Trailer Park Asians

My prediction for the somewhat near future involves the evolution of the western Asian.  Not only have we embraced the slang and fast food but also the laziness of this culture.  There will soon be Asians living in a trailer park near you.

I not so secretly have entertained the notion of living in a trailer.  I don’t see the big deal.  Some of those new trailers aren’t too shabby at all.  It’s closer to the way we’re suppose to be living.  More open and surrounded by members of your community without fences and gates.  Kind of like how the Native Indians lived with teepees.

“My Name is Earl” is one of my favourite shows!  I could totally live like them.  “Trailer Park Boys” is pretty good too.  I can imagine myself sitting outside of my trailer in my lawn chair with other lazy yellow fellows and embracing the simple life.  Only thing that could bother us is the possibility of our septic tanks backing up.

There was this show I watched long time ago and it was talking about how we’re known as the “model minority” cause we’re usually hard working, law abiding, do well in school.  Basically everything a good modern day slave driver would want.  Our passiveness makes us good cog turners as well.

These were traits passed on by our family members when not starving to death in a communist country was the essence of life.  Being poor and lazy is like the ultimate sin.  Punishable by stares of shame and lifelong words of resentment towards you.  The idea is to sacrifice all present happiness for the possible accomplishment of a “good living” cause if you don’t make good money, you’re not going to be happy anyway.

This is still pretty much happening today.  Majority of my Asian friends are still following this path.  Perhaps I’m the only one who’s going to be living in a trailer.  Me, the first one out of my family to ever live in a trailer.  Possibly the first Asian in this city or maybe even country!  Who am I kidding?  I’ll never be that great.  I feel sorry for my mother sometimes.  What you say about my mama?

 

 

 

 

Sex, Drugs and Meat

There are some groups out there that have all these rules against these things when it’s human instinct to give into them.

God said no sex before marriage.  God, why did you give me the involuntary function of boners throughout my teenage years when you forbid me to fulfill it’s purpose.  So I can masturbate?  Oh wait, I’m not suppose to do that either.  What’s God’s excuse for this?  Something like it’s a test to see how obedient you are to God?  That’s usually the reason when there’s no other logical one.  When you have rules like this you know there’s something fishy with religion.  If I’m not allowed to have sex before marriage then I shouldn’t be able to get an erection until I get married.

Drugs.  There’s drugs growing naturally everywhere.  If they weren’t meant to be taken by humans why do we enjoy them?  I’m not talking about the stuff you put up your nose or in your veins but stuff like mushrooms ( i think Joe Rogan has brainwashed me on this one).  They don’t kill people so why not? Oh ya, cause it’s against the law.  Law that man made.

Meat.  The word from vegan types is meat is bad for you and we’re not suppose to eat it.  Hold the bullcrap and just give me the bull.  Maybe we’re not suppose to eat so much of it especially the kind from factory farms but the craving for meat is strong.  Even other primates eat a little bit of meat when they can.

I don’t know man, I say do what you want as long as you’re not hurting anyone else or yourself.  Then again you’re hurting the animal if you’re eating meat.  Hmmmm. We probably only feel that way cause we’re a bunch of wussies now compared to when we were hunter gatherers with not so much sheltering.  “Oh dear lord, cover his eyes and ears.”

 

My Paleo Journey

So there’s this thing call the Paleo Diet which is a type of diet that mimics the way hunter gatherers ate thousands of years ago.  It’s been part of my life since Oct 2010.  Basically it’s no grains, wheat, processed sugar, refined vegetable oils, dairy and anything else that makes you go mmmmm or yummmmm.  So what can you eat?  Fruits, vegetables, lean meat, some nuts and that’s pretty much it.

It’s somewhat well known in the healthy diet community so you can google it if you want to know more specifics.

How did I find out about it?

I have this friend who was doing it and she told me about it.  I told her she was stupid and retarded for just saying no to rice and bread.

Why did I do it?

Cause I’m stupid and retarded. I don’t know.  At that time my lifestyle was getting redundant and a change would have been easily embraced so I figured why not try and eat healthy for once in my life.  Everything about this diet seemed pretty natural for humans so that was encouraging.  I was curious as to what would happen after a lifetime of unhealthy food, lack of sleep, alcohol and drugs.

So how’d it go?

After the first week I got sick for 2 weeks.  I hardly ever get sick.  Once every 3  years maybe.  The sudden drop of calories just killed me.  It’s not a good idea to dive right in.  It’s like being a drug addict and then quitting cold turkey.  Also, I wasn’t educated enough about it.  I wasn’t used to eating many vegetables for most of my life so it didn’t occur to me filling my plate with vegetables to make up for the grains was a must.

What kind of changes occurred?

I lost weight.  I lost my protruding gut that I couldn’t get rid of for 7 years.  I looked hella skinny so it inspired me to start lifting weights again.

I never got stomach aches that followed with terrifying diarrhea again.  This used to happen pretty regularly.  Quite often my stomach had this uneasy feeling where I was kind of scared to eat anything for fear of having to run to the throne.  Doesn’t happen anymore.

Less acne.  I’ve had acne my whole life and sometimes pretty bad.  I’ve taken medication for it before but it was never a lasting solution.  I hardly ever get a breakout now where as before it was like all the time.  Conventional science will tell you there’s no connection between acne and diet but that’s a total myth.  It’s very related.

Other things that changed

This is a very socially depriving lifestyle for most people.  If you’re like me and most people a good majority of your social activities often involve eating out or ingestion of some kind of substances.  There are no restaurants that cater to this diet.  There are some that are better than others but that’s it.

My friends thought I was stupid, retarded, weird and some other stuff.  In actuality they didn’t really think this.  Me eating healthy and doing something good for myself was really just threatening a bit of their existence.  They didn’t want to think what they were doing was so bad and they didn’t want to change so in denial they had to be.  No offense really taken since I thought the same way.  I am the only one out of my group of friends who has gained a gut, lost it and kept it away.

What do I have to say about this after a year and a half?

It’s an inconvenient way of eating.  It’s not a lot of fun.  It’s good for you but not a lot of fun.  It’s definitely a lifestyle not a diet.

It seems impossible to gain weight or get fat.  Even when I eat unhealthy food for a week when I’m on vacation I will just end up losing any weight I gained.

I could never do this diet 100% strict and I don’t think anyone else could either unless their life depended on it.  There’s too much sin out there and everywhere.  I’m on the diet like the classic 80/20 rule.  When I do cheat too much though my body tells me.

In my opinion there are some universal rules for healthy eating like having lots of plant based foods and no processed foods.  I think some meat is good but I know there are people who don’t agree.

Diets are like religions.  There’s no 100% correct one.  Who’s to say for sure what our ancestors ate 10,000 years ago anyway?  Diets can be retarded like religions cause of all the nonsensical and anal rules.

I can’t see myself going back to my old ways.  It feels too good to go back.  I’m eating more like how a human is suppose to rather than the artificial food diet.  Once you convince yourself you’re putting stuff in your body that wasn’t meant for it you will probably not put so much of it in yourself.  I don’t know.  That’s what I think anyway.  A lot of it is in the mind.  I believe in this diet so much that I made a website.

I wonder if marijuana would be considered paleo?  It’s plant based and natural.  I suppose cocaine in it’s purest form might be too.  Sucking on a coca leaf?

 

Weird things we did in high school

I’m not sure how things went in other high schools but in our group we had some odd practices.  Ok maybe some odd and some just plain selfish.

If you’re a guy you probably tend to eat a lot and whatever, especially when you’re young.  You probably didn’t take care of yourself either which makes it a perfect breeding ground for stomach aches which often leads to having to take a number 2.

I’m really not sure if it was just my friends and I but we would not for the life of us take a dump in a public washroom.  Everything about it was just gross.  The smell, 1 ply toilet paper, people pissing all over the seat and not to mention the bad décor.  Plus people would come in the washroom,  look under the door, match the shoes with the face and would tell everyone that you were taking a shit.  I’m not sure how a friend doing what he needs to do naturally in a public washroom would give people such amusement that they would point , laugh and mock but it did.

What’s the alternative though if you’re at school?  You skip class and run to your  friend’s house who dropped out and is always home sleeping in until 2pm.  Poor guy lived 2 blocks from the school and  his parents were never home.  We would throw small rocks or pennies at his window and yell out, “hey, I got to take a shit!”  He must have really had the same mentality cause he always opened the door for us without hesitation.

In high school we were all pretty poor so when anyone had food they would hide it or eat it secretly somewhere.  If you had a bag of chips you would put it in your inside pocket of your jacket and sneak some chips in your mouth when no one was looking.  If they busted you then you would run and take the bag of chips and spit in it so no one would want it no more.

If you were fortunate enough to be able to afford to buy lunch at the caf you would go some area where none of your friends would hang out and eat it like a fat person trying to sneak a bite at a fat farm.  If you were someone who was trying to get in with the cool group your food would be picked at by many hands which would turn your chicken fingers and fries to chicken finger and 2 fries.

Some things still don’t change.  We still don’t like defecating in public washrooms unless if it’s a 4 star hotel.  We will actually drive a few miles to do our business instead of surrendering to sub par public restrooms.  We don’t hide or spit in our chips no more but now the problem is we eat too many cause we’re not so poor no more.  High school, the best free daycare man ever thought of.

A wild cow would not let you suck its nipple

If you agree then you will also agree humans should not be drinking milk from cows.  I’ve wrote about this before but after being with a few friends the other week, I feel compelled to write about it again.

Just like with all aspects of life you have to think naturally.  We get milk from the store which comes from machines or people milking domesticated cows.  If we were in our natural primal habitat we would have to milk  a wild cow ourselves in order to drink their milk.  Do you think this would happen?  Would any wild animal 5 times your size and weight let you do this?  Would you let some stranger just suck your nipple?

There are no other mammals that consume milk after infancy besides humans.   Humans only do this cause someone told us to and everyone else does it.  Would you jump off a bridge if everyone else was doing it.  Of course you would that’s why you drink milk.  Hey, you need to jump off this bridge in order to get enough calcium and vitamin D.  It’s for your own good not because there’s a whole industry behind this and we make money off of it.

You probably know some people who are lactose intolerant or have some kind of dairy sensitivity.  If dairy was so natural and vital for humans shouldn’t this not exist?  You never hear of anyone having a water or vegetable intolerance.  In this crazy world of ours I wouldn’t doubt there’s someone out there who has a vegetable intolerance but I don’t think it’s very common.

I have some sort of allergy or intolerance to milk.  It happened when I was around 23.  I kept getting a stomach ache and the runs every morning but could not figure it out.  My thought process was that it couldn’t be milk cause I’ve been drinking milk my whole life.  For a month this was happening then I realized it was the cereal I was having every morning.  I stopped drinking milk and that was the end of that.

How would you get enough calcium they ask?  How do we even know that the RDA (recommended daily allowance) of calcium is even accurate.  Our nation’s nutrition advice is controlled by industry.  They tell us to eat more servings from the bread and cereals group than the fruits and vegetables group.  That can’t be right.   The numbers  indicate that countries where people have the highest intake of calcium also have the highest rates of osteoporosis.

Cow’s milk is for baby cows.  If we were to drink any kind of milk it should be human milk.  Maybe that’s why men like women with big titties.  In a primitive mind one might equate big breasts with more or better milk.

If cows milk is so obviously not right for us then why did we believe the opposite for many many years of our own existence?  It’s cause we never used our own mind to think and decide for ourselves.  We were brainwashed by the commercials, teachers, parents, everyone.  We see life as it is handed to us and follow the pack.  This whole milk fiasco has to lead us to believe there are other aspects of our beliefs and thoughts that need to be questioned.

 

Music can really tell you something about yourself

A couple years ago I bought the Nirvana Unplugged dvd  but never watched it.   I really liked the cd and pretty much all their other albums.  I put it in the other day but after the first song though it just didn’t do it for me like it used to.  I was thinking why I don’t I enjoy it like I used to and it came to me.  I’m not that torn soul I used to be who gravitated to music,  people and anything else that I felt I could identify with.

In my opinion the Nirvana Unplugged set does not give off the most joyful and positive energy.  It’s great musically but it can be a bit depressing.  I’m sure there’s a bunch of hardcore Nirvana fans out there who would beg to differ but you’re probably still angry from your youth.

I’m not sure what happy people listened to.  I’m thinking.  Still stumped.  Techno?  Wait, I know.  Madonna in the 80’s.  That’s happy right?