Partially Mentally Disabled

It really sucks how there’s no recognition for people who are only sort of not normal.  There’s so many people out there walking around that are semi-retarded, partly suicidal, little bit schizo, etc, but they don’t get the badge of honour from any doctor making them officially less normal and eligible for benefits.  So without that stamp of approval they are expected to go out and live life with all the normal people and are also expected to have the same desires and the ability to achieve those desires.  Without being certified fully f’d up everyone thinks there’s something disgustingly wrong with you when you can’t excel or even stay on par with what is considered a standard life in society.

On the other hand when you’re diagnosed as crazy or something then no one expects much from you and you expect less from yourself.  It’s like a pass to be lazy, poor, fat or heavily medicated.  When you are only half mentally ill you get no disability payments and it’s twice as hard to be normal compared to the average.  Normal, meaning wanting to keep your employment, having motivation, an undying ego, spice for life, beliefs, hope.  You know, all the things that make most people want to live and make them feel good about themselves.

Sometimes I feel like a plant that was watered with different water than all the other plants in the garden.  Different fertilizer was used to help me grow and I didn’t get enough sunshine.  I don’t think I’m half mentally ill but I’m missing the full desires that most people have.  Without strong desires and hope, life becomes a somewhat painful routine of just getting by.  When it is too much of a struggle to conform with society some choose to check themselves out of the sane asylum and venture into the dark side.  For others the plunge into dark waters is too frightening for the time being so they only go in knee deep.



5 comments on “Partially Mentally Disabled

  1. I don’t get where all this pressure to conform is coming from. Who dictates these standards…just the media in all its disguises. I think it’s pretty well-documented that most people aren’t happy or feel alienated. Sometimes you even say that yourself, that our survival is too easy. So now some humans have invented new tribal rules and we can follow them or not.

    I might be half crazy (well maybe 5/8ths, which would be about 18 mm to you) but I’m surrounded by people that go to 100. I don’t know what they want but I’ll bet a lot of them lost their ego, beliefs, and hope a long time ago. I think a lot of those people who we think have normal aspirations really don’t. They’re just not honest enough to confess. They go home after smiling all day to their nice house and wife and kids and leave horrible insane anonymous comments online or look up porn.

    At least we can respect ourselves.


  2. MrJohnson says:

    I think many people give into the life of conforming cause they don’t see a better option. The idea is if you don’t conform you’ll for sure live a life of loneliness, isolation and misery. If you associate with family and friends that just brings more pressure. The influence can be overwhelming sometimes. I agree that there are tons of people out there not happy about doing what they are doing but I think they at least believe they have to do it which brings them some kind of satisfaction. I think it’s pretty easy for some people to follow the herd. If you can easily jump through the hoops of education, relationships and working then conforming might be a breeze.


  3. lightpuma says:

    Man, seriously, one word: Travel.


  4. lightpuma says:

    Teach English abroad (I’m not dying until I do!). Go on a volunteer trip. Go somewhere and learn to scuba dive. It’s not exactly scientific therapy but going to far away places helps you think outside the box and get a fresh perspective on things.


    • MrJohnson says:

      I’ve been to Istanbul, Moscow, Italy, Tokyo. Nelson Mandela invited me to Africa but I usually have too many problems with my probation officer. They made comic books about me in Japan. Ya I’m full of shit. I was just quoting a show I’ve seen.

      I’ve been to a few places. I lived in a hostel for 5 months with people from all parts of the world. I almost died in the ocean. Lifeguard, ambulance, hospital and everything. Checked out a few hours later and went drinking. Didn’t phase me. Travelling may change you a bit and give you new knowledge but I think it wears off.

      I had a friend who went to China for several months. He came back a changed man it seemed. He was grateful for what he had in Canada. It didn’t last though. A few months being back he was all up in the rat race again. Travelling is great and everything except the coming back part to regular life.


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