Yep, I am now a student of Buddhism 100. Shouldn’t it be 101? Who knows. I guess I’m a liar too cause I said I was never going to go to school again. Guess it’s not the same?
As with any other first day of a new class, I felt it bit awkward. We started the class meditating. The whole idea is to not think of anything since that’s all human beings usually do. We always got something on our mind and usually it’s some kind of worry or anxiousness tormenting us. Let me tell you, meditating is not easy. You’re suppose to concentrate on your breathing and not think about anything else. Everytime your mind wanders you just got to put your mind back into your breathing.
As the childish human being I am, while we were meditating, I couldn’t help thinking about how funny it would be if someone just let out a great big fart. Hahahaha. I almost broke out in laughter just thinking about it. Back to breathing, back to breathing.
This was an intro class so I already knew most of the content she was teaching us cause I’ve been reading stuff off the internet. The majority of the class are people in their 40’s and up. I’m like one of the youngest. The instructor put it pretty simply, “you’re all here cause you didn’t find total satisfaction with life.” Something like that. It was true anyway.
So what other reasons am I there for? I guess from what I know of Buddhism already, it’s very real. It helps you see reality as it is and not the illusion that is pretty much forced in front of your face. Helps you find peace within your mind and just makes your life easier. If someone threw this Buddhism crap or any other spiritual stuff at me when I was like early or mid 20’s I would of told them to get out of my face and called them a loser. Then again, if anyone told me anything other than what I wanted to hear I would of told them to screw off. The ego is a son of a bitch. So strong that Edward Norton had to shoot himself in Fight Club just so Brad Pitt would die. There’s probably another meaning for that scene but that’s what I got out of it.
In life we’re always given the right answers but hardly ever the instructions on how to get there. It’s like all those great and true quotes you always come across that are words to live by but are never made a into a living reality. You have to question things to the root for the answers to really hit home. It’s like how one person will tell another person they are doing such and such so they can make more money. Hardly anyone will ever question that. No one will ever ask someone or themselves, “why do you want more money?” “So I can have a better life for my family, not struggle, not be a loser.” What’s better? What does it mean to not struggle? What’s a loser? If you keep questioning this, a saying like, “money does not bring you happiness” might actually really make sense and you might actually live by it.
I’m not looking to be a full blown Buddhist or anything. I’m just going with the flow and seeing where it takes me. It’s been all positive so far. Positivity breeds positivity even though it’s difficult to see. It just leads to something else. Just over a year ago all I ever did was get drunk, abuse substances, eat crap food, had an erratic sleeping schedule and was consumed with negative thoughts and feelings, wondering what I wanted to do with my life and hating myself for not knowing.
I started eating better which inspired me to go to the gym which led me to a regular sleeping schedule that stopped me from going out late which stopped me from hanging out with people who were mostly negative for me which made me see life differently and seek out positive information where ever I could find it. Anytime I get a craving to go back to my old ways just for a night I think about how it would screw with my new life the next day and the thought ends there.
Well, I’m sure I jabbered enough on this post. I’m going to be badass now and eat some potato chips and wash it down with ginger tea cause ginger is an anti-inflammatory. Inflammation is detrimental to your health and is a probable cause of heart disease, cancer and many other stuffs.