The natural things in life that are overlooked

Living in this unnatural world as human beings with natural needs is damn difficult.  We only get a hint of what we need from natural sources.

All the food we eat is either processed, grown with unnatural soil, sprayed with pesticides, fed with an unnatural diet and the list goes on.  Our responsibilities and temptations in life force us to revolve around an unnatural schedule.

Over the past few years I’ve come to realize a few things in life I turned a blind eye to that have greatly enhanced my well being recently.

Sleep.  My whole life I never had a regular sleeping schedule.  I pretty much never got enough sleep.  I was tired at school, work and most other days.  Staying out all night and drinking never helped either.  Now that I do sleep on a regular schedule with a sufficient amount of sleep life is totally different.

I am way less moody.  Everything in life seems brighter.  More energy.  All of this contributes to better decision making.  The people around me probably like me better.  Bottom line is you can’t be at your best if you’re tired and you want to be at your best.

Fresh air.  For most of us we’re probably indoors breathing in stale shitty air all day.  Try stepping outside and consciously realize how much better the air outside is.  I’m sitting inside with the door open right now and there is still no comparison.  When you’re outside you’re immersed with fresh air.  We’re humans.  We’re meant to be outside not stuck indoors.  Oxygen is essential for us to be at our best and the oxygen inside just doesn’t cut it.

When I’m sitting on my couch and feeling like crap, I remedy this by sitting outside.  Sounds lame but it works.  I would of told myself to get lost a few years ago but you’ll definitely feel better being outside.  I used to think there was something wrong with me cause I was feeling fatigued all the time even when I slept decently.  I had no idea it was cause I trapped myself indoors.  I want to get a laptop just so I can be outside to use the computer.

Eating healthy and exercising are other ones but I don’t think anyone needs to be reminded.  Or do they?

If you want to be a happy human being you have to start with being more human.

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Be true to yourself

For a good number of us our lives are often dictated by the environment we’re surrounded by.  We’re really just a bunch of computer chips following our programming and for probably most of us we have at least some viruses installed.

My whole life I’ve been thinking in ways and doing things that were not aligned with my true self.  This is mostly due to my surroundings, fear and lack of wisdom.  I never had any good guidance in my life so it was left up to me to figure out my life.

I was always at least partially trying to be someone else I wasn’t.  Trying to fit in as best I could without totally selling out myself.  I knew deep inside what wasn’t right for me but peer pressure and fear always got the best of me.  This hindered my life.  I was robbing myself of potential happiness and absorbing misery.  I was also giving off negative energy.

It’s really hard to be yourself when everyone around you is so different.  When the whole world is telling you that you should be doing something you have no desire to do.  If you keep following this path though you’re just going to be left on the side of the road.  The ones that belong on that path will keep moving and you’ll just be stranded.  They probably ain’t coming back to get you either.

I still have so many days where I think to myself I should be doing my best to conform to society’s norms but I know for the most part it ain’t for me.  Usually those days I am my weakest.  When you’re feeling weak you look for the easiest way out.

I think one of the biggest reasons why people have such a hard time not following everyone else is the fear of not being accepted.  Feeling humiliated and alone.  Feeling like a failure.  I think for a lot of us there just isn’t enough truly supportive and accepting people around us.  Our own mind is just as big an issue most of the time.

You’ll always have some friends and family that will tell you how you should live your life.  They’ll sometimes do more than tell and lecture you like they know what’s best for you.  They have no place to tell someone the big decisions you need to make.  How can someone just tell someone else to make a big life changing decision?  If it doesn’t work out for you are they going to come save you?

One of the best things you can do in life is to be your own person and the more you’re suffering to be like everyone else the less you are going to be happy with yourself.

Wasting life by watching TV?

I’ve been living without televison for about a year now and on top of that my internet is slow so I can’t really stream or download videos.  What do I do at home then?  Shit, for a while I was just surfing the internet and blogging pretty regularly.  Make dinner, take a shower and get ready for bed.  I slept pretty early so I never had to kill that much time.  Killing time?  Why do we always want to kill something so precious?

I always felt spending your time in front of the tube after work was wasting your time.  I felt I should have been doing something more productive.  I thought if I cut television I would be doing something else.  I think I just got depressed. Hahaha.

My issue was I didn’t have a replacement for television.  I didn’t go out to seek company from anyone, I didn’t take a class.  I pretty much just aimlessly surfed the net.  I think television provided me some kind of connection to people as sad as that sounds.  Or perhaps it kept my mind off my mind.

I still don’t have television but I borrow enough dvd’s from the library to self medicate the whole work week.  I’m not sure if TV is a big waste of time or a luxury we should be thankful for.  I suppose the best thing is to be productive in some other way but I can’t think of anything that motivates me enough to do it.

 

 

What goes on in my head on some work days

Really?  I could be doing this forever?  Or how much longer.  Hmmm, can’t see an end to it.  It would be better if I knew when the end was.  I don’t want to do this for that much longer.

What are my options?  Shit, not too many.  This is probably my best option.  How’d this happen?  I didn’t get an education and I didn’t luck out.  My work ethic and motivation for money was never really there either.

I hated school.  It showed since grade 4.  Never got an “A”, skipped class, hated homework and struggled all through grade school.  Oh ya, dropped out of college 3 times.  How’s that for a sign school ain’t for you?  No passions either or none that I know of anyway.

Wish I could just be devoted to be like everyone else.  I wish I could have brainwashed myself that money was the most important thing.

Man, could be a lot worse though.  Lots of people would be so happy to have my job. Lots would also kill themselves too.  Maybe I’m expecting too much.  Maybe I’m being negative.

Perhaps I need a purpose to work this job.  Buy a new car or get a mortgage?  That would definitely make things different.  Not sure if it would make it better.  Probably not.  What am I thinking?  Attaining material possessions I don’t really care for to make myself do something I don’t really want to do.  That is retarded.

Maybe I need a wife and kid?  Crap, then I’d really be stuck here.  Maybe I just need a girlfriend.  Hmmmm.  That could work.  But she would really have to be on board with my unambitious ways.  Shit, that’s rare these days.  Still got to look though.  That would probably get me by another few years but after that I’d probably start not really wanting to be here again.  Who knows.

Maybe some other opportunity will come along soon.  I think I”m dreaming.  Pretty much but you never know.  I’m all out of ideas.  I think I just have to keep it simple.  I have to keep dreaming though otherwise it’s over.

I need something to come home to.  I can see why people have substance abuse problems.  They got nothing to do after work and nothing to keep them out of trouble.  Plus they probably hate their jobs.  Luckily getting high or drunk everyday isn’t for me.  I guess I can be thankful for that.

Hobby?  I should really just practice guitar.  It’s just so hard to find the motivation.  It’s a lot easier when there’s people to play with.  I think I have to be more social everyday in some way.  Too bad my friends are all “doing their own thing.”  Ya, I think that’s the thing.  Before when we were younger, getting together as much as you can was priority almost.  Now, the attitude is like see you when I see you.  “It’s just the way it is.”

Meet new people.  How?  Join a class?  Don’t know what I would join. Holy shit, there’s got to be people out there feeling the same way.  Craigslist!  I don’t know, I feel way too uncomfortable to go through with that.  Shit, I’m such a pussy.

Why’s it got to be so complicated?  I’m thankful that I’ve started a spiritual path at least.  Helps me out.  Man, I feel like I’d be ok with dying if it had to happen. Nothing to live for?  Maybe.

Well, the work day is almost over.  What am I going to do after work? Same shit, go home and find some kind of entertainment.  Won’t be talking or seeing anyone most likely.  Oh well, remember you have to stay true to yourself.  Positivity breeds positivity.

I can see why people come home and start eating junk food.  I’d love to do that.  But I can’t.  I’m in way too deep with this health journey.  I’d love to come home to potato chips everyday.

Why’s it so damn hard sometimes?  I think it’s all this knowledge we have about the future.  We know we’ll probably live until a certain age.  It’s also these mental predictions we’ve have for the future.  We really don’t know shit though.  Keeping track of age don’t help either.

Is it Friday yet?

Actions say everything

We live in a society of so much fluff, kind words and unfulfilled semi promises.  No one says what they mean or means what they say.  Expectations that are given are never realized.

It’s always so easy to say that you care, that you will call someone or better yet tell them to call you that way you don’t have to do anything but when it comes down to it the actions hardly ever match the words.

Everyone always likes to say that they care just because it seems so nasty to say that you don’t.  You say you care about this person you call your friend but ask yourself in what way do you really care.  Just because you wouldn’t want to see them get hurt or die doesn’t mean you really care.  I don’t want to hear about anyone in this whole entire world to get hurt but it doesn’t put them in my actual caring category.

Often the case is that people only care about their own guilty conscience.  They care when this has to be cleared.  If they don’t know you’re in need then it’s all good but if you call them and ask them for help then they have to care.

Seriously, if you haven’t talked to a person you consider a good friend for several months and they live in the same district as you then you’re not really caring and you have to question the validity of your good friendship.  What would you call your friendship if you spoke even less than that?  It be pretty much nothing so what makes you good friends?

All the other people you care about in your life, how often do you talk to them?  Your mom, sister, wife, dog.  I bet you don’t go that many weeks without speaking to them.  I guess in this society, depending on the label of the relationship, certain ones carry some higher obligation and some less.  We’re always infatuated with labels.

People will think you have a f’d up relationship if you only spoke to your wife every other week but if you only spoke to one of your good friends every other year you would probably get a pass.  You know, life’s been too busy and all.  Or you just don’t really care.

Shit man, in half a year someone can get depressed and kill themselves.  You could have a friend like this.  I suppose you can say, “you didn’t know” but what’s the likelihood anyone in that situation will just call you and tell you.  I guess calling just to see how someone is doing is just too much.

If you really care about someone shouldn’t you make it a habit to call them.  No one is that busy to call anyone they care about.  If you are then you’re just too busy to care.  Follow through with your words and promises because someone might be counting on you.  Broken promises can pave the way to a lifelong path of negativity.  Spread the positivity and the compassion instead and hopefully we can infect the whole world one day.

My place isn’t even 400sq feet!

So I live in a 1 bedroom ground level suite in a fairly new Vancouver Special house.  I’ve always known it to be small but when I figured it was less than 400 square feet it felt really small.  My bedroom and bathroom are normal size but my kitchen and living room are combined so I guess that’s where the smallness comes in to play.

There’s some good news out of this.  I used to think 500 or 550 square feet apartments were too small but it would be just fine for me so this could be in the cards one day if I ever purchase property.  Smaller places are more affordable but this Vancouver BS real estate market doesn’t make it easy.

I pay $600 a month with everything included except cable.  I think about finding another place sometimes but there’s some definite perks living here.

1. I always get a parking spot in front and never have to parallel park.
2. There is no one living beside me in the other suite so it’s quite.
3. It’s less than 10 minutes away from work.
4. I deliver stuff in my area so I get to go home for lunch.
5. It’s pretty close to 2 major supermarkets and 1 smaller one and there’s a handful of big box stores near by.
6. I don’t have any beefs with my landlord.
7. The landlord ain’t moving anywhere so I don’t have to worry about getting kicked out with short notice.
8. No one on this block annoys me or is crazy.

Wow, that’s a lot of reasons.  After some  years of living I’ve realized the grass isn’t always greener somewhere else and that you have to realize what you have already is pretty good and hard to find.

I’ll take you on a tour of my crib.

 

This is the view from my bedroom door

 

 

 

This is the view from the outside door.  Hope you enjoyed your stay here.  See you next time on Small Cribs.

 

Slash in Vancouver 2012

Saturday I was at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre watching……..Slash!  Guitarist from the original Guns n’ Roses for those of you who don’t know.  If you didn’t know that then you’re probably kind of young so you might know him from Guitar Hero 3.  Yes, it was awesome!  I was row 10 in the center.  Wicked seat.  Sound was awesome and Slash was awesomer.  Played a lot of GNR favourites like, It’s So Easy, Sweet Child O’Mine, Paradise City, Mr. Brownstone and I’m on the “Nightrain!”

Todd Kerns who is the bassist sang a couple songs and he can freaking sing.  I’m like one of the biggest Slash fans out there.  I’ve seen him 4 times in Vancouver and 2 times in Washington.  I’m a borderline groupie.  I have his toy figures, all the albums, videos and I’ve dressed up as him on Halloween like 3 times.  I don’t know, I’m just in love with his guitar playing.

After the concert I searched for something to eat but had a lack of choices cause it was getting late.  I reluctantly settled for A & W and bought 2 Mozzas for $6 and got them to pack one to go.  Unfortunately, the second one didn’t go anywhere except down my food tunnel.  I guess I was feeling daring cause it was Saturday night.

Ya man, he ripped it up.  I wonder if any ladies showed their titties.  I would have.