I don’t know about this marriage thing

The stat is about 40% of marriages end in divorce which doesn’t automatically mean 60% of marriages are full of bliss.  There’s got to be a good percentage of that 60% who just aren’t very happy.

Knowing this how can anyone really think their marriage is going to work out for sure.  But you’re convinced that person is right for you and you’ll be together forever even though most who get divorced or stay unhappily married probably felt the same way when they said, “I do.”

What’s the difference between getting married and taking all your money to the casino and betting on red or black?  You got a 50% chance so why not?  Cause that’s stupid betting your life on 1 to 2 odds but it’s not when it comes to marriage for some reason.

I suppose when it comes to the person you choose you do have some control and a better sense of probability but the numbers just don’t lie.  I guess marriage is something you might have to try cause the possibility of being alone is the worst thing possible?

I think the older you are when you get married the better chance your marriage will have longevity.  When you’re in your 20’s there’s just so much chance that one of you is going to change in some way.  You don’t have a very good idea of what you really want even though we always think we know it all.

My opinion on marriage is it’s suppose to be about 2 people who really want to be with each other, be there for each other and make  each other happy.  That should be the foundation.  Being old enough to witness a few marriages in my group of friends, I don’t really see that happening.

What I see is marriage becoming a second job.  A project.  A business.  We’re married to accomplish goals and the picture perfect life kind of thing and we’ll do whatever it takes.  Happiness is secondary and if we can’t make the primary goal work then this marriage thing ain’t going to work very well.

Through my eyes it seems it’s all about what the woman wants but maybe my friends are just a bunch of bitches.  I don’t know.  It seems like a husband’s job is to just keep the wife happy so she shuts the F up.

People always have ulterior motives before they’re even dating.  They’re looking for marriage before they even find someone to date.  They’re thinking about kids before they’re even married.  People are always matching each other up to what they think they want in the future.   I realize you have to think about the future sometimes but I feel by concentrating on the future all the time you’re turning a blind eye to valuable aspects of the present that will shape your future.

We sometimes reject people cause we don’t see our future with them but you can’t see the future.  You have no idea how you will feel in the future even though you’re convinced you know.  You just have to ask yourself do you enjoy yourself with this person today and are you happy now.

With marriage and divorce, how I feel  is, never say never and never say forever.


4 comments on “I don’t know about this marriage thing

  1. mamaji says:

    I agree with what you wrote, as I always seem to do with all your posts. The only reason I can think of marriage is to give at least a reasonable attempt or a promise to each other to provide a relative amount of stability to raise a child…what do you think about that?


    • mindo240 says:

      Ya, I think if you do want a family, marriage might be something you want to do. I just think it’s definitely not what everyone wants it to appear to be and no one should feel that depressed not being married. Another one of those society things I guess. Thanks for always reading.


  2. lightpuma says:

    Marriage is the base of society, one of the biggest things that make/break our life. I understand that it’s tough to read people, though, so it can seem like a daunting task. In the West, it’s anyone’s guess to how even a few people manage to keep a marriage happy; people who are raised with typical Western values have a difficult time committing themselves to one person and growing together with them.

    But the background I come from is one where everyone is mututally interested in marriage. There’s no dating or courtship or trying people out. There’s no spending or passing time with someone temporarily just to get a kick out of it. There’s just marriage, total commitment, and the romance usually begins afterwards. You commit yourself to one person. You accept that you’re not perfect and no one else is perfect, and that perfection actually lies in imperfection. It’s usually a family affair in which adults who know us well will suggest possible people to us.

    It sounds strange, I know. How can you commit yourself to a stranger? It’s a mouthful to explain, but in short, the adults suggesting possible relationships are people who know the kids involved very well. They know both the kids, and can judge whether or not they’ll be compatible. It involves lots of trust, faith, willingness to adapt, and the ability to love without conditions. And it actually works out.

    When you have happy parents in a healthy, peaceful relationship, you have healthy future generations.


    • mindo240 says:

      I can definitely see how an arranged marriage can be more lasting and functional. You are referring to arranged marriages, right? In a typical western marriage you have all the possible drama and expectations before marriage even happens. There’s so much more mentally that needs to me controlled and maintained. Nothing really sacred about it anymore in this part of the globe.


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