Great Expectations

Have you ever thought back to when you were a kid and how nothing plagued your mind for very long.  When I talk to most people they just sum it up to having no worries back then and no responsibilities.  I’m sure that’s part of it.  I’ve thought about it recently and I blame the transition from carefree childhood to endless tormenting adulthood thoughts on expectations.

When I was a kid I was happy to get home from school to turn on the TV to watch cartoons or teenage  sitcoms.  I never felt like a loser on Sunday night if I didn’t do anything on the weekend.  What I accomplished, where I went, where I was going, how far I was from the promise land had no place in my mind cause no one else gave a shit.  It wasn’t that difficult to fit in.

Every year that passed brought more expectations to life.  That’s the difference between now and then.  Our expectations.  When we were kids, climbing a mole  hill brought us satisfaction.  As adults we have to climb mountains to get any satisfaction and then climb a bigger mountain after that.

Our expectations usually come from the expectations of the ones around us.  It was ok to just watch TV all day when you were 10 years old.  It was ok to only make minimum wage when you were 18.  It was ok to have no career when you were 25.  Expectations change with age.  Life is all about numbers.  At this age you should be here and at this age you should be there.  It’s fucked up.  If you met a 40 year old who made minimum wage, no family, renting, no nothing, most people be like, ” that person lost.”  That person lost cause their life didn’t match up to the expectations of society.

The typical advice is “don’t give a shit about what everyone else thinks.”  As true as that may be it doesn’t always make it any easier.   Holy shit I’m buzzed from this red wine.  My friend gave me a nice bottle for my birthday and I decided to open it on a special day, Thursday.  If you were 1 out of 7 you would be considered special too.

Why is it that we can’t be happy just watching cartoons all day and throw baseballs back and forth to each other?  It’s mostly our own mind but also just cause we’re human.  We see everyone else doing certain things and we just can’t help but feel like a loser if we don’t match up.  I don’t know what it is.  It’s like a trick our designers put on us.  You must evolve in order to be happy.  Improvement of the human species is the only reason why we’re here it seems.  Life just won’t let you be happy if you do nothing.

We look at life like a guidebook.  With every chapter something new should be happening and if you don’t follow this guidebook you’ll  be stuck reading the same chapter and you won’t be able to discuss chapter 10 cause you’re still on chapter 3 so no one wants to talk to you even if chapter 3 is the best chapter.  But if everyone stayed on chapter 3 it would be all good.

When you were in school it was easy cause you were put in a system.  You go to grade 8 and then to 9.  Once you got out of school your destiny was all on you.  No one would end up in the same stage at the same age.   Your choices either made you or broke you.  I think life would have been much easier for most people if someone chose our destiny for us.  There would be no “what if” or “I should of” or any regret cause you didn’t have a choice to begin with.

I really hate how I open myself up to the blogesphere with these kinds of ideas sometimes.  I hate giving the impression that I’m weak and bitter about life.  I appreciate the hell out of all your comments and thoughts.  If everything was hunky dory I guess I wouldn’t be on here and maybe you wouldn’t be either.  We’re all here to help each other I guess.  Like a community.  Shit, can you tell that I’m buzzed.  I’m going to stop now before I say something I’ll regret in the morning.

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11 comments on “Great Expectations

  1. longtooth says:

    That 40 year old dude? working minimum wage, renting and apparently getting nowhere must be more at peace with the world than the associate lawyer in their flashy European car trying to impress the partners at their law firm to make the grade to partner. I’m not dissing anyone who has and strives for the highest expectations of themselves. But….what I say is that expectations of society that to be considered an integral part of the community you must be thriving materialistically is bull shit. If I wanted to, I could have minted money contracting after the invasion of Iraq. They were paying a 1000$ a day at the tail end of 2004 to baby sit American officials. But I said f**k it and went fishing in Mauritius and ran a sport fishing charter with another pal from my uniform days. I had a blast. I was not stressed, I was not getting shot at, I had no bills, no commitments, no expectations. You’re so right. We place these unnecessary expectations on ourselves and then when we don’t make it, we make ourselves miserable. I say f**k that. If watching cartoons and laying in bed all day works for me, I’ll do it. Screw what the world thinks of me. Far as I’m concerned, I’m as happy as a pig in shit as long as I’m doing what I love. the rat race has never and will never appeal to me.

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  2. mindo240 says:

    “happy as a pig in shit” hahaha. The stuff you say cracks me up a lot of the time. This sounds bad but I crack up alone when I think of how you used to write about how you didn’t have the “balls” to take your own life. F man, it seems like it’s always the people in our world who make our lives better or shittier. You’re a man of something to give up $1000 a day. Shows that you’re cut above the rest. It’s so sad, there’s hardly even any cartoons on Saturday morning anymore. I don’t know what happened.

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  3. longtooth says:

    Yeah bro, so make a plan and surround yourself with people who make you feel better and not shittier!!! Oh I could’ve really done a lot with the 1k $ a day deal but I weighed it against my personal happiness and decided that fishing was much better and the prospects of beer and other diversions made Iraq and getting shot at pale in comparison 😉

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  4. kalyrical says:

    Thursdays are definitely special. I, myself, call it Thorsday, after Thor.

    That’s the thing….outside of school, you have to make your own stepping stones, and everyone judges you as you take your step. But that’s the challenge I guess. I doubt we would like it if our whole lives were clearly mapped out for us, with bright red arrows pointing to what we should be doing next. Meh. Take the good with the bad?

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    • mindo240 says:

      Ya we’re held accountable for the steps we take when it’s our own choice. That’s the scary part. Battling our own mind, wondering if we should have made a left when we made a right. You really just have to do what you think is best for yourself. Knowing what’s best is another fork in the road though. That’s why having a good mentor in life is key. You’re probably right that most of us would not like the clearly mapped life. I don’t even know if I would. I think it would be more peaceful though. Not more fun. It be like a Buddhist Monastery. Take the good with the bad. That’s a good way to live. Acceptance.

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  5. Kristin :) says:

    Hahaha, blogging buzzed is an AWESOME idea 😉 I really like your thoughts on success and expectations. And agree that we need to just be doing things that make us happy!

    For me, its a balance between happiness and growth! I don’t know if I can be entirely happy throwing around a baseball for the rest of my life :p I also don’t know if I can be happy making so much bank and not doing things I enjoy. Balance! 🙂

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    • mindo240 says:

      Blogging while having a buzz does make it a bit different/interesting. It’s like writing with another part of your mind. Trust me, throwing a baseball against the wall is what life’s all about. I’ve been doing it for a year, 2 hours straight everyday and I”m still not sick of it. Ok fine, I’m lying. Humans always need to grow whether it be forward, sideways or even backwards. The money part is really hard to let go I think. We have it stuck in our head more is always better no matter what. We’re always scared having enough might be too little. I’d love to have balance. That’s like harmony and peace. For now though only thing I have to balance is myself when I drink too much.

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  6. lightpuma says:

    I feel like quoting Dr. Seuss: “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

    Society has certain expectations, certain norms, which actually do help us in judging our personal growth in a realistic, justified sense.
    Unfortunately, though, the majority of expectations are based on vanity, materialism, vain pursuits, and a close-minded, selfish, robotic way of life.

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    • mindo240 says:

      So many quotes are so enlightening but sometimes it’s just not possible to live by. Takes time and sometimes there’s not enough time. Sometimes though we get lucky and are fortunate enough to realize the wisdom.

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  7. lightpuma says:

    Oh God I just re-read that and was reminded of the Barbie slogan.

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