It’s supposedly the worst thing that could ever happen.  We’re programmed to fear and stay away from death as much as possible   The idea seems to be the longer you live the more value your life had.  It’s like something to brag about.  Whenever you hear about someone living well into their 80’s and 90’s it’s always thought of as something great.  When you hear about someone who dies at like 40, you feel sorry for that person.

Most people don’t want to die cause they think about all the good things that will or might happen to them in the future.  They think about all the experiences and witnessing of great moments for them and the people around them.  I told my friend’s wife last time, “I don’t really care if I die.”  As expected she thought I was crazy.  It sounds suicidal but it’s not.  I don’t want to kill myself, I just don’ t think it’s a big deal if I’m alive.  Well, I know it’s not a big deal if I live or not.  She’s like, “don’t you want to be around for the happy moments in the future?”  If I’m dead, I don’t think I will want, think or feel anything.  I’ll be dead.  As far as I know anyway.

We’re all going to die.  You can’t deny this.  What difference does it make if you go at 40 rather than 90?  It’s only sad for the people who are alive when someone dies unexpectedly or at a young age.  We imagine ourselves dead and our ego tells us how sad it would be and how everyone would cry and miss us.  We think about how it would suck to miss out on everything and how you would feel like a failure for dying before most people.  The ego does not like failure.    Your life will not leave the legacy you think it will.  You’ll probably be just another John Smith.  There’s so many people who have died who have done great things for the world but they’re forgotten for the most part.  Ya their names and pictures might be in books but no one is thinking or talking about them very often.

Death is a very rare thing for most of us to witness.  How many of us have ever seen anyone actually die in real time right in front of their eyes?  We see old people whither away slowly but we never see the gruesome deaths that can occur.  In the natural world death was a regular occurrence.  People around you would die all the time.  Death would be no big deal.  I think in that type of world, death was just a side effect from living except you couldn’t really discontinue use if it occurred.  Everyday you had to take that pill to live.

I’ve been watching this DVD series from BBC Earth called, “Human Planet.”  It’s about all these different groups of people from more primitive like areas that risk their lives everyday just to eat and feed their community.  There’s no fearing death where they are.  To them there’s no life without possible death.

Our whole mindset is to live as long as possible and the longer we live the more we feel that we succeeded.  It really stops us from embracing life.  We think about how our decisions today will affect us 30 years from now.  That’s not living life to the fullest.  We have this fear that if we don’t travel on the side of security we might end up starving, out on the street and dying when we’re older.  That just might be true but we weren’t naturally suppose to be able to think that far ahead.   We know too much to really try to enjoy life to the fullest.  Information is great but at times it can be shitty when we know too much.  Thoughts and fears play in our heads.

I don’t think we were meant to strive to live a long and half or full torturous life.  We were suppose to give it our all in hopes to push innovation and inspiration.  Our safe and informative environment has tamed our wild hearts that present fear instead of ambition.   In the beginning we would see everyone face death regularly and we would follow.  Today we grow up seeing people live long shitty to mediocre lives and we follow.  Our inspiration is to plan out a life to live as long and safe as possible.

When I say that I don’t care if I die, I could just be talking shit.  I definitely don’t care as much as before though.  It’s kind of sad, I know.  Don’t get me wrong, if a cougar pounced on me I’d fight for my life and obviously lose but I wouldn’t just lay there and thank it for mauling me.  Maybe that’s it.  It’s too easy and nothing to fight for.  We need to be faced with death or uncertainty constantly to able to laugh at it.  Makes me want to throw myself in the ocean cause right now I’m living a life of fear.  I think we’re more scared of the death of our superficial life than anything.  The death of our reputation and appearance is more thought of than actual physical death.  I don’t think many of us are scared of our physical death cause we have no reason to be but we think about our death to society all the time though.  The image that we have to feed and maintain in order to feel like we’re living.  The ego that we have to sustain to want to make us keep believing that we’re important.  I’m pretty tired now.   I’m sure I’ve rambled and might not have made all that much sense at times.  Final words.  I would rather choose to live than die because death is way too big of a commitment.



11 comments on “Death

  1. onlyhedonism says:

    This post is so spot on. I tell myself every morning “I’m going to die”. At first it was depressing, now it’s more freeing.

    The truth is, the people who don’t think of this are the ignorant ones, self obsessed in their own make belief story: often people have criticised me for thinking like this, or given me funny looks, or asked “is he depressed”? The fact is that thinking like this is reality, a 100percent certainty, the only 100 percent certainty there is. It’s not depression, it’s facing the truth.

    Anyways Mr Johnson always a pleasure to read your blog! Where abouts do you live again? I’m from England.

    This is MamaJi by the way Ive moved on to a new blog and will be following you from here.


    • MrJohnson says:

      You can’t just tell yourself “I’m going to die.” You have to do something reckless everyday like get in your car and drive 100km/hour down a school zone with your eyes closed. I have to tell you I’m kidding even though you probably know this.

      People don’t like the truth especially when it detracts from their existence no matter how obvious the actual reality is. We like to only feed our brain thoughts and information that make us feel good about ourselves. Everything else is shielded from consciousness.

      I definitely remember you. You’re one of the few real followers! I’m over in Vancouver, Canada. How’s life for you over where you are?


  2. There’s no need to pity the dead, unless of course they suffered. Nobody wants to see that. It’s the bereaved we feel for. When I read about murder or car accidents or suicide, or some unexpected horrible demise that was caused by another person, I wonder who or what loved or depended on that person, and what they must be going through. We are never told about their pain, the story just ends—there is always new death to cover. Maybe the murderer got caught, maybe he didn’t. But I always think about the life-altering effects on those left behind. Are they obsessed with revenge, do they commit suicide, do they drug or drink themselves to death. The unfairness of it is beyond what most people can cope with. But we never know because they suffer alone. And surely it trickles down and may invoke a chain of sorrow. I saw this really depressing Kevin Spacey movie once about a psychiatrist whose wife kills herself, and in his misery he drinks and does drugs and neglects his beloved dog. In the movie he wakes up from a wicked binge and his dog is lying dead beside him. I hated the movie but that part stuck with me, it was so sad I cried and cried and got a migraine. I know, it’s always about dogs with me. I can’t help it.

    So I don’t know how important any of us are as living souls on this planet bursting at the seams. But even if you’re contributing just a little, then you matter to someone or something. And that’s what keeps me going—not planning my future, or living life to the fullest, or pride in some perceived accomplishment, or missing out on something that will probably never happen. Because that stuff doesn’t fucking matter.

    About eight years ago I got really, really sick. I got bitten by a tick back in CT and ended up with this kind of rare parasitic disease, sort of like malaria. I waited too long to go to a doctor, until I could barely walk or even breathe. I was lying in my bed recovering and my ex-husband came to see me. And I said, ya know everything sucks. I don’t have much of a life. But goddamn it I want it back, because this sucks way worse.

    Maybe we all need a good cougar pounce once in a while. It’s good that you made me think about this, because I let myself forget. xxx


  3. MrJohnson says:

    I’d glad you made me think about this too. Your life does matter when it matters to someone else. I forget to think about it that way cause I always think my death won’t matter to anyone for very long. Who knows though, someone could just add my death as another negative story on top of their already depressive or angry state of mind which could make life go bad for them.

    I think that’s where the whole family and kids thing comes to play for a lot of people. They know people are counting on them to stay alive. I think that’s why people have a picture of their kids on their desk at work. Reminds them why they’re grinding it out everyday.

    Anytime I hear about a disease that’s “rare” it automatically comes off as scarey. “You have a rare type of cancer.” Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

    Humans are always about progression it seems or digging themselves out of shit as I like to call it. Once we don’t see much chance of progression we get depressed, bored or something not so positive. When life sucks but then gets suckier somehow, we get motivated to just get it back to the point when it didn’t suck as bad and that brings us some happiness or at least a reason to live.

    I don’t know, it’s weird living in this world being so disconnected from how we were intended to live. At the same time it’s supposedly the best time to be living in the history of mankind. I just don’t know. I’ve watched a few episodes of “Spaced” and I like it! hahaha.. Simon Pegg is great in that show.


  4. 1st P…yeah, like me.

    2nd P…I wonder if people realize this, or if they think, hey I just love my family so much I want to look at them all day. Or if they think, jeez everybody else has a picture of their kids in their cubicle, so I better too if I want to fit in. If they ever have to do battle against something really bad though, then they’d know for sure why they’re grinding it out.

    4th P…that’s very true. But it doesn’t last, does it. You get used to ‘I’m not going to die after all’ and after a while all the things that sucked before slowly return.

    5th P…I don’t think it’s the best time to be living at all! I think there was, is, and will always be huge masses of people who are suffering, regardless of technology. So maybe humans were never meant to be happy. Because we’re aware, and can reason, and are under so much pressure from everywhere, doesn’t it seem like we’re kind of doomed? We can’t all be Buddha.

    I knew you’d like Spaced! I watched Run Fatboy Run and I liked it, but didn’t think it was the best Simon Pegg. You know what I love the most about Spaced…is the ending. They don’t get the girl, they don’t get rich, they don’t get famous. I want a full report on my desk in the morning, young man! Another favorite S.P. is Hot Fuzz. The dude is just brilliant no matter what he does.


  5. MrJohnson says:

    It never occurred to me that a picture of family on the desk might be for fitting in. Totally makes sense. Also, I guess someone would want people to walk by their desk and think, “he’s got a family, he must be happy.”

    Victories and triumphs seem to never last very long, for most of us anyway. I think some get away lucky though for various reasons.

    I think when they say “best time to be living” they mean it’s the safest and easiest time (for the general western society anyway). I definitely don’t think it’s the happiest time. It would seem like it should be but it just doesn’t work that way. The guy on the podcast that I listen to always says “it’s the best time to be living” and I can never agree with him. I’m sure he feels that way cause he’s rich, successful and appears to enjoy his life. You’re right, it definitely doesn’t seem like we were meant to be happy. Not for very long anyway. For a lot of people I think they’re just somewhat satisfied from fitting in or being able to convince themselves they’re worthy.

    I hate it when shows end all fantasy like. Kind of spoils it for me. I really like the movie “Office Space” but he gets Jennifer Aniston at the end.
    When ever I watch a Simon Pegg movie it’s always by accident but everytime I become a bigger fan.


  6. Office Space is one of my all-time favorite movies. I don’t know if it’s true in Canada, but in the US I’m constantly hearing or reading phrases I know came from the movie. ‘A case of the Mondays,’ and all of the condescending stuff the evil Lumberg says…mmmkay? and ‘yeahhh, I’m gonna have to ask you to come in on Saturday’…and ‘didn’t’ you get that memo?’ and a bunch more. I love Mike Judge. I love Beavis and Butthead. People think it’s stupid but they just don’t get it. I still watch this stuff now and then because Judge sees stuff about society that’s so real. When B & B get their TV stolen they say ‘this sucks like nothing has ever sucked before’ and for them it did. Yeah Office Space has a sort of feel-good ending, I guess I need that sometimes so I don’t slit my wrists.

    I guess the best time to be living seriously depends on your circumstances. Even in western society there are a lot of people on the verge of suicide or madness or homelessness, etc. So it might be safe in that we have hospitals and vaccinations, etc., but people who feel victimized are everywhere and they’re dangerous and sometimes go on rampages. Not to mention every time I see someone looking down texting while they’re driving I give them wide berth! Gotta watch your butt every second, be aware, keep your eyes open.

    Sometimes people are weak but a lot of times it’s just shit luck, can’t find work, desperation, crime. I see a lot of it in AZ but there are thousands of depressed towns in the US. Some people are just happiest working in a factory and mowing their lawn on Saturdays. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It saves people. So when that gets taken away everything falls apart. Not everybody is cut out to be Mr. Create Innovative New Software and Become a Success Story guy. The gov. likes to pretend they care but that’s bullshit. If they really cared they’d find a way to make stuff here instead of giving everybody food stamps. And there should be a free birth control stand on every corner! Instead of the small expense of free birth control they end up with the huge expense of supporting big families. A lot of that is cultural but it’s too politically incorrect to address that.

    Well I don’t know what this has to do with death. Yes I do.

    So how exactly does one change their own hard-wiring? Is it even possible? Have we just not found the magic book or tape yet?

    Ha ha Kwality people made in China. Oh god that’s funny. Only a Chinese person could get away with saying that.

    What is this, my blog now? Why don’t I just write my own posts? Because this is much more fun…thanks.


    • MrJohnson says:

      I totally forgot Mike Judge did office space. Hahaha. “Case of the mondays” i’ve definitely heard through the radio. Also the memo one is popular. Haven’t seen that movie in ages. Have to see it soon. The other part i didn’t like was when the main character decided that maybe working a job he didn’t like was ok. Guess it’s just not what i wanted to hear hahaha. I like beavis and butthead but really liked King Of The Hill. People never seemed to like it as much as i did. I used to watch it 3 times a day when i was unemployed. I don’t know i think it was the characters that did it for me.

      I don’t know if hard wiring can be changed. Probably some of it can’t be. I do believe there are viruses and spyware we can eliminate though that will make us run more smoothly.

      I don’t even always get away with Chinese cracks or comments. Hahaha. “What. You don’t like your own race?”

      Just wondering. Were you sober when writing this reply? Hahaha.


  7. praepostere says:

    Death is something that nobody has control over. We could plan our lives to the details and work towards them like slaves. But someday (it may be in about a few hours), you could die of something.. Dying is simple, Living is hard.


    • MrJohnson says:

      It seems foolish to save a fortune of money for your older years when it’s more difficult to enjoy. Some old people just end up going to the casino everyday trying to gamble all their money away before they die. What a waste! Ya dying is the easy part. It’s the suffering before death that sucks which is what they call ‘living’.


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