SHTF

When SHTF (Shit Hits The Fan) it means something along the lines of chaos.  The world that you were so comfortable with, has now been shredded into many undefinable shapes that turn your life upside down, around, inside a dog pound.

Within recent years, prepping for when SHTF has become sort of the new in thing.  I understand it but at the same time I don’t.  Is the world really going to go to shits anytime soon that some of us have to stock up on canned food, guns, ammo, alternative energy and ready to go backpacks(bug-out bag)?  I highly doubt it but as humans we run on fear.  In recent years the world economy has been at its worst since The Great Depression but I don’t think even close to that depressing.  The reason for all this fear of the world collapsing is because for the first time for over half a century, we lost some comfort and it was replaced by fear.  We’re now starting to doubt the system that has prospered for us all these years and believe S will HTF.  Some people did get the real short end of the stick but not enough that the world would collapse.
SHTF was never talked about 10 years ago, even though natural disasters have been around forever.  The uprising of SHTF is due to the state of the economy, 2012 BS and possibly all the zombie movies of late.  I sort of think that some people actually want for S to HTF.  Let’s face it, most of us don’t have a lot going on in our lives and a zombie apocalypse would be the most exciting event that could possibly happen.  If your life was good, you would just want to believe that S wouldn’t HTF and that your life would continue on its merry way.  But if your life was boring or miserable, you couldn’t care less if the world went to shits cause your life is already shit.

To have some emergency supplies and food makes sense cause even if the world doesn’t go to shits, there’s still the possibility of a natural disaster hitting your town.  I think believing in the possibility that S will HTF gives people something to live for.  When your security is threatened even a little, you can start acting kind of weird.  Ever since I became mostly a loner, I started buying all these tools and supplies.  Some instinct just kicked in cause I no longer had all these people that I could possibly depend on.  It’s just paranoia.  I haven’t  used any of the tools or supplies that I’ve purchased except the one time when I used my hammer to hang a picture frame.  I have a bag of tools, bolt cutters, crow bar, duct tape and other stuff that sits in the trunk of my car.  I have knives and a ball peen hammer at arms length in my car in case I have to smash my window and cut my seat belt loose.  My next purchase will be a hatchet cause you need to destroy a zombie by striking their head.

Doomsday preppers may have all the supplies to get them through a rough time but if you were really worried about shit hitting the fan, wouldn’t you try to lose some weight and condition yourself physically?  In a SHTF situation, there wouldn’t be much fuel to run your fuel reliant method of transport.  You would probably have to run or trek to safer ground.  Doomsday prepping is like being a fake Christian.  You do the easy stuff but if you have to go out of your way you just tell yourself it will be ok.

Nice Only When There is Comfort

As a nation of gluttonous westerners, we’re often confused and disgusted as to why the undeveloped nations are so far behind us when it comes to the treatment of humanity.  They’re constantly at war, they treat women like dirt and there’s no acceptance of minority beliefs.  Wasn’t that the case in every western civilization at some point though?

You always hear people comment about how crazy life is in those parts of the world but that was us not that long ago.  It’s almost like it has to happen as part of the evolution process to get to where we are now in the western world.  Why is it taking them so much longer?  I don’t know, maybe because their military was never strong enough to conquer multiple areas of the globe?  Maybe their leadership sucked?  Perhaps they had a shitty roll of the dice and their geographical situation is in an unfortunate area.  But whatever the reason is, they’re still worried about their food, shelter, safety and as long as that is an issue all those rights and privileges will never happen. 

It’s not just the matter of the people not having secured their basic needs but also the mentallity of the government in power.  To them, they might not feel their country is in a position to put their agenda on the back burner to focus on human rights.  As long as they are not satisfied, then there’s no room in their hearts to be nice.

There was a time when western culture was quite similar to these less evolved nations and there was probably no thought in changing at the time.  Life probably sucked if you weren’t white and not a man.  But as life became easier and more comfortable, we opened the doors to new ideas.  New opportunities paved the way for all to better the economy.  There was now room for women, gays and ethnic minorities to contribute and one day even excel.  The economy continued to prosper which enabled everyone to prosper too.  As long as the rich became richer the poor could become richer.

We live in a nation where if you don’t want to work it’s ok.  They’ll give you money.  If you run around with your eyes closed on a highway and get smoked by a car, they’ll save you and give you money for the rest of your life if you can’t work.  This is not the way it’s suppose to be or should be.  It’s just the way it is right now.  There’s enough to go around without fear of the country collapsing.  Once that security is threatened no one is going to spoon feed you.  There will be no more cure cancer commercials or save the whales.  It’s just going to be save yourself.  Vegans will eat meat again and whales will die.  Nice will be just a fantasy like happiness.

Perhaps we have a hand in keeping nations from evolving to where we are.  There’s only 1 pie and it doesn’t get bigger just because there’s more hungry people.  For someone to succeed many have to lose.  If you want to stay at the top you have to keep people down.  Who knows.  There’s more to world politics than any of us will ever discover.  Human though, are not that mysterious.  Given the same situation, humans will generally produce the same action, no matter where in the world.  Have a rice day.

Weddings are ridiculous

No? Yes?  I say yes.  I’ve been Best Man, Groomsman and a spectator enough times to have an idea of what goes on to make a wedding happen.  How does anyone justify the money that is well into the 5 digit range, several months of planning and the torturing of their wedding party for a single day of ‘celebration’?

There isn’t anything else in this life that would allow you to dump that much cash and time and not be able to enjoy it the next day.    It might be an idiotic idea to spend your life savings on a brand new car but at least you get to drive it for 2 days.  You could sell it and get some money back too.  But you can’t do shit with a wedding after it’s over.  What? memories?

Weddings are all the same.  I can’t see how it can be someone’s ‘special day’ when the only difference at every wedding is the couple getting married.  Same food, same script, same order, same rituals.  If you’re going to go all out with that kind of money, wouldn’t you want to do something different?  Rent an elephant and ride it down the aisle or something?

On top of the obligation of having to attend, there’s always an obligation for guests to bring a gift or give money.  It kind of sucks when you barely want to go but having to pull money out of your own pocket as well adds to the pain.  If they end up getting divorced, you should get your money back cause that wedding was a fraud.

The wedding party and guests of the wedding are not always special people of the bride and groom.  They just might be special to them during that time of their life.  Sometimes not even.   After a few years have passed, I think that some of those people would not be invited if that wedding were to happen today.  Sometimes they just need to fill up seats.

Being in the wedding party is excruciatingly torturous.  You have to wake up at an ungodly hour and pretend to be happy for the whole day.  You end up being part of an over priced movie remake with no alternate ending.  Like it was some kind of test you had to do to get a license.  Shouldn’t the wedding party consist of the people in your life that you are least fond of?

I don’t know what goes on at other weddings but I know of a few and heard of a couple more that spent $5000 to $10,000 on a 5 minute video, capturing the bride and groom performing scenes of MTV like nature with the song of choice.  That’s on top of all the other exorbitant costs to appear special.

It’s weird that you have to do all this wedding stuff in order to have the opportunity to be with someone forever.  It’s even more weird that this process will always continue to happen.  It’s exactly like a movie in that there’s a script, actors and hardly any of it is real.

 

Respecting Change

It’s really difficult to make a change when it doesn’t look good on paper.  Numbers are black and white.  More is usually better.  If it makes sense on paper then it makes sense in life.  If not then it’s looked upon as irrational.

If you’re working a job and it pays you a decent salary, it would seem silly to leave for anything less.  If you just worked that job forever, the numbers tell you that you will be just fine for the rest of your life.  You tell yourself you can do it cause in the beginning you’re fresh and it’s difficult to know how you’re going to feel in the future.  If you don’t have enough experience and lie to yourself, you’ll be able to tell yourself you can do it forever.  The security feels so comforting that you want to believe it, so you do.  The reality is though, people get sick of everything if there’s no change.  We often don’t respect the need for a change so we commit to the idea of forever cause we think we can and it makes us feel secure.

The truth is, you will get sick of almost everything.  That dream job you landed will suck the life out of you in a few years.  You have to move up, down, out or sideways.  It’s part of our instinct that tells us that once we have conquered an area of our life, we have to move on to try and conquer something else.  We’re a species of progression.  We have to at least think we’re possibly moving on to bigger things.

To be honest, I could just work the job I have now and life will be pretty comfortable.  Comfortable on paper but not in my mind.  My sanity does not care about what looks good on paper.  Being stuck sucks a big fat one.  That’s my opinion anyway.  People who are stuck can only justify being stuck cause it looks good on paper and cause they pretty much don’t have a choice.  Wife, kids, mortgage and no employable skills.   You walk into that life, you’ll never walk out.  I guess there’s some contentment in knowing that you don’t have a choice and that there’s enough people stuck with you to give you positive reinforcement that you’re doing the right thing.

I never really understood the concept of a dead end job.  I always thought the worst aspect of it was the inability to make more money.  Now, I see it as the inability to change.  The more I look at the word ‘change’ the more it resembles a Chinese looking name like ‘Chang’ or ‘Chan” or ‘Chang E’ or ‘C Hang E’ or ‘Cha Ng E.”

Sometimes change only comes when there is change.  When you get stuck in a routine, nothing new happens.  One day your routine gets jumbled and something great steps into your life.  You miss your regular bus but the next bus is where you meet your new best friend or the person who hooks you up with your new job.  I guess it could also be where you meet the person who murders you.  Either way it’s still exciting.  Perhaps you might end up dead but if there’s no change in your life you’re pretty much dead anyway.

The moral of the story I suppose is that you’ll probably want some kind of change in your life even if the life you have now is roses and rainbows.  It might not make sense on paper but life doesn’t make much sense.

E-cigarettes and Vaping

If you’ve ever been any sort of cigarette smoker, you will know all to well the need to smoke a cigarette when you are consuming alcoholic beverages.  For many of us we can’t or don’t want to smoke in our home and sometimes going outside for a cigarette is annoying.  I’ve found a solution for my situation.

E-cigarettes have been around for only a handful of years and recently have been gaining popularity cause of the drawbacks from traditional cigarette smoking and the improvements made to E-cigarettes.

ecig

Vaping is the name given to sucking on an E-cigarette as it is not smoke that you are inhaling and exhaling.  It’s vapour.  There’s an electronic burner that burns a liquid concoction that will or will not contain nicotine.   I’m sure there’s something else in there that aids in the vapour process but I’m too stupid to be able to explain it so just trust that it does.

Advantages to Vaping

It does not smell.  This is a big one.  You can smoke it in your house and the person next to you will see vapour and smell nothing.

-It doesn’t leave a taste in your mouth.

-If you are in a non-smoking environment you can sneak off to the washroom and harmlessly vape.

-In theory it should be way less unhealthy compared to cigarettes.  The liquid I bought apparently only contains 4 ingredients.  Nicotine, flavour additives, something else and something else.  Apparently though, it also contains a chemical also found in anti-freeze.  That probably can’t be good but I don’t know how not good.  Cigarettes contain hundreds of chemicals and the tar from smoking cigarettes is probably pretty bad.

-E-cigarettes are also suppose to be cheaper than cigarettes.  I wouldn’t doubt it.  The kit I bought was $46.  That’s like 6 packs of cigarettes.  The $46 includes the vaping device, charger and a liquid.  Bottles of liquid are $8 and if you can get that to last you at least 2 days you should be better off.  Who knows though, maybe some people end up sucking a bottle a day.

For someone like me though, I’m probably better off smoking cigarettes cause I’m finding myself sticking that thing in my mouth way too often just cause I can.  I hardly even smoke cigarettes.  Maybe a couple a week.  Sometimes once a month.  I’ve had packs last me half a year.  I bought this thing yesterday and I found myself vaping in my car at every red light.  Throat was a bit sore by the end of the night. There’s still tons left.

The one advantage I think regular cigarettes have is that they get the job done faster cause they’re more intense.  Also, they make you look cooler.  Feel cooler too?

I can see E-cigarettes becoming really popular.  I think smokers will at least try it out or use it as an alternative when smoking a cigarette is not convenient.  Currently, e-cigarettes aren’t regulated by any government agency or any FDA sort of thing.  If that happens and there’s a good possibility, I don’t know if it will be for the better.  Guess we’ll have to wait and see.

ecigcase

There’s dozens of different flavours you can get.  I chose grape but they are all pretty pleasant.  You also have a choice of the nicotine strength.  I went with the medium. The throat hit is dependent on the amount of nicotine.  That’s what the guy told me anyway.

ecig2

So ya, I don’t know.  I’m going try this thing out for a while.  If I get to attached to it, I’m going to have to quit.  It might be less unhealthy than cigarettes but the fact that you’re inhaling some kind of unnatural substance in your body, it can’t be that healthy either.  Or maybe it is?

A Mutt Post

The first thing I do when I get home from work is pour me a glass of red wine.  I think about it during work and it brings a bit of joy to my life.  Most of the time I am in denial about my wine drinking.  I’ll be at the liquor store and only buy one bottle cause I tell myself that I won’t need to drink more than 1 bottle a week.  I almost always regret it and by mid-week I’m back at the liquor store buying more wine.  It’s stupid cause the busiest time at the liquor store is when everyone is heading home from work.  Plus it’s against company policy to buy liquor while wearing your uniform and it makes you look immoral in front of everyone else buying liquor (I work for a big courier company).  Although most of them are probably borderline alcoholics anyway.  It’s always amusing to see other couriers lining up with you.  You see each other and you get this sense of fellowship.  You both know what the other probably went through that day and how much you are looking forward to ingesting alcohol.

Last week I had a reattempt delivery to a residential address.  I wasn’t the one who attempted the first time but this older Japanese woman who answered the door wanted me dead.  She didn’t say anything when she opened the door, grabbed my handheld machine and hastily signed for the package.  I couldn’t help myself and asked, “is everything ok?”.

Her:  Why you give me this paper saying ‘final attempt?!?”.

Me: We only do 1 attempt now.

Her: Howcome!?!

Me: (I don’t even remember what the hell I said)

Her: (staring at me like I killed her dog and ate it) Why you ask me to pick up at your place?!?

I kept trying to be polite with this crazy woman but she wouldn’t have it.  Her English sucked so she resorted to giving me death stares.  I’m not even sure why she was so mad.  I think she thought I only did 1 attempt just to spite her.  I delivered to that house more than a few times before and everyone in her household including her always seemed great.

She said some other ridiculous stuff but at the end of it she said something in Japanese and slammed the door.  I have this feeling they weren’t loving words.  I wasn’t even upset cause I couldn’t understand why she was so mad.  Whatever.  Little does she know I live 2 blocks away from her.  I could egg her house and be back home in 1 minute.  Not to mention the next time I get a package for her I could shove dog shit in it.  I wouldn’t do that though but since she’s so close by I could possibly egg her house out of boredom.  Yes, I’m 33 years old and have juvenile thoughts that have a high possibility of being carried out.

A couple days before that incident I had a delivery and on the box it stated to deliver to the back door.  Alright, so I walk to the back and there’s no door except a garage car door. I walk all around the house and there’s no other doors besides the front.  The front door was open and the woman said, “I don’t know where the backdoor is but I know there’s people living downstairs.”  Sounded kind of weird but whatever.  I want to get this package to this guy so I knock a few times on the side window on the lower level.  No response.  I walk to the back once more and the garage door is open now with 2 guys standing by the man door to the house.  The one guy was pissed off.

“Who the fuck knocks on the window and wakes someone up?”

I went from calm to ready to bite this guy’s ear off.  I couldn’t believe he was yelling at me.

Me:  I couldn’t see your door cause this garage door was shut.

Him: Doesn’t mean  you should knock on the window and wake someone up.

Me:  Where should I knock then?

Him:  I don’t know but not on the window man.

I think they were boyfriend and boyfriend cause they both sounded kind of gay.  He was just pissed off cause I woke him up and the package was for his boyfriend and not him.  They also live very close to me.

People are idiots.  If someone knew where I lived I wouldn’t try to be confrontational with them but maybe I think like that cause of all the delinquents I associated with all my life.

Here’s some pictures for you

You can’t see it really well but she’s walking like 7 dogs.

dogwalker

This is a common statue of a lion that you will see at Chinese houses except this one has a customized paint job.  Like makeup.  It never lets anyone see its face without makeup on.

lion

Just after lunch a rainbow appeared when I was walking out of my home.  I’m sure those two dudes enjoyed it.

rainbow

Life’s a bitch and then you die
That’s why we get high
Cause you never know
When you gonna go

Isolation and Depression

Depression and sadness are very real.  It’s undeniable.  It’s part of nature’s inner workings.  I think everything a person feels is related to one’s own survival and the survival of life.

As humans we were designed to live and thrive in groups.  Often the repercussion from feeling alone is some kind of sadness.  If you’ve ever come across the signs of depression, you’ll usually see one that says something about withdrawing from friends and family.  However, you can be surrounded by many friends and family and still feel alone.

When depression arises there’s two options that come to mind.  The first is to find a way to a happier road and the second is to kill yourself.  I suppose there is a third which is to stay depressed until you die or until something magically happens.

I think we’re designed to contribute to our community/tribe and being depressed does no one any good.  If you are depressed you are excess baggage.  Nature sees you as fat that needs to be trimmed.  You don’t want to live?  Whatever.  If you’re too depressed to contribute then you are just wasting food and resources for others who want to live.

To feel isolated in a hunter gather society would mean your tribe doesn’t want you or you don’t want them.  If you don’t want them then it would basically mean you want to die cause a single human being could not survive alone in the wild with lions and hyenas.   No animal that lives in a pack ever leaves.  Wolves, lions, hyenas, monkeys.  They stay with the crew even if it means being treated like shit, the last to eat and never reproducing.

Love keeps us alive.  If you love someone you want to better their survival and in return they want to better yours.  There’s not much love when it comes to isolation.  If no one loves you it means your life isn’t worth anything.

There isn’t really anything we aspire to accomplish that is really just for ourselves.  No one makes YouTube videos for themselves.  They post it online hoping other people will view it and get some kind of joy from it.  Have you ever wondered why people feel good when other people show appreciation for their work?  It gives a sense of contribution to a community.  The same goes for blogging.  No one posts their writing hoping no one will read it.  If that were the case we would be writing on Microsoft Word and saving it to our hard drive.  We want to make a connection.

The main reason why many people set out to get higher education is to not be alone.  Guy gets degree to get good job so he can get girl and be respected by peers.  It’s just a means to an end.  The end is to not be alone or feel alone.

This is why we conform.  For fear of being alone.  The thought of being alone automatically equals depression in our minds.  We can’t help it.  We’re designed this way.   The world wants you to conform.  It’s scary not to cause the alternative brings thoughts of loneliness and sadness.  Think about something that everyone seems to want in life but you don’t.  There’s this part of you that will always try to rationalize going against your wishes cause you don’t want to feel alone.

9 out of 10 doctors would probably diagnose me as being depressed.  I exhibit many of the symptoms.  If I were to really spill my guts to them they would probably even consider me semi-suicidal.  Prior to ditching the people in my life I had none of these symptoms.  I wasn’t happy but I displayed a want to live.  Which is better?  I don’t know but this is the road I chose.

In my unprofessional opinion I’m not depressed.  I just don’t believe in what I used to and don’t know what to believe in anymore.  I don’t think we were ever meant to disband from our tribe and live long enough to think about it.  In our present time we have found a way to unnaturally survive on our own but I don’t know if we can ever escape our biology and be happy feeling isolated.