Have you ever thought back to when you were a kid and how nothing plagued your mind for very long. When I talk to most people they just sum it up to having no worries back then and no responsibilities. I’m sure that’s part of it. I’ve thought about it recently and I blame the transition from carefree childhood to endless tormenting adulthood thoughts on expectations.
When I was a kid I was happy to get home from school to turn on the TV to watch cartoons or teenage sitcoms. I never felt like a loser on Sunday night if I didn’t do anything on the weekend. What I accomplished, where I went, where I was going, how far I was from the promise land had no place in my mind cause no one else gave a shit. It wasn’t that difficult to fit in.
Every year that passed brought more expectations to life. That’s the difference between now and then. Our expectations. When we were kids, climbing a mole hill brought us satisfaction. As adults we have to climb mountains to get any satisfaction and then climb a bigger mountain after that.
Our expectations usually come from the expectations of the ones around us. It was ok to just watch TV all day when you were 10 years old. It was ok to only make minimum wage when you were 18. It was ok to have no career when you were 25. Expectations change with age. Life is all about numbers. At this age you should be here and at this age you should be there. It’s fucked up. If you met a 40 year old who made minimum wage, no family, renting, no nothing, most people be like, ” that person lost.” That person lost cause their life didn’t match up to the expectations of society.
The typical advice is “don’t give a shit about what everyone else thinks.” As true as that may be it doesn’t always make it any easier. Holy shit I’m buzzed from this red wine. My friend gave me a nice bottle for my birthday and I decided to open it on a special day, Thursday. If you were 1 out of 7 you would be considered special too.
Why is it that we can’t be happy just watching cartoons all day and throw baseballs back and forth to each other? It’s mostly our own mind but also just cause we’re human. We see everyone else doing certain things and we just can’t help but feel like a loser if we don’t match up. I don’t know what it is. It’s like a trick our designers put on us. You must evolve in order to be happy. Improvement of the human species is the only reason why we’re here it seems. Life just won’t let you be happy if you do nothing.
We look at life like a guidebook. With every chapter something new should be happening and if you don’t follow this guidebook you’ll be stuck reading the same chapter and you won’t be able to discuss chapter 10 cause you’re still on chapter 3 so no one wants to talk to you even if chapter 3 is the best chapter. But if everyone stayed on chapter 3 it would be all good.
When you were in school it was easy cause you were put in a system. You go to grade 8 and then to 9. Once you got out of school your destiny was all on you. No one would end up in the same stage at the same age. Your choices either made you or broke you. I think life would have been much easier for most people if someone chose our destiny for us. There would be no “what if” or “I should of” or any regret cause you didn’t have a choice to begin with.
I really hate how I open myself up to the blogesphere with these kinds of ideas sometimes. I hate giving the impression that I’m weak and bitter about life. I appreciate the hell out of all your comments and thoughts. If everything was hunky dory I guess I wouldn’t be on here and maybe you wouldn’t be either. We’re all here to help each other I guess. Like a community. Shit, can you tell that I’m buzzed. I’m going to stop now before I say something I’ll regret in the morning.