Woke up this morning and laid around and fell back asleep again. Woke up and watched a BBC nature dvd. 1pm rolls around and I feel like total crap inside and out. I had to get outside so I did some exercise and walked around for 20 minutes. Once I came back from my walk I was all of a sudden inspired to wash my car, shampoo my floor mat (I only did 1 of them) and do laundry. I had no ambitions to do any of these things when I was laying around breathing in stale air. I guess that’s my positive inspirational speech for you all.
In my mid 20’s I worked at a call center responding to customer questions and concerns through instant messaging. I was stuck at a desk for 8 hours a day. Not sure how I did it but maybe when I was younger I had more tolerance for stuff I didn’t like. Being stuck indoors drove me nuts. I wasn’t aware of it at the time though. I would sneak off to the washroom not to use the facilities but just to get away from my desk. I would just stand by the sink and dread going back. At times there was this feeling of wanting to jump out of the window cause my mind and body were so restless. Anyway that job stunk but the pay was ok and the benefits were really good. Another instance where I sold my soul. Anyone who works at a call center and says they like their job is probably a liar liar pants on fire. There’s really nothing to like. People yell at you and ask you not so smart questions all day. The being stuck at the desk part might be the worst thing for me Time crawls…like really crawls. Not sure if I could do a desk type job again. Plus your mind and eyes get all zombied out by the end of the shift.
Ever since I started blogging I never really put much effort into reading blogs until recently. I’ve been surfing the tag, ‘thoughts’ and the blogs listed there get me all confused. I come out of it not knowing what to think sometimes. It ranges from super positive to super depressing to super normal to super anything. It sometimes makes me question what I normally think. I can always relate to the more depressing, cynical and hopeless type posts but don’t want to disregard the somewhat positive ones that my mind wants to quickly reject sometimes.
Just want to say Sundays suck when you work Monday to Friday. It’s like the come down from getting high. There’s the Monday Blues and then there’s Anxiety Sundays. I guess that’s a bit extreme. Maybe Somber Sundays.