Being a Man



There’s this tribe somewhere in the South Pacific that requires a male to go through a ritual of having sharpened bamboo scar their skin to resemble the skin of a crocodile.  It’s like a rite of passage to becoming a man.  What’s the equivalent in the western world? When does a boy become a man? What is a man suppose to do?

The way it’s suppose to work is that the men in your family teach you how to become a man.  What ever their idea of a man is to them is what they are going to pass along to you.   You’re suppose to be inspired by the males in your family.  I think it’s the lack of inspiration that keep men from ever finding their way but also the ever-changing world we live in.

It’s easy in tribal communities.  You get some paint thrown on your face, a stick through your nose and you’re a man.  What’s the equivalent in the present western society?  Graduating high school?  Acquiring your career?  Getting a mortgage?  Leaving the parents nest? Being financially independent?  Lifting a truck tire over your head?  Taking out the garbage?  If those aspects of life define a man then women have caught up to being just as manly.   Except being able to lift stuff.

The differences between men and women are narrowing.  Males in my generation can’t fix shit.  We’re almost useless in this department.  We’re as good at fixing stuff as women in this generation are at cooking.  Also, the income level is not that vastly different if at all.

If you were to ask my uncles what a man is suppose to be, they would probably tell you a man is suppose to always be bringing in money and taking care of family.  Maybe they’re right but they inspired me to stay a boy.  The traditional values of family have never found its way in my life.

Perhaps the term ‘becoming a man’ has lost its significance.  Anything a man is suppose to do a woman is expected to do as well now.  Sticking up for yourself, doing the right thing, work, etc.  Perhaps all that men have left to be men is dying earlier, chauffeuring  and not crying during movies.


Emotions Cloud the Truth

I deliver parcels for a job and I deliver to this townhouse complex regularly with a gated intercom entrance.  It’s full of mothers who order shit like clothing, beauty products, shoes and photographic books of their family.  This one time I buzzed this woman’s number and no one answered so I left a note and took off.  She calls my company telling them no one buzzed and that she was home all day.  My company sent me a message notifying me of this in the afternoon.  I went back to her complex cause I was sort of going that way anyway and she was standing outside yapping with another mom.  Well, I didn’t know for sure it was her but she had this look on her face so I figured it was her.  It was a look of guilt.  She thanked me and that was that.

When I came back to the company station the customer service rep that spoke to her told me she said I was notorious around her complex for not buzzing the recipient of the package.  The story is I just leave a note and take off.  Yes, I am that big of a jerk.  The next morning I found out she escalated the whole situation to my manager but after receiving her package her whole story suddenly changed.  She called back and said she was mistaken and it was actually a courier from another company that is notorious for not ever buzzing the residents.   Or maybe you’re just a crazy bitch trying to get me in shit for something that never happened.

When I used to work at this retail place, there was this one time this guy marches in and started bitching about how I lied to him the day before telling him we had something in stock.  He points his finger at me and says, “it was you.  100%.”  After telling him I wasn’t even working that day he goes on to say, “well, it looked like you.”  I know who he was referring to cause there was only one other Asian working at that store.  He wears glasses and I don’t, plus we look nothing alike.  He’s not even the same kind of Asian.

When people are pissed off they’ll sometimes say and think anything to help their story.  The crazy thing is that they truly believe their semi-imaginary thoughts at the time, until they are faced with evidence that the only thing that makes sense is that they are crazy.


Being alone is against the law of nature

Nature has its way to ensure the survival of our species.  One of the many ways in which it does this is by making you fear the thought of being alone.  In case you are more bold than others and do not fear the thought of being alone, nature will cause you to be less happy or even depressed if you cut yourself off from your society.  Humans weren’t designed to hunt alone, fight alone or reproduce alone.  Being alone is like telling the nature boss to F off and you know what happens when you tell your boss to F off.  You are the one that usually has to F off.

The way I see it is, there’s not much motivation to live life when you’re not helping others to live life and if you’re alone with no partner, family, friends, dog, neighbour, homeless guy, pen pal, sponsored African kid that depends on you in some way that you can rationalize as important then you’re going to feel useless.  No company wants a useless employee neither does Nature Inc.

Life is all about survival, and conserving resources plays an integral part of survival.  Take your body for example, it operates as if your survival is always in danger.  It has a good idea how much energy you need and if you give it more than it needs, it will store it as fat for spare energy in case food becomes hard to come by.  When you weight train you get stronger cause you are telling your body you need to be for your regular life but once you stop, your body ceases to maintain that same strength.  Muscles use up energy so your body does not want to keep an excess of it hanging around.  It’s like turning off unused light energy in your house to save money.  If you’re always alone it means you’re not helping your species survive which means you need to be excreted.

People need food and resources to stay alive.  There’s only so much to go around so if you don’t want Mother Nature to terminate you then you have to keep her happy.  You have to contribute to the company.  Just like any organization, team work is needed in order to thrive.  We did not get to where we are today by doing it alone.  It wouldn’t have been possible.  Although, we can now do it alone it doesn’t mean you can be just as happy.

When I look around at the people around me, they may not be absolutely happy about their lives but they do appear that they have a motivation to stick around in this life as long as possible.  They feel they are important to someone or will be important to someone someday.  Perhaps they are not but if you can rationalize the irrational then it’s all the same.

Being alone is unnatural but very possible in our world today like junk food and drugs.  It’s not healthy.  When we think about the reasons why we don’t want to be alone, we tend to only look at it in a selfish view in that it’s lonely, depressing and no fun which is true but it’s really the punishment for not contributing.

If you don’t want to be alone you have to give people reason to want to be with you which usually results in you contributing to their life in some way whether it be financially, spiritually or superficially.  If you cut yourself off and don’t want to contribute then the punishment handed down to you by nature is isolation which is really suppose to mean death.  The equivalent to death in our present world is a long unhappy life.

Perhaps we have good reasons to cut ourselves off and to not regularly contribute to the lives of others but the universe does not care about your reasons and what you want.  It wants results and if you can’t produce, you’re fired.  The options are to do as you were meant to do for this world or not be very happy.

So what are you studying in university?

So what are you going to do after high school?  My answer was, “Umm, I’m going to go to post secondary.”  The funny thing was, by the time I finished grade 8,  I decided that I wasn’t going to post secondary or at least not university yet I still told people that was my plan.  I don’t know, what else was I suppose to say? “I’m going to find a low wage job” or “I don’t know.”

There are 2 common scenarios when one goes through the journey of university.

1) You know what you want to do and you know how to get there.  In this case this person probably chose a practical field to enter such as accounting and computer science.  You know, the degrees that have the highest chances of landing you a job.  That’s how it works.  If no one wants to do them and there is a demand then there is money to be made.

2) You walked into university not knowing what you wanted to do but thought you would figure it out after a year or two.  Chances are you will not figure it out.  Chances are you will end up graduating with a degree in the Arts and Humanities field.  You know, the degrees that have the highest chances of landing you no job.

What usually happens is that after your second year you feel it’s the point of no return.  You’ve gone half way and if you quit now, you get nothing except regret, money seemingly wasted and nowhere to go.  So you keep on going cause for another couple years you can still tell people you’re a university student who is going somewhere in life.  Plus you might figure out your major and your passion.  Inside you’re really scared you won’t figure it out but you feel there’s no hope without a university degree.

Once you’ve finished your third year there’s really no going back especially for nothing.  1st, 2nd and 3rd year of university mean nothing unless if you finish the 4th.  It’s like buying all the ingredients, cooking them, serving it on the plate and not being able to eat any of it.  No way.  You’re going to want to eat it even if it tastes like shoit.

There’s 1 type of employment that a general type degree can get you that will earn you a somewhat respectable income and we call them, teachers.  I know so many people who walked into university not knowing why they were there besides the fact it seemed like the right thing to do.  They didn’t want to feel like losers.  Having no real aspirations walking in, they still needed something walking out.  Who wants to say they spent 4 or 5 years of their life for not much while being crushed by student loans.  This is why most of the teachers that you had in elementary and high school sucked.  They were there mostly for the paycheque.

There are others I know who left university with an Arts and Humanities type degree and went on to get more education.  They know that degree isn’t going to do shoit for them so they end up getting into a field of study that has better potential for job prospects.  Others throw in the towel and just look for a regular job.

I’m not bashing a degree in the Arts and Humanities field but if that’s not what you want walking into university then you better know what you want, otherwise that is what you are probably going to get.

Tales From the Job

I deliver parcels for a job and it’s not uncommon for government duties and taxes to be collected at the time of delivery.  It’s a surprise for some people.  An unpleasant surprise at times.  What some people aren’t aware of or are in denial of is that when you buy an item online and it’s coming from another country, you are subject to taxes and possibly duties.  This is your government’s way of letting you know that they’re not going to let you spend your money outside of the country without them getting their share.

Yesterday I had to collect $26.65 from this woman in her 50’s or 60’s, who gave  me a hard time in the past for something else.  I don’t quite remember the reason but I remember her being unpleasant but not the vagina she was this time.

Her: Oh yay, my package.

Me: Good morning.  There’s some money owing from Canada Customs for duties and tax.

Her: What!  Why!

Me: When you order something from another country, there’s sometimes taxes and duties charged with it.

Her: Well, I’ve never been charged before.  This is crazy.  This is corruption.  What? They can charge me whenever they feel like it?  So what do I do now?

Me: You would have to pay the money owing before I can give you the package.  (Translation – Pay me bitch or no package) 

Her: How?

Me: Cash, credit card or cheque.

She grunted some displeasing sound and stomped up the stairs.  Comes back with two 20 dollar bills.

Me: Sorry but I don’t carry any change.

Her: (Grunts again) Well, this is all I got so it’s going to have to be this.

Me: I don’t have change for you.

Her: So what now?

Me: If you can get exact change I can come back later or I can come back tomorrow.

With more displeasing sounds she stomps back up the stairs and comes back with $6 and hands it to me.  I thought she didn’t have change?

Her: I know it’s not your fault but…

Me: Umm there’s still 65 cents owing

She gives me a death look, grunts and stomps back up the stairs.  She comes back with 55 cents.  I look at it and think to myself…”should I?”  As comical as it might have been to see her grunt some more and stomp up the stairs for the fourth time, I decided against it.  I’m going to be judgmental and say that she could use some therapy in the form of medication or a punch in the face.  I don’t think she’s poor either.  She lives in a nicely renovated house and I’m pretty sure she’s single.  I hope she’s not with anyone.  She’s lucky Halloween just passed, otherwise I might have egged her house.

Earlier this week I had a delivery to this apartment complex that houses old people and disabled people.  He buzzed me up and when I arrived to his suite he was sitting in a wheelchair.  He had no legs and his arms were half the size they should have been in length and girth.  He sort of had a hand on one arm but it looked like an index finger and thumb only.  There was a skin issue as well.  The package was labeled as “signature required” and he asked if he needed to sign.  I thought for a millisecond that I might offend him if I didn’t let him sign but in the end I just said it was ok and that I didn’t need a signature.  I would periodically think about this guy for the rest of the day.  You see people who have it worse than you all the time and think not much of it but that moment did something to me.  In theory, if this guy is living in the shape he is in, I should never be sad about my self-proclaimed sub-par life.

These 2 pictures that were taken 10 days apart is a back alley on my route.  The dumpsters were taken away for whatever reason and more mattresses were added.



I deliver to veterinary places.  There’s actually quite a few within a relatively short distance.


I never knew they made signs like this one.  This sign is almost saying that Jehovah Witnesses are as welcomed as cigarettes being smoked indoors.


Trucks like this one get tagged all the time.  People don’t even bother removing it cause it will just get tagged again.  Some people have such a disregard for other people’s property.


I heard that the coolest thing to do these days is to blog on a Friday night.

Meaningful People

Who do you consider to be meaningful to your life?  Common answers would be some family members and friends cause they were present during your youth and many moments throughout your life.  Your parents provided food and shelter for you.  Your friends were there for many of your life’s memories.  This is where most people would go on to say how you should cherish these people and hold them close to your heart.  I don’t know if I agree.

Your parents were suppose to feed you and house you.  If they didn’t you would have died and they would have went to jail.  Your friends needed you for their memories as much as you needed them.  It was a take and give situation most of the time.   I’m not implying that all of these people should be discredited completely but much of what seemed of value is often worthless in hindsight.

The most meaningful people in your life are the ones that helped you become a better, stronger person in life.  Free meals, hand me downs, invitations to events, birthday gifts are a bonus but it don’t do shit for your arsenal for the road ahead.

The favours that you receive from people are nice but it’s just a kleenex and not a handkerchief that is durable and can be stowed in your back pocket for future use.  The ones that made it a priority to help you live a happy life, gave you the hard truth when you needed it,  encouraged you to be a better you, are the ones that bring the most meaning to your life.  All the others were just pitching in for gas money until they arrived at their next stop.

The ones that are meaningful can die but still live on in your heart and everyday life cause they earned a spot there forever.   Everyone else may have been a mediocre steak for a few moments in your life but have long been excreted and become nutritionless.  What can be meaningful to a culture is hardly ever meaningful in real life.

How to Be Happy

Or “how to not be so miserable.”  As your spiritual guru, I am going to bestow upon to you what the Eightfold Path may not have been able to accomplish.  I have brought you many other inspirational and enlightening posts such as The Purpose of Life , Being Happy and Getting HIgh isn’t True Happiness?  As a lover of life, I would like all others to be happy as well and if I can provide such a service then I must.

The secret to being happy is to NOT THINK.  Don’t ever attempt to turn the knob to 11.  Don’t turn it all the way down to 0 either but  leave it to around 2 or 3 cause  you don’t want to get smoked by a car or your balls ripped off by a dog.  See, if you have average brain power and use it to its full potential then you will likely come to the conclusion that life and people suck feces.  If your brain is not equipped with the thinking option then think all you want cause you’ll probably never see past anything that doesn’t make you feel good anyway.

Try it right now!  Resist thinking about how things really are and tell yourself it’s great!  You think your job is a drag?  “No it isn’t, no it isn’t, no it isn’t.”  The devil will find its way in if you let your guard down but you can push him away by chanting silently, “No it isn’t, No it isn’t.”  Coming home to no one but your bed, television and internet?  Tell yourself how great it is that you get to come home to your Sealy Posturepedic, futon or sleeping bag. “Oh man, I’m so lucky to have a bed. Yes I am, yes I am.”  The devil will come knocking and whisper, “you’re a loser. Everyone has a bed.  Only a dumbass wouldn’t be sad to be you.”  Perhaps he is correct but you know if you give him that satisfaction then you will lose.

Your brain is not meant to give you happiness for very long or very easily.  It is a tool to help you survive and remind you that your life is never good enough and can be better.  It will never be satisfied until it is convinced that you are at the top of your game.

While thinking or chanting to yourself about how great it is that you get running tap water, you will get thoughts of how you really know that you’re brainwashing yourself and implementing a strong sense of denial.  You have to tell these thoughts that you know the real truth but don’t care.

Please, chant with me.  “Life is good..I don’t care…Yes it is…Yes it is…Yes…it……I have shoes…indoor heat…name brand toothpaste…ughh..ahhh…..Y…ughh..e..s….it……is (sobbing).”

Fake is Real

There is nothing that is real except life and death.  All the activities and ambitions we involve ourselves in are just games to occupy a mostly meaningless life.  It’s real to us cause it’s our daily existence but it’s all made up.  Fantasies to keep us ticking and to keep the world moving.  This is what life has become, a series of simulations for stimulation.

You have to accept and embrace life’s present reality in order to be a seemingly happy and functioning person.  Depression and sadness are so often linked directly and indirectly to not wanting to be part of regular society.

LIfe consists of Facebook, birthday parties, possessions, vacations, celebrity gossip,  reality TV which is not very realistic and raising children to do the equivalent of their era.  I don’t know if there’s much of a choice sometimes.  We don’t have tigers to slay, wars to fight, food to grow or natural disasters to prepare for that may wipe us out.  We do but someone else takes care of that for us or at least gives us the sense that they do.

We’re no longer trying to survive but instead, striving to create some story for ourselves that will provide us with a comfortable pillow to sleep with when we are old.  To look back on our lives and be able to convince ourselves that it was a life worthwhile.

Life is a game some of us aren’t very good at.  Not everyone can or wants to play the national sport of their country that is embraced by the majority.  If that is the case you have to find another game to play or not play at all.  It’s probably impossible to enjoy life without having people to enjoy it with.  If you want to be accepted and be warmly embraced by other people you have to want to play what they are playing.

Text Messaging is for Fake Chickens

Technology was supposed to make our lives easier and it has in some ways but in other ways it just created the ability to do more work.  It has also changed the way we interact, communicate and has set new cultural norms.

Text Messaging

Before text messaging became inexpensive, people had to call their contact and use their voice to communicate.  We’ve left the method of voice communication and switched to typing multiple text messages instead which can sometimes take 5 or 10 messages to accomplish what one 1 minute phone call could do.  Why do we do this?

– we’re concerned we might be disruptive by calling
– it’s easier
– it’s not that important so a phone call is not necessary

Those are decent reasons I guess but text messaging can become disingenuous, misleading and pathetic.  Text messaging clears a person’s guilty conscience of being an unthoughtful and uncaring person.  I find this is the only kind of communication I have with friends and family these days.  With text messaging, people can now pretend they care about you without ever having to see or speak with you.  I think it’s pretty obvious people aren’t that interested in speaking with you when the only communication between you are obligatory invites by text message.  If your family or friends of 20 years are too uncomfortable to call you then you’re really not that important to them.

There are times I will call people without them answering and instead of a phone call back they will send a text message.  I don’t know, that’s kind of lame.  I think it has come to the point where people avoid using voice communication as much as possible.  They’d rather hide behind their screens like a shield to avoid any possible uncomfortable conversation.  Delaying and backspacing text so that they can tailor their responses to project a better image of themselves.

My cellphone company and textamarketers send me text messages but never call.  If you never verbally speak with someone by phone or person and only text, your intentions are possibly as genuine as theirs.

Text messaging has its place but sometimes it just doesn’t do the job and that’s when you need to make a phone call.  Well, you don’t have to but if you care you will.  It’s ok not to care but it’s not really ok to half-heartedly pretend.  Perhaps it’s not a person’s fault for showcasing their fakeness but maybe it’s the fault of technology for allowing this possibility.  “Staying connected” is looked upon as a new benefit that we should all embrace in our new world but the drawback is that you stay connected to parts of your life that might be better off severed.