I walk into work every morning and often think to myself about how some of these people can do this job for years and years. Some of of my coworkers have been with the company doing the same job for over 20 years. I’ve been there for 5 and the thought of doing it for another 5 makes me wonder if I’d rather be a full time drug addict. I’m not one to ever make rash conclusions just because of the way I feel. I gather information, put my feelings aside and look at a situation without involving my emotions. I sometimes even doubt my feelings towards a situation and question if I was in their shoes maybe I’d feel differently.
When you get advice or criticism from people who are in a different situation from you, I think you have to really take it with a grain of salt. When someone who has kids, mortgage and a wife, tells me that I should do what they do, I pretty much write off their words. Some of the time it’s just them trying to make themselves feel better about their lives.
I’ve been strongly contemplating going from full time to part time but I never express this to any of my coworkers cause they’re retards who have no choice or at least feel they have no choice. They get upset when they only clock in 7 and a half hours instead of a full 8 cause it’s that tight for them. They can’t make sense as to why someone wearing the same uniform as them would voluntarily give up half his pay cheque for reasons that would make no societal sense.
I want to hear words from someone who is in my shoes but I also want to hear advice from someone who lives a different life than I do, but tells me not to do what they did. Show me some humility and I’ll consider your words. You’re divorced and out $2000 before you even have breakfast on the 1st of the month and you’re telling me I should find someone and get married? Go away. I can’t listen to that. “Hey it didn’t work out for me, but do what I did.” You hate your job but I should stay here forever? I don’t know. Just because it’s not what I want to hear though, doesn’t mean I won’t explore the idea.
When there’s so many minds against your thoughts, it’s difficult to believe what’s right for yourself. I often ask myself, “how is it that out of all these people, only I think this way?” I guess the reason is they believe they have to do what they are doing and I don’t. They believe in this particular way of life. Some people at my work don’t have kids or a mortgage but have debt in the 5 digit range, bought a new car, can’t move home with their parents or feel moving back home is like death. Perhaps they want kids and a mortgage and making less money would just hinder that possibility. I’m not in that boat.
I think it all goes back to the human instinct to want to conform and feel accepted. Most of us are raised in a way that supports that idea. I believe my upbringing lacked the tools for me to able to embrace and thrive with the game of conforming. Possibly I would conform but only if it was easy. I mean really easy.