Metallica in Vancouver 2012

This is going to be my unprofessional review of the August 25th Metallica show in Vancouver. I went to the second of 2 shows at Rogers Arena on Saturday and ya, ummmmm… it was super kick ass.  Best concert I have ever been to and I’m almost certain the best I will ever see.  It was the concert of all concerts.  If you ever wanted to see a rock concert just for the experience that would have been the one.

I think the reason why it was so freaking awesome was because for whatever reason Metallica decided to film the Vancouver shows for their 3D movie so they had to go all out and my goodness they went all out.

Show was suppose to start at 7pm but it didn’t get going until 8:30.  They wanted everyone seated and that wasn’t going to happen at 7pm cause everyone gets all beer crazy.  $8.50 for a beer!  That’s like an all time high price.

As we went in one of my friends got searched and inside his cigarette pack he had a few joints.  That got thrown out but luckily for them our other friend had one on him.  Not sure why they only searched the one friend.  Must have looked like an asshole or something.

The opening act was some dude who I think was suppose to be some sort of stand up comic or someone to get the crowd all reved up.  I guess he was alright.  It was somewhat entertaining.  He brought a 12 year old on stage for some shits and giggles.  I thought that was kind of fun.  I’m sure the kid pissed his pants with joy.

Once Metallica came on it went nuts of course.  They had a couple very sophisticated cameras on huge metal arms going back and forth around the arena all night.  I flashed my tits but I don’t think it will make it to the movie.  I think my nipples are too small.

The stage was this huge platform and Metallica played all around it for all angles of the arena.  The pyrotechnics were pretty rad and they had giant props from some of the album covers like the blindfolded statue, the toilet with the thingy coming out of it, coffins and a bunch of crosses coming out of the stage.  Trust me, I’m not doing it much justice with my lame description.  If you saw it you’d be in awe.

They played a lot of the favourites like Fuel, One, Enter Sandman, Nothing Else Matters and quite a few more.  But ya the stage work was crazy.  They had a stage crew on doing stuff all the time while the show was going on.  There was so much stuff going on.

I’m somewhat ashamed to say this but I was high on something and ya, it made the show even more spectacular.  I can’t say I regret doing it either though.  The row behind me had some cool people I interacted with all night.  Oh crap, how can I forget to mention this.  2 rows behind me was a chick who decided to take off her top and exposed her tits for quite a decent amount of time.  She was pretty sexy too and I must admit she had a nice pair.  I must sound like a sicko.  I’m just a guy who was high and likes titties.  So sue me.

 

 

 

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“Do you watch?”

 

So I was doing a delivery to a small business the other day and moments after I walked in some female sexual sounds were coming from the computer.  This was our conversation. Sort of.

Me: Hahahahaha

Middle Eastern dude (with accent): Oh shit sorry (frantically trying to close the screen but not successful).

Me:  It’s ok.

Him: I just get so bored sitting here alone.

Me: It’s ok, a lot of guys watch that stuff.

Him: Do you watch?  I like oriental girls.

Me: Oh.  Ya I watch sometimes.

Him: Sorry about that.  It’s just so boring by myself you know.  Sitting here alone.

Me: It’s all good. Don’t worry about it.

This is what happens when guys are bored and all alone.  Their mind starts wandering and sooner or later they will think of sex and once that train starts rolling it becomes a slippery slope.  I think if he had another few minutes he’d be in the back masturbating and then going back to the computer to look at other non porn sites and then eventually going back to porn sites.

 

 

Digital Photography vs Film Photography

There’s probably about 1435564 webpages about this subject.  I’m not here to tell you about the technical advantages and disadvantages.  I’d rather talk about how I feel about it spiritually.  Sounds lame eh?  Dali Lamo.

I will confess, I used to be a somewhat serious amateur photographer.  I was even a photographer’s assistant to a very accomplished photographer.  Back when I started photography in 2004, digital slr’s were not all the rage yet.  They were still pretty expensive and new on the market.  Being a poor son of a bitch and a purist I started with an all manual operation Pentax K1000.  This was the king of all starter cameras.

To be an even greater purist, I used slide film or transparency film.  Using this kind of film meant there was no alteration to the exposure (brightness and darkness) of the pictures you took.  See, when you use the regular print film that most people used, the lab would adjust your photos if they were too dark or too bright.

The combination of a manual camera and slide film meant I was in total control.  There wasn’t a lot of room for error and I had to be very conscious of my settings and environment.  It was like I had to be completely zen.  My brain was always calculating exposures and focusing took a steady hand and a sharp eye.

After a day and night of shooting my hopes and dreams were all hanging on to whether or not my shots were correctly exposed and tack sharp.  The anticipation was my life’s fuel for purpose.  I was a  young man with a camera who marched all through his city establishing a collection of the city with his own eye.

Switching on my light table with loupe in hand I would eagerly sprawl all my newly captured slides on the 2 by 4 plexiglass.  Liking what I would see from a distance I would get a closer look with my glass eye and pray that it was tack sharp.  The colours were so amazingly vibrant I felt like I was tripping on some kind of psychedelic drug.

It felt special or at least it felt special to my ego that I was getting better and probably better than most amateurs.  I knew my stuff and I had enough love and determination for the art form that the money spent on film and the time spent trekking was painless.

This was all taken away when I bought my first Canon dslr when most people would probably have gotten their jollies.
Some how the advances in technology took photography down to a whole new level.  It introduced an entirely different aspect of something that was so organic for decades.

It’s similar to the many ways of life.  Like how it’s not how you got the Mercedes, it’s the fact that you have it.  In this world of ours no one cares about genuineness they only care about the surface.  No one cares that your photographs were a collection of research, sweat, patience, calculations and mindfulness.  It’s all about the final product.

Between digital slr’s and Photoshop there’s not a lot of reason for knowledge and passion.  It can still be there but I doubt it’s the same as when you’re winding the film, adjusting your shutter speed, holding the camera steady all the while knowing you can’t fix where you screw up and every shot is costing you 25 cents.

I guess for the masses digital cameras fill the void but for the purist who is out there to be one with his camera nothing beats a fully manual slr cocked and loaded with 35mm slide film, accompanied with an arsenal of filters with a discriminant retina staring carefully through the sight aiming the barrel towards his target.

 

 

 

Getting high isn’t true happiness?

If you were to ask someone why they get high they’d probably say something like, “cause it makes me happy.”  Detractors to this kind of talk would probably say something like, “but that’s not true happiness.”  Then what is true happiness?

In our society most would say having a wife, kids, friends and doing something in life you enjoy.  Well, I say whatever to that.  If you look at it from another angle all these things can be pretty similar to finding happiness by snorting a a big line of cocaine.  But that happiness doesn’t last, right?  No it doesn’t that’s why you have to do another one.

Are you telling me though, all these people you have in your life you associate with true happiness last forever?  Not always and not really.  Lets say though all these people stick around for the rest of your life.  Are those relationships just as great and genuine as they always were?  Did you have to go through some kind of misery just to keep them around?  Or is it all just like the highs and lows of a drug habit? I bet in order to maintain all those relationships it costs more than a drug habit.  You think your wife and kids are cheaper than a drug habit? They’re probably harder to get rid of too if you wanted to get rid of them.

So instead of trying to find happiness the old fashioned way you may want to look into just getting high instead cause they’re both just as real.  I don’t really believe this. hahahaha..  or do I?

 

 

 

Why the heck are we suppose to find happiness?

I just think it’s a weird statement? Is happiness suppose to be like food?  You have to go out and search for it or you won’t have any?  I feel like it’s a  pretty dirty trick that’s put on us if that’s the case.

Possibly back in the beginning, life was so simple that it was much easier to be happy even if you had to attain it some how.  There wasn’t such a disconnect from society or your community cause no one was separated by houses and miles of concrete.  Your biggest day to day goal in life was to not starve to death.

These days we get thrown into this mess of a life without much good guidance usually and are left to figure this life out on our own quite often.  Our most frequent life coaches are TV, other sources of media and the people around us who are usually just as confused as ourselves.   We don’t ever practice simplicity but instead follow the herd to complicate our lives just cause we can with the illusion that it will make us happier.

I’m sitting here on the couch wondering about this and trying to figure it all out but it’s not easy.  I’m thinking once our basic needs are met shouldn’t we be happy until we’re hungry again?  Or is there this primal human instinct that keeps pushing us to get more once we’re comfortable that puts happiness on the back burner until total security is met?

I find people search for happiness by trying to be the best in their little circle of people.  So is that where happiness is?  Trying to be the alpha?  These primal instincts of ours are always clashing with this unnatural world we live.  Perhaps we live too long to be able to always be happy easily.  Imagine if we were only meant to live until about 20 or 30?  Or if we had no idea how long we would live until?  We’d be living for the day and not for the next 30 years.  We only do all these things cause we know probably that we’re going to live to about 70ish.  If it was 30ish instead, life would be short and sweet.  No 25 year mortgages, 30 years of working, retirement savings plan, no agonizing about what we’re going to do with our lives cause our near future would be death.  I guess part of the problem is that we know too much.  Ignorance is bliss sometimes.

 

 

 

 

Are you happy?

How do most people come up with an answer when they are asked this?  I have a few theories.

A common one is to never show weakness and always say “yes.”  Doesn’t matter if their husband left them for a younger woman or if their wife left them for a big black man last week, they will always say, “yes.”

Probably the most common one is trying to figure out their happiness on paper and then root on the side of happy.  It’s like paper happiness.  You would think of things in your life you like vs the things in your life you don’t like so much and if there is more wins in the happy column then you’re happy.  If the happy column is losing and it’s the 4th quarter you just have to trick yourself and add some ringers to that team.  You always hear people say something like, “ummm ya, overall I’m happy.”  Isn’t it you’re happy or you’re not?  I don’t know, I guess you can be so so happy and so so not so happy.  I think in this kind of situation there’s probably a big aspect of their life they don’t like but they have something that keeps them going like kids or retirement.  Or beer.

To show you I’m not completely cynical, negative or too real I do think there’s a good number of people who are genuinely pretty happy.  They will tell you they’re happy cause that’s just how they usually feel.  I can’t say I’m that way.  I generally have a “whatever’ feeling or when I’m feeling positive I’ll say, “I can’t complain.”  I’m too honest.  That’s why it’s so hard for me to get a date.

I think to be one of those genuinely happy people you really have to be living life the way you want.  You have to have supportive and accepting people around you.  Staying healthy by sleeping, eating and exercise always helps too especially when you get older.  You definitely can’t be concerned with keeping up with the Joneses.  Being able to let go is a big one too.  Not just with past situations but with thoughts and ideas that hold you down.  Being selfish don’t help at all either.  Being able to give just to make someone else happy and to not even expect appreciation shows there’s at least some happiness in you for sure.

So am I happy?  I definitely can’t define myself as happy.  I don’t feel it.  I’m very happy about some things but happiness is not usually my state of mind.  Although, I’m going through something right now that is somewhat depressing me but I don’t feel like talking about it here.  I do remember though just a while back when I had not much and nothing plaguing my mind, I was pretty happy.  I had next to no social life and stayed home a lot but I was feeling very positive.  Looking towards a more spiritual path did wonders for me.  I guess I’m not immune to the bruises from the bumps on the road of life.  I guess like everything else though it will pass.  Like gas.

Farting – the most inexpensive humour

I don’t know what it is but as a human race we have this thing about farting and finding amusement out of it.  When you secretly let one out and all your friends around you die of intoxication you can’t help but laugh and feel proud.

Why is it that when someone smells my fart and gasps and calls me an ahole, I die cracking up?  Something about giving someone else discomfort but not that much discomfort?  Cause if I punched him in the face it wouldn’t be funny but a few seconds of irritation to the nasal passages is ok.

The greater the proximity and strength of the slightly toxic gas is, the more joy one gets.  You’re just so proud that it came from your butthole and touched the lives of your loved ones 10 feet away.  You’re even more proud when someone says, “it still stinks.”

When you get the chance to make it more lethal you take full advantage.  If I feel one brewing in a car I have to close all the windows and I just wait with so much anticipation that I can barely hold my laugh.

Got someone lying beside you under the same blanket?  Let it go and wait a few seconds and then ask them to look under the covers.  The warmth of the environment and concentration of gas in a small area will be overwhelming.

Farting on someone’s head is the greatest insult. I’m not sure why but it is.  My little cousin once sat on my head and farted while I was lying on the couch and has not let forget it since.  That was 2 decades ago.  “Remember that time when I farted on your head?”  To add to the humour he was fat.

Another tactic one does is getting in front of their group of friends when they’re walking somewhere and letting one go and with fingers crossed hopefully someone notices.  Sometimes you’ll get in front and make a loud one and no one will get a chance to smell but just the gesture is good enough for a laugh.

The consecutive farts are pretty amusing too.  “Holy, another one hahahaha and one more.”  Strength in numbers I guess.

Another great moment is when it’s dead silent for a long period of time and someone just lets a squeaker out.  I guess in a school classroom is a good example.  Then everyone laughs.  Why’s it so funny?  Don’t know but it is.

No one really laughs that hard when someone  burps.  It’s just considered rude. But farting. It’s like comedy out of the arse and almost anyone can be a comedian.