Thinking too much

Yesterday was a bit of an oddity.  While I was working I saw this guy walking down the street and he looked familiar.  I wasn’t sure but I was like whatever and just yelled out a name.  He turned around and indeed it was him.  Used to work with him over 10 years ago in another suburb of the city.  We exchanged numbers and he enthusiastically wanted to meet up the next day.   Called him and texted him today and nothing.  Not disappointed cause my expectations are low.  Possibly he’s just busy or something.  We’ll see and whatever.

Later that day a friend calls me for a favour.  Haven’t really seen him in a year.  I don’t turn down a favour cause I don’t know.  Guess I’m just a loyal son of bitch.   Got to chatting and after he tells me that I “think too much.”  Isn’t thinking what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.  Thinking is what brought us to the world we live in even though some of it is shit.  I wouldn’t be writing this and you wouldn’t be reading this if it weren’t for thinking.  Without thinking you’re just a droid who just follows what is in your environment.  A sheep.  Without thinking there is hardly a chance at  seeing the truth but I guess if the truth is potentially damaging to the ego then thinking would be detrimental to many.  It’s an ego based existence that most strive for.

Same night a friend I haven’t seen or heard of in a couple years dropped by.  Last time I saw him he was not in the best state.  Lost his fortune, his friends and most of his ego.  I always had a feeling he would come around cause he dropped his ego and was searching for something else.  He was the envy of most people in his early 20’s.  Millionaire, hot girlfriend and luxury cars.  It got to him though after a while.  Everyone treated him different and he hated it.  Boohoo some would say.  Maybe.  But he’s just like the rest of us.  A person with his own battles looking for a solution.  This guy cracks me up sometimes cause he’s so open about things.  He’s been trying to have kids but he tells me his sperm is deformed.  He’s been a chronic pothead for 20 years, his health is shit.  He’s 5’8 and is 205 pounds and not much of it is muscle.

Tonight I’m just wining and swining.  Wine and swine go so well together.  People who don’t think are just obsessed with their survival and enhancing it.  Blindly perpetuating the species by producing pollution and teaching them how to continue the cycle of consuming, shitting and pissing.  “That’s life.”   F off.

And screw you to the recent influx of fake likers who are attention whores and also to the ones who are trying to get people to go to their blogs to “make money blogging.”    Go make money selling yourself on the street.



There’s only one way to not care about what people think

You always hear people saying, “who cares what people think.”  Everyone gives the impression that they live life entirely according to their own individual desires yet they coincidentally live the same life with the same ideas.  When I say “everyone” I am generalizing but you know what I mean.

I’ve found the only way to really not give a shit about what anyone thinks is to have less people in your life.  Why can’t you not give a shit and still have tons of people in your life?  Maybe one can.  I don’t know.  I guess that would make the title of this blog incorrect.  Perhaps instead it should be, “A theory on how to not care about what people think.”   Or I could just change the title and delete this paragraph.

I think the more tribes or close relationships you are connected with, the more difficult it is to really live life as you truly please.  In theory it would seem you could just not give a shit but I think that goes against our primordial instincts.  With less people in your life there’s less judgement, less ideas battling each other, less negativity, less voices of criticism.  If your choices in life are not on the same path as the others around you then you are most likely going to get negative criticism.  The further away your ideas are from others the deeper the criticism.  People don’t care about what you want.  They only care about what makes them feel better about themselves.

Almost sounds like I’m telling you to ditch all the people in your life in order to have a chance to do what you truly want.  Definitely not saying that.  I’m just saying if your life ever became almost void of regular communication with the people you consider yourself attached to, you would see many new angles about life and yourself.   For myself I’ve just accidentally found that with less people in my life the more free I am able to be.  Sounds like a total nutty theory, I know.  Cause aren’t people one of the key ingredients to a good life?  Probably but most people are shitty and chances are there’s shitty people in your life and you may not realize it cause as long as you’re connected with them then you’re probably influenced by them and connecting on the same shitty level.  It’s really difficult in our society to push away people who hold these titles like family or long time friend.  It’s like the mafia or something and once these people hold one of these prestigious titles it’s like they are ‘made.’

Our survival instincts tell us that more people the better.  This most likely was the case when we were hunter gatherers.  In those times you definitely wanted to be with the largest and strongest group.  Being alone would mean death pretty quickly.  I’m starting to think though that is the only reason why people tend to want to gravitate to large groups.. for survival purposes.  But if you absolutely know that you don’t need a tribe or anyone to survive, is it possible being alone might be the happier card to play?  Not being committed to anyone or any group?  Cause as humans we get sick of people if we see them day in and day out.  We get sick of everything and anyone unless if it’s constantly giving us joy or ensuring our survival.  We’re always breaking up with people, cutting ties with friends, acquaintances and reliving the process over and over again.  People tend to only tolerate other people when they need them for something to enhance or ensure their survival but once they aren’t doing it for them anymore then the communication slowly erodes to nothing.  Seems unnatural to even think being alone could be better than belonging to someone,  some group or groups but we live in a very unnatural world.

I always to do this.  I start writing a post when it’s near my bedtime and am not fully sure if I even think I made sense but will press the ‘publish’ button anyway cause well, it doesn’t really matter.



A little bit about hemp

This video clip that I cut out is about hemp and the conspiracy behind it being illegal and the amazing uses hemp could be used for.  Trees that get cut down to make the paper we use, take 20 years to grow back but hemp plants that produce a better quality paper take just 4 months.

For a more in depth look behind the story of marijuana and hemp, there’s a good documentary called, “The Union” The Business Behind Getting High.”

Here’s a link to a website with some interesting facts about hemp.

I”m a regular user of hemp protein powder cause it’s the most natural nutritious protein powder out there.  Have a look at the ingredients between hemp protein powder vs whey protein powder and it’s very apparent which one is more natural.  Hemp protein powder can have just one ingredient, hemp protein.  Whey protein powder usually has an ingredient list a mile long.

Have a listen!

Quick thought on happiness

Thinking about all the people I have known very well my whole life and not one has ever came across as being happy for very long especially in their adult years.  However, all the people I don’t know so well and hardly ever see almost always give the appearence they are happy as hell.  “How you doing?” They always reply “Good!”or “fantastic!”

Guess it’s either I surrounded myself with sad saps or everyone else is playing pretend.

A day on the road with my manager

I deliver parcels for a job.  Once a year my manager comes out with me on a ride along to sort of score me on how well I’m supposed to do my job.  I knew it was going to happen around this time of year but he surprised me yesterday morning.  I wanted to get it over with but I wish I had some notice the day before or something so I could make sure I wouldn’t be hung over for the ride along.  Lately, I’ve been slightly hung over most mornings cause of the red wine and that day was no exception.

The first thing he pointed out was that my parcels should be on the top shelf of my truck.  My excuse was that I’m not tall so I prefer the lower shelf.  That didn’t fly.  When you work for a big company they have all these rules on how you should do your job to execute as much efficiency as possible.   I was breaking rules all day but I’m not going to get into detail cause it’s probably boring as hell.  Here’s the short version.  Did not turn on blinkers when parked, did not shut window, did not lock door, did not shut cab door, forgot addresses, misplaced package and had to back track.  Those are just the ones he made me aware of.

He was telling me about his tenant who rents his basement and how he feels sorry for him cause he just works, comes home, watches TV and surfs the internet.  He tells me the guy doesn’t seem to have hobbies and is really overweight.  I guess that’s suppose to be the poster boy for loser.  The person we’re all suppose to be scared of becoming or being.  Lonely, unattractive, no wealth.  The automatic thought in your  head is that this guy must be unhappy as hell.  Sure sounded like my manager was thinking this.  I would have thought the samething before but now I think, who knows if that guy is unhappy or not. Maybe he’s in a better place than most of those people out there who painstakingly dedicate their lives trying to fit in with society.  The truth is the majority of the population are not attractive, not rich and somewhat lonely but put every ounce of energy they have to not appear this way.  That must be tiring.

Halfway into the day I guess he felt it was time to ask if I found that “special someone” yet.  People always have to work into that question.  You can’t just fire that question right away but it will always be asked.  I replied with something about sucking at standard relationships and not liking commitment.  He chuckled and told me, “you’ll find her.”

Later he was telling me how he’s going to see a Motley Crue concert and I asked if he was going with his wife.  “Nope. No more wife. Ex-wife now.”  I didn’t know what to say but I was thinking how I wish I didn’t ask.  Then I thought… what the heck?  He just got divorced at 50, after at least a decade of marriage but he’s telling me how I’m going to find that “special someone.”  I don’t know, maybe he just wanted to be polite.  It surprised me his marriage didn’t work out.  I don’t know shit about his wife or him but he’s always been a really nice guy with not much of an ego.  Best manager I’ve ever had in my life.  He seems like a guy who wouldn’t get together with a crazy bitch either and would always be a decent partner.

Two pieces of advice that he sent my way that I’ll never forget cause he said it in such a way that it seemed really genuine.

1)  Enjoy your single years.  There’s no rush to get married.  Once you get married it’s done.  All  you’ll hear is “yap yap, blah blah.

2) Be careful with your back.  It only takes once and it’s wrecked forever.

During the ride I asked him how much I would get paid if I demoted myself to a lower position with less responsibility.  He answered, “Don’t go lower. You’re supposed to go forward, not backwards.”  I suppose that’s the case if you are “normal.”  He probably thinks I’m retardedly abnormal now.

Having a more difficult day than usual at work makes you like your job more when it’s back to normal.  It’s always like that.  You can’t be thankful for what you have until it’s taken away.  Being thankful for the good things or not so bad things in your life for no reason is just fantasy talk.  You might as well tell a human they can fly if they flap their arms fast enough.  We’re always made to believe all things in the mind are possible if we just tell ourselves it’s possible.  Obviously can’t be true but there’s no science to disprove it like there is for chemistry or physics.

Life After Death



Our instincts tell us that there is no life after death.   I think this program is installed so we do whatever it takes to not die.  Can you imagine if we knew for sure that there was another life after this?  A bunch of us would just jump off a cliff without a bungee cord at the first sign of misery.  It’s like skipping tracks on a CD when  you don’t like what you hear but if there’s only 1 track then you’re stuck with it.  There are religions that promise some sort of life after death but there’s a catch.  If you intentionally kill yourself you don’t get to go there.  Sounds like a sham to me.

We take the idea of “no life after death” to other aspects of our lives.  We have all these routines, people, relationships, ideas and etc that make up the life we know and even when we know 99% that some or all of these things are shitty for us, we let them live.  We think there’s this 1% chance that whatever we are doing will one day materialize even though it’s been nothing but mostly crap.  The human mind is extraordinary at finding ways to rationalize a shitty situation into an acceptable one.  Killing a chunk of your existence is like killing yourself.  It’s the last thing you want to do.

We get lucky sometimes and the part of our lives that is holding us down gets killed for us.  Once this happens we have no choice but to move on and one day soon we possibly see how much brighter the days are.  When we think about killing a part of our life we sometimes can’t picture the good that can come out of it.  We only imagine the bad.  Humans can kill other people and regret it after but the thought of killing themselves usually stirs up way too much fear for it to happen.  It’s like ruining someone else’s life is so easy but trashing your own is next to impossible.

Sometimes we live so long with something that we know is 100% shitty that we can’t even picture how it would be like to live without it.  The human mind seems to enjoy the present situation if it’s been around for long enough.  It doesn’t care that you’re not smiling as long as you’re living.  It knows when it’s safe so it does what it needs in order to keep it that way.   I think in life we have to take the plunge sometimes and give death to the parasites that infect us so that we can have a better life.   Outside of basic survival needs, often it’s the mental rather than the physical that needs to die.  The ideas that most of us have are strong because many of them have been around since we were young and have been reinforced constantly throughout our life.  If you believe you will be unhappy unless if you have this or that or achieve this then you will be unhappy until that happens.  If you believe something to be true then it will be to you but it doesn’t mean it’s the truth so maybe it needs to die.