Shhhh, be quiet, it’s Jehovah Witnesses. Probably something most of us did on a weekend morning when we heard a knock on the door. They’re almost like UPS drivers. If you don’t answer the door they’ll leave a note telling you they were there except their note is a Watchtower.
Some time around 2008 though, I decided to let them in my life. For most of my adult life I always wanted to learn more about the bible and since they were doing pro bono and I was unemployed, might as well. So every other weekend (I wasn’t that committed) they would stop by and sit on my front steps and we would read something out of their Jehovah Witness guide book and use their version of the bible, New World Translation, as a reference.
Every salesperson has their sales lines and Jehovah Witnesses have theirs and it’s, “Can you imagine living in a world where everything is perfect and you’re always happy? Wouldn’t you want to live in a place like that?” That’s when you’re suppose to say, “yes” and then they tell you, “if you worship Jehovah, it will happen.” If you want to make it interesting answer, “no.”
Also just like a person in the sales industry they have a strategy. The game plan to get you in and close the deal. Their plan is to slowly integrate Jehovah Witnesses and Jehovah Witness gatherings to be part of your life as much as possible. They will gather for sure every Sunday at a Kingdom Hall (church) and meet 1 or 2 other days of the week for studying. They have outings on a regular basis and hang out together on spare time. I would get invited all the time no matter how often I turned them down. The idea is to basically bombard you with all this Jehovah Witness ammo so that one day you will see their same light.
This is the way I see it, if you’re around a certain environment enough you just might start believing in it. Kidnapping and murder is the way in some cultures and if you grow up in that environment you might believe in it too. Doesn’t make it right though.
What happens when your regular Jehovah Witness can’t make it on the weekend? They’ll give your phone number to another one without asking and you’ll get a call. It probably sounds like I’m speaking negatively towards them and my whole experience but I don’t really feel that way. At least they mostly practice what they preach and they seem to be much more devoted to their religion than most people who say they are religious.
Everytime they say something is true cause it says so in their bible I just feel like telling them that’s not a good case cause that’s the Jehovah Witnesses bible. Hell, I can say the big bad wolf blows houses down cause it says so in this book but doesn’t really mean it happened.
My take on religion is that there can only be 1 absolute correct religion and it probably doesn’t exist in our current world. There might be a religion that is more correct than all the others but that’s probably it. For now, I will believe in bacon. I just had some. No guilt. It was good. It’s only unhealthy if you believe it is or until it kills you. Ignorance is bliss.
Quick Facts on Jehovah Witnesses
-Do not believe in Heaven or Hell
-Believe Jehovah’s followers will be resurrected to the paradise earth and everyone else will just stay dead
-They usually go door to door in pairs. One more knowledgeable and experienced than the other
-Do not celebrate holidays or special occasions
-God’s name is Jehovah
-Their church is called a kingdom hall
-The Watchtower is the most circulated magazine in the world, with an average print run of over 42,000,000 copies per month
-When they get a new prospect they tell everyone and there will always be updates about you
-Mostly though, it’s pretty similar to other Christian religions. Even their bible for the most part