I’m high right now. You are reading a blog post from someone who is under the influence of MDMA(-methylenedioxy-N-methamphetamine). Wow, that’s a long and confusing term. I started the day with 3 medium boiled eggs and a banana and followed that with 3 sets of dumbbell squats. Refueled by a banana, pineapple and hemp protein powder smoothie. An hour later a grande Starbucks Americano with a glazed apple fritter. Sitting in my car listening to the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast the caffeine kicked in and I felt a sense of well being. I didn’t know caffeine could do that to you. I’m not a regular coffee drinker at all. I recently started the habit cause I discovered how well black coffee goes with reeses peanut buttercups. Best combo since discovering red wine with dinner. Caffeine fucks me up though.
8pm. The red wine flows. I’m buzzed and potato chips goes so well with alcohol. Crunch crunch. The worst decisions are often made when consuming alcohol. I have some MDMA in my drawer. I can’t help myself cause I’m dying for stimulation. I read about insufflating MDMA(apparently insufflating is not a word on wordpress). I’ve never tried it cause I’ve read that it hurts and its effects aren’t as good as if you were to take MDMA orally. I’m curious though and give it a shot. Fuck, it hurts.
I’m not high right away so I decide to take some orally as well. I pop in The Bourne Supremacy and I’m rather impressed by the stunning 1080p Blu-ray images. The obvious deliberate advertisements of brands is very apparent. Arcteryx, Samsung are as obvious as the shitload of tv shows and movies that display the illuminated Apple logo everytime they display a laptop.
I’m not even halfway through the movie when I can slowly feel the effects of the MDMA kicking in. My jaw starts clenching and I feel a sense of euphoria. Euphoria is such a cool word. I get this sensation to write a blog post so I feel as if I have to do it so here I am. But before I do this I go out for a cigarette. When you’re high on MDMA you really want a cigarette and it feels really good. While I’m out there smoking my 500 chemicals some realizations come over me. As much as the people I surrounded myself with over the years object to my thoughts and actions they are intrigued. Intrigued but scared cause I’m a chink in their armour. Hahahaha, I used the word chink. Hahahaha. If someone calls a Chinese person a chink it’s cause they don’t know you and it’s the only thing different they can see from themselves. Thank you for calling me something that I’ve known myself to be my whole entire life. You might as well make fun of me for having 5 fingers on each hand.
The whole exctacy or MDMA study that it gives you holes in the brain is flawed. It was government funded and has since been deemed a flawed study. MDMA used to be legal until it became a street drug. Once its popularity rose it was made illegal cause that’s just how the government does things. Before it was made illegal it was used as as therapy for marriage counseling with successful outcomes. More currently it has shown positive results for post traumatic stress disorder (ptsd).
Why do people do cocaine instead of MDMA. Cocaine is a very short high and you can do it and most people won’t even think you’re high. You can’t do MDMA on a daily basis and have it go unnoticed. Also, if you do this shit too much it will fuck you up.
Anyone reading this who had never experimented with drugs must think I’m a fucking retard. I don’t blame you. I would have thought the same thing before I ever touched any of this stuff. Drugs are everywhere though. It’s in your food and tap water disguised with the name cleaner, preservative or flavour enhancer. A Mcdonald’s hamburger that doesn’t mold or smell after 6 months? Think about it.
MDMA is usually done at parties and it makes you love everyone. It’s the strangest thing. You’ll hear about the horrible comedown and the dreaded next morning doom and gloom but I’ve figured it out that a lot of it has to do with other factors. Typically a drug like this is done in the later hours of the night which keeps you up until the early morning hours. You feel like shit and blame it on the drug but you disregard the fact that you stayed up way past your bedtime and now your sleeping schedule is whacked. By chance there was this one time when I induced a MDMA high at 7pm and the next morning I was ok for the most part. If you stayed up 10 hours past your regular sleep time you would feel like shit with or without any drugs.
I love you all out there. Thanks for being part of my life. My blog is weird but I couldn’t blog if it wasn’t in my heart. When I first started this I looked at all the Freshly Pressed blogs and thought about how cool it would be to be Freshly Pressed. I also knew I would never be Freshly Pressed. If you can’t be honest on the internet when can you be honest? Plus I don’t have a lot of pictures, positivity or an overall theme. I don’t have a lot of genuine real followers but I value to death the ones that consistently follow me. My dashboard tells me I have like 90 followers but I know most of them followed me solely to get exposure to their blog. Quite of few others read a post and enjoyed it but never came back. Only a handful actually read my blog. A few out of 90. What a fake ass world. There’s blogs that I follow that are complete opposites of mine but I follow them cause you let me into your lives. Thank you. I sort of feel sorry for the ones that followed me cause I did a post they “liked” but are probably disgusted with the all my other posts. Just realize everyone is different. I still love you anyway. Holy fuck can you tell that I’m high!
We’re really all chasing highs. Climbing Mount Everest, promotions, fitting in, junk food. They’re all highs. Who the hell wants to feel low? Chasing highs is what brought us to the civilization we live in now. Imagination is what brought us to the reality we live in today. Don’t suppress your independent spirit and imagination cause what was super freaking crazy just 20 years ago is an everyday reality today. Internet, touch screens, long distance calls? Someone had to of imagined it for it to happen.
I’m rambling cause I’m high but thank you for listening and an extra thank you if you made it this far into this post. Am I done? Hmmmmm.. let me think. I don’t know. I feel like I can type forever just like how I can dance forever when I’m high. I’m dancing with my fingers and connecting. Nope not done.
We were raised to stifle our imagination and to just follow the status quo. It worked. To keep this machine going there has to be order, control and fear. How do you keep people in order? Convince them that being a sheep will make you happy, fear nonconformity and absolutely give them something to lose.
We’re only starting to realize this system that we follow is not going to work for the long run. Resources and the infinite growth of publicly traded corporations cannot last. I believe this is why the financial meltdown happened. The powers that be knew they milked it for everything it had and did one final scheme. To date no one from Wall Street is sitting in jail for screwing over the whole world. Really? You were already so fucking rich but you just couldn’t help yourself? Fucking sociopaths. What the hell are you going to do with the millions you scammed on top of the millions you already have? Publicly traded corporations run this world. Not the President of the United States or anyone else. But for a Publicly traded corporation to thrive they have to keep their shareholders happy which means continuing profit quarter after quarter. They’re realizing the maximum potential
Before, a company could just thrive on their founding product, coca cola, eBay, GE and all the rest but once you’ve maximized your market you have to find other ways to profit. This is why all these huge companies merged and bought out so many others. Every car company owns another car company. Once you’ve squeezed everything you can out of your product you go down the line and squeeze the people. Destroy the system and build it back up again.
What do I make of all this? I don’t know except this world is going to be really fucked up in the future or there has to be a complete makeover. But to have a complete makeover there usually has to be chaos. Or some kind of revolution. A revolution will never take place until the people know they have nothing to lose. We’re far from that and they know that. As long as we’re sitting in our heated homes, cars, new gadgets and comfortable lifestyle we will never take a stand. It has to be like Libya before anything happens. We’re pussies.
Holy fuck did I ramble or what. 10 years ago I had a semi blog. It was kind of like a Doogie Howser blog where he wrote a few lines at the end of the show. People thought I was crazy then. They must think I’m an insane individual now. Although, some people respected that blog. When I say some almost no one. I’ve never stuck with anything in my life except this blog. I’m 150 something posts in. I couldn’t even commit to a fish tank all my life. But this writing stuff keeps me going. I enjoy it. I must. I can’t ever see myself quitting although I am high right now so everything seems optimistic. Should I sign off now? I should get back to my movie maybe. Shit, this was a lot of fun. No wonder that Hunter S Thompson guy loved writing. He was always high. Fuck, no more alcohol. When you’re high on certain drugs you can drink like a fish even when you have shitty Chinese alcohol tolerance like me.
I was reading this alternative magazine today and it was saying happiness is such bullshit. Permanent happiness anyway. We were never meant to be happy for that long. That would hinder evolution and that’s a no no. If you were content you would never try harder. Your monkey brain tells you that you have to at least conform. To the one that told me happiness is just a word like “awesome” and “utilize”, you might be right. Happiness might just be an ideal. And “freedom” too. To DA(not district attorney), some of the things you wrote to me semi made sense to me at first but as time goes on your words become more true. Thank you for finding me cause I would have never found you. It still baffles me that you’re a fan of my blog. I read your blog and you come across as one of those super intelligent people who would see me as some kind of retard. But you don’t and it makes me feel good. I can’t even believe I write things that hit home with you. Seriously. You use all these big words that are foreign to me and you have ideas that can be way over my head. Thank you. I’ll never forget you. Are you crying? Hope not. *Cyber hug.
Holy shit I’m high. Hahahaha. Really, I just laughed. I’m not a fake hahahah or lol’er. I’m just this 33 year old who seems to have a mentality of a person much older. I shouldn’t be thinking the things I do or living a life I do. I ditched all my friends. I had a lot of friends. I have almost no one now. I’m probably only a few postal codes from disappearing all together. I’m not giving up on life though. I’m still going to get out there. Once you stop smiling it’s over. Let’s keep smiling even if everyone looks at us with frowns. You are the creator of your life but if you follow everyone else you’re just a slave. This is what my high mind tells me. I’m out of wine…nooooooooooo!
Well, it’s been nice. I hope you made it this far. C’mon how often are you going to read a blog post from someone who is admittedly high on a a Schedule 1 drug. I know lots of people who get high but I don’t know anyone who blogs. I think this post is monumental. Thanks for reading. Good luck out there.