to care about them, but I wouldn’t do it out of genetic obligation. None of them seem to believe anything I say anyway so why bother saying anything. Classic example with my dad that my friends think is hilarious but I feel like I haven’t worded it out properly yet:

    dad: do you want eggs with your breakfast?
    me: no.
    dad: you’re wrong.

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    • MrJohnson says:

      Reducing misery as much as possible is my main objective too rather than accumulating ‘achievements’ that require an abundance of misery.

      The only shitty thing about doing nothing is that you most likely will have to do something sooner or later. We’re all afraid that something is going to suck so we put our present energy into trying to make that something better which sucks.

      You are wrong..everyone loves eggs for breakfast..haha. I’m trying to think how that conversation would go in Cantonese but I can’t..haha.

      I’ve come to realize that the advice you get from others is usually advice on how to be more like them.

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      • tedgaming says:

        The advice thing is pretty true. People who give advice are people who think they’re doing life “right”. I never give advice because I know that I don’t know shit, and most people who don’t know shit and just talk shit. Instead of giving advice, I just list the facts for them and that usually helps out a little. I’m completely incompatible with my mom this way because all she wants is blind affirmation.

        If you can only imagine a conversation with my dad that’s illogical, then you’re probably imagining it right, lol.

        We were talking about haters the other day. I’ve caught a big one just now lol. I’m gonna blog about it.

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  2. lightpuma says:

    This was interesting and funny. I hope I’ve been properly inspired, lol.

    I find the typical education system to be one of the most miserable things for youth. It’s punishing, treats you like a donkey, and in the end, leaves you with impractical knowledge that for the most part won’t do shit to make your life happy. That’s why at one point, I gave up on it. I was determined to be successful without running the rat race. But eventually I realized when you have big goals, you will inevitably suffer in the course of reaching them. If you’re not prepared to suffer, you won’t reach those big goals. No pain, no gain.
    So I’m going to suffer the rat race for a few years. I have to in order to do what I want. But after that, I’m flipping the bird to the system and running away on my unicorn, hopefully getting the last laugh. When I think of my end goal, I feel like I’m enjoying myself and not suffering.

    I think what I’m trying to say is, I don’t mind being miserable if it’s for the right reasons. I know what I want to achieve is not vain or materialistic, so I don’t care if I’m miserable in the course of my achievement. Few good things come without sacrifice.

    As for being involuntarily miserable, I used to be that way for a long time. It was because I wasn’t connecting to anyone and felt severely lonely. Things ended up changing for me and I developed strong relationships, but if I hadn’t done that, I think travelling would have helped me a bit. Not because it would solve my internal struggle, but because it would distract me. That’s probably not a good thing, but like you said, some things might sound good or bad on paper, but in real life, they’re different. Distractions sound bad on paper but in reality they can save you from a shit-load of misery, and lighten the atmosphere until permanent changes enter your life.

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    • MrJohnson says:

      Some sacrifice is always needed to achieve big goals. It will feel less of a sacrifice if you truly want to achieve that goal for yourself.

      The school system is so horrible. I wonder if the teachers realize it and are just playing a role or if they are just dumbassess. I think it’s the latter. No joke.

      Good to hear your loneliness situation changed for you. Distractions are always better than nothing if that is all that is available.

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