Tales From the Job

I deliver parcels for a job and it’s not uncommon for government duties and taxes to be collected at the time of delivery.  It’s a surprise for some people.  An unpleasant surprise at times.  What some people aren’t aware of or are in denial of is that when you buy an item online and it’s coming from another country, you are subject to taxes and possibly duties.  This is your government’s way of letting you know that they’re not going to let you spend your money outside of the country without them getting their share.

Yesterday I had to collect $26.65 from this woman in her 50’s or 60’s, who gave  me a hard time in the past for something else.  I don’t quite remember the reason but I remember her being unpleasant but not the vagina she was this time.

Her: Oh yay, my package.

Me: Good morning.  There’s some money owing from Canada Customs for duties and tax.

Her: What!  Why!

Me: When you order something from another country, there’s sometimes taxes and duties charged with it.

Her: Well, I’ve never been charged before.  This is crazy.  This is corruption.  What? They can charge me whenever they feel like it?  So what do I do now?

Me: You would have to pay the money owing before I can give you the package.  (Translation – Pay me bitch or no package) 

Her: How?

Me: Cash, credit card or cheque.

She grunted some displeasing sound and stomped up the stairs.  Comes back with two 20 dollar bills.

Me: Sorry but I don’t carry any change.

Her: (Grunts again) Well, this is all I got so it’s going to have to be this.

Me: I don’t have change for you.

Her: So what now?

Me: If you can get exact change I can come back later or I can come back tomorrow.

With more displeasing sounds she stomps back up the stairs and comes back with $6 and hands it to me.  I thought she didn’t have change?

Her: I know it’s not your fault but…

Me: Umm there’s still 65 cents owing

She gives me a death look, grunts and stomps back up the stairs.  She comes back with 55 cents.  I look at it and think to myself…”should I?”  As comical as it might have been to see her grunt some more and stomp up the stairs for the fourth time, I decided against it.  I’m going to be judgmental and say that she could use some therapy in the form of medication or a punch in the face.  I don’t think she’s poor either.  She lives in a nicely renovated house and I’m pretty sure she’s single.  I hope she’s not with anyone.  She’s lucky Halloween just passed, otherwise I might have egged her house.

Earlier this week I had a delivery to this apartment complex that houses old people and disabled people.  He buzzed me up and when I arrived to his suite he was sitting in a wheelchair.  He had no legs and his arms were half the size they should have been in length and girth.  He sort of had a hand on one arm but it looked like an index finger and thumb only.  There was a skin issue as well.  The package was labeled as “signature required” and he asked if he needed to sign.  I thought for a millisecond that I might offend him if I didn’t let him sign but in the end I just said it was ok and that I didn’t need a signature.  I would periodically think about this guy for the rest of the day.  You see people who have it worse than you all the time and think not much of it but that moment did something to me.  In theory, if this guy is living in the shape he is in, I should never be sad about my self-proclaimed sub-par life.

These 2 pictures that were taken 10 days apart is a back alley on my route.  The dumpsters were taken away for whatever reason and more mattresses were added.



I deliver to veterinary places.  There’s actually quite a few within a relatively short distance.


I never knew they made signs like this one.  This sign is almost saying that Jehovah Witnesses are as welcomed as cigarettes being smoked indoors.


Trucks like this one get tagged all the time.  People don’t even bother removing it cause it will just get tagged again.  Some people have such a disregard for other people’s property.


I heard that the coolest thing to do these days is to blog on a Friday night.


4 comments on “Tales From the Job

  1. David Yerle says:

    You have a clinical eye for reality and the way you express it really makes things pop out. Have you thought about writing about this in a longer format?


  2. THE coolest thing ever is to blog on Friday nights. OR hang out with your cat, like me. We are beyond cool.


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