Pretty bored these past couple of days and I don’t got much drive to do anything. Freaking sounds like depression. I really don’t think I’m depressed though. I just don’t believe in anything. Denial? I think the list of symptoms of depression are long enough that everyone has 1 or 2. The ones that got me thinking about it recently are loss of interest for usual activities and withdrawing from friends and family. Isn’t it possible to just become tired of your usual activities, friends and family? I never really liked what I usually did for “fun”, I just did it cause I thought I was suppose to. The same goes for friends and family. Maybe I’m not happy but at least I’m not lying to myself anymore and there’s some peace to that.
This was suppose to be a post about stuff around my home wasn’t it. Let me get back to that.
This is a plant that has been deceased for 3 years. Someone gave it to me but I couldn’t keep it alive. It was just too demanding. I promised never to love again until I was ready.
This is my new plant. I found it at the supermarket and the label said it didn’t need much light or water. I was like holy shit, I can do this. A year later we’re still together. This thing goes weeks without water and I keep it inside where there’s not much light. I wonder sometimes if it’s even real.
The ceramic Indian inspired elephant was something I got off Craigslist. I love these things. There’s nicer ones but I don’t know where to go to get them. $50 for 2 of these. He stays outside and guards my front door.
This is my weed grinder. I hardly ever even smoke weed but this thing is so cool. It’s suppose to be a decent quality one too. I figure I could keep this for life anyway even though I’ll probably lose it one day. The operation of it is really smooth.
This is the grinder taken apart. It has 4 pieces to it. The weed gets grinded and the finest particles go to the bottom.
This is my radio I turn on every morning while I’m getting ready for work. I listen to news, weather and traffic. I don’t really need to listen to traffic cause work is only 5 minutes away but it makes me feel good to hear all those suckers are stuck somewhere in a highly congested route. I don’t mean it, they’re not really suckers but it still feels good. I get a little joy from other peoples misery, so what? Not like I can do anything about the traffic. I bought the radio from a flea market for like $50. Ya I know, it looks like something you would have to pay someone to take away. It’s made in like 1970 or 1980. It’s not that easy to find a decent radio these days. They’re starting to become extinct.
This is my plant again closer to its actual living spot. Behind it is my Buddha statue. I bought this when I got all into Buddhism and spiritual stuff. Got kind of boring. Hahaha. I’ve spent a lot of energy throughout my life looking for some kind of meaning or direction. I even opened up to the Jehovah Witnesses and hardly anyone is ever that desperate. They were so excited when I showed interest. Now I can’t fully get them off my back. They write down your address and give it to whoever is doing that route that day. One day these 2 younger guys knocked on my door which is in the back of a house cause I rent. I accused them of having my location on their list and they denied it. They said, “no we don’t, we go to the back of houses all the time.” I know they have a list cause when I see them walking around they’re looking at this piece of paper all the time. This other time there was this older Jehovah Witness guy and he would come around during my lunch break. He knew I was home cause my truck was parked outside. I told him next time to come on a weekend. So what does he do? Next week he knocks on my door while on my lunch break again. I didn’t answer and he never came back. Hehehe. When they found out where I worked they informed the Jehovah Witnesses at work and then they started bugging me. I just act all grumpy when they start inviting me to things.
I like Buddhism better cause you’re not obligated to try very hard and they’re so forgiving. Not sure what I will explore next. Maybe crazyism.
When you’re not feeling so great it’s good to get some exercise and fresh air. The shitty thing is when you don’t feel so great you don’t feel like doing anything. It’s like trying to get a job when you don’t have any work experience but every job asks for work experience. The End!