My College Dropout story

So what are you going to do after high school?  Ummm, ummm, ahhhh, I’m going to post secondary.  I don’t know?  Seemed like the right thing to say.  What were my other choices?  I’m going to look for a minimum wage job?  Nothing? Even “I don’t know” didn’t seem allowed.

Well, I did nothing first and then got a minimum wage job.  Best of both worlds?  I only said I was going to post secondary so I didn’t have to deal with people and their horrified responses.  “You’re going to be a loser.”  Wow, I guess everyone gets a crystal ball for a graduation present.

A couple months after leaving high school I bumped into an old classmate and our interaction went a little like this,

Her: Are you going to school?
Me: No
Her: Oh my god, what are you going to do then?
Me: Ummm, ummmm, I don’t know.

Crap, she made it seem like I should just kill myself and do the world a favour.  How dare I not go to school!  See, when people say those kinds of things it’s just to make themselves feel better about their own insecurity.  She ended up being a waitress a few years later.

I guess I bought into the whole loser talk though and enrolled in college taking any course they would let me.  This happened to be Psychology and Business Law.  I just wanted to be able to say I was going to school.  It’s not how it is, it’s how it looks and it looked like I was going to school and on my way to a better life.

After about 3 weeks I started sleeping in and missing class.  Class didn’t start until 4pm.  Hahahaha.  I find that amusing.  I couldn’t make it for a 4pm class.  Shows you how motivated I was.  So I dropped out!  I felt awesome.  Liberated.  I promised myself I wasn’t going to go to school unless I really wanted to do it.

For the next few years I just worked my crap job until I had an awakening one night and realized I was 23 and I was still working my crappy job with no promise of success.  I freaked out.  I decided I had to get an education!

I wanted to do something that would earn me good money and respect.  Ya, respect!  I wanted to be a somebody.  I wanted to be a contender!  What could I study that would almost guarantee me a good paying job?  Think, think.  Accounting!  I’m going to be an accountant.  I already had friends doing it and they made it so why not?  So I enrolled in one accounting class and a couple electives.  By the end of the course I realized I was being foolish again.  What was I thinking?  I’m so not the accounting type.  I let my fears and insecurity get the best of me again.  Damn you society, damn you and damn me also.

However, I didn’t dropout again, I just chose something else.  I knew I had to choose something a bit cooler and not so stiff like.  Hey, I like writing, how about a career in Journalism?  Ya, that sounds like a possibility.  So, I took an English class and by the end of it I realized I did not like academic writing as you may have noticed from my writing technique here on my blog.  It’s kind of boring with all its rules and stuff.  That was it.  I decided again no more school.

Another few years went by and I worked a better paying, boring, dead end job that I quit and spent a year after that just chilling.  I went on an extended vacation to Australia and while I was there realized I was going to come back with no money, no job and an uncertain future.  Hmmm, I guess I went full circle back to high school.  This bothered me.  Again, I figured getting an education was the best way for me to make more money and to be a respected person of society and most of all be happy.  Otherwise I would be a loser.  One who is looked down upon by the majority of his peers and associates and is undesirable to the opposite sex therefore will spend his life in shame, unhappiness and loneliness eating peanut butter and jam sandwiches 3 times a day.  I believed this.  It screwed with my mind.  Except secretly I was hoping I could eat pb and j 3 times a week.

So round 3.  I’m going to be a web developer!  Ya!  A compromise between money and creativity.  Sorta.  It’s still pretty nerdy.  All that programming and stuff.  I actually lasted 4 courses in this one.  Mostly because 3 of those courses were kind of fun.  Less programming.  Round 3 comes to another brutal ending with a knockout.  I go 0-3.  The worlds greatest multiple dropout.  The crowd goes wild.

Where am I now about a decade later?  Working an average job like an average schmuck but for once in my life no longer miserable and insecure about myself and the future.  The lesson I learned here was that it was all an illusion.  I created all the misery and anxiety.  Although, I had a lot of help from media, institutions and people, I gave the illusion power.  After witnessing a whole bunch of my friends going through the paces of what I thought was “the way” and being successful at it, I saw how they were not any happier than they were when they first started this journey.  Actually, many of them are less happy.  Actually, probably all of them are.   The only thing they’re happy about is the feeling of fitting in and that they’re doing the right thing.  They would kill me if they read this.  Or would they thank me? No, they would kill me.

The happiness they thought they would get from the money and accomplishments wasn’t what they thought it would be.  Or it didn’t last.  Or there’s a lot of maintenance.  It’s a life of achieving but never enjoying.  It’s amazing how we believe so deeply that we will be happy with a life we never experienced in a time so far from the present.  Trying to attain happiness externally will never work.  It starts and ends with the mind.   I am going to eat my papaya now.  Have a lovely evening.

Mike Tyson’s Thought on Happiness

“I had all these things in life but none of them fulfilled that big hole I had in my life.. so if I could have all that and it hasn’t fulfilled that hole that I have, it’s not going to do it…so it has to be something else that I’m looking for.”
That was a line from the documentary “Tyson.”  Basically he’s saying that all the fame and fortune never made him happy so there’s obviously a different formula he has to try.  As a society we go through life trying our hardest to attain what he had, thinking it will bring us happiness but it’s just an illusion.  When has attaining any of the goals that were started for the sole purpose of bringing you happiness effective?  When I say happiness I mean lasting and constant happiness.  All the money, people and accomplishments can enrich your life but never bring you the happiness you’re searching for.
If you haven’t watched it yet I highly recommend it.  I wasn’t a fan of Mike Tyson until after I watched this.  It’s very honest and touching.  You can watch the full documentary on YouTube, engage in internet piracy and download a file or ummm… I think there’s another way ummmm..ya those are the only 2 ways I can think of.  Oh wait,  you can rent or buy.  I will buy a copy when I get a Blu-Ray player.
From IMBD –
To gage what effect “Tyson” would have on audiences, James Toback asked the opinions of the film’s opposite demographic: older white women who were disinterested in boxing. He asked that they come to his editing suite and watch the film. If they left after 5 minutes, Toback would give them $100 USD. If they stayed after 5 minutes, they would have to stay for the whole picture – and give Toback extensive feedback on the film. According to Toback, not one woman left after 5 minutes, and many were in tears by the film’s finale.

Why do people want kids?

People should know by now, kids are like puppies.  Once they get older you won’t want them anymore.

Never really thought about it back in my conformist days but I guess when you get older the thought comes into play more.  I don’t have kids but I’m at that age where some of my friends do and a bunch more want to.  In the past, I just thought it was just one of those things you do.  A natural want in life.

Now that I’m more wise and cynical, I think this whole having kids thing is mostly just another BS way of trying to be like everyone else and to prolong the suspicion that your life is a waste.  Having kids is a selfish act between 2 people.  Who is really benefiting by 2 people having kids?  Not the kid that’s for sure.  They’re going to have to suffer with all the BS trials and tribulations of life that you did.  They’ll just be future slaves contributing to the destruction of this earth.  Do you really think they’re gong to make this world a better place when everyone we’ve ever known just consumes and defecates on this planet.

People have kids cause they think it’s going to make them happy, fulfilled, accepted.  It’s another step to the perfect life.  They feel like they’re a somebody.  They have an identity to stand behind.  Yep, that all sounds selfish to me.  One would argue and say it’s what humans are suppose to do just like any other species.  The difference is though, other species don’t really plan and chase the idea of having offspring.  It just happens cause they’re biological instincts make them horny and they don’t know any better.

Having kids now isn’t even the same as it was thousands of years ago.  Back then you would just have kids and you would feed them, hold them and make sure they don’t get their eyes pecked out by chickens.  Now, you have to work harder at the job you like or don’t like but probably don’t like, send them off to school and have them get bullied, put up with their BS about wanting to be like their friends, nagging you for a car or more money, have no time to yourself and the list goes on.

Once in a while though, they’ll do something really great for you so you can trick yourself and say it was all worth it.




Overweight Vegans?

There’s this popular belief that if you’re a vegan or vegetarian that it will turn you into a fatless person who will have a great looking healthy body.  I can tell you out of the 3 that I know, none of them are healthy looking.  One guy is fat, one woman has a double chin and the other woman is borderline anorexic looking.  I have no doubt that there are lots of vegan/vegetarians that have healthy looking bodies but that’s only if they’re dedicated to a “healthy” vegan/vegetarian diet.

With a paleo/primal diet you can actually eat an unhealthy paleo/primal diet and still not be fat.  When I say unhealthy I mean eating the dirtiest, fattest meats even the processed kinds.  What are the main differences of these 2 diets?  One allows you to eat all the meat you want with no starchy carbohydrates or refined sugars and the other allows you no restrictions on carbohydrates and sugar but no meat.

I suppose overweight vegans and vegetarians can say it’s the fat from all the pastries and desserts but I think it’s the excess carbohydrates and refined sugar.  They can also try to blame it on metabolism or genetics but in the end there’s no one to blame but Uncle Ben, Cracker Jack, Dr. Pepper and their own denial.

I was reading a local newspaper today and that is the reason for this post.  There was an article on new vegan restaurants opening around town and it had a picture of the owner and she was ummm, hmmmm, I don’t know what to say.  Not what most in the medical community or the general public would consider to be an ideal body size?  I’m sure she’s nice though.  I have this feeling that people are going to hate me.  I often get this feeling quite often.  Nice blogs finish last?

You can view the article by clicking HERE.


Baked Lays vs Classic Lays Potato Chips

As a health conscious person now, I’m more picky with my junk food.  I don’t know if that even made any sense.  I’ve changed my ways immensely but I still have my vices and potato chips are one of them.  I think it’s the crunchiness and the salt that gets me.

With my regular cooking I like to bake instead of fry because frying just seems so unnatural so I started looking into baked potato chips.  I grabbed a bag of Baked Lays from the store shelf which promotes “lower fat” on the bag and discovered that the potatoes they use aren’t really the real thing.  Well, they are real potatoes but they’re dried.  On top of that they had to add more unnatural ingredients because I guess they had to compensate for the lower fat.

To me this seems like one of those things where you can’t have your cake and eat it too like an economy car that can’t go very fast or marrying a woman with huge boobs only to have them sag to her knees when she gets old or making shitloads of money but not having any time to spend much of it or drinking non-alcoholic beer.

I guess it comes down to if you think the extra fat is worse than the unnatural ingredients they’ve added.  The Baked Lays is also higher in carbohydrates and there’s also differences in other nutritional values.  You can be the judge but only god can judge me.

If you’re going to eat chocolate…

When one’s goal is to lose weight, chocolate is often high on the list as a food to reject.  If you’re still hung up on the fact that eating fat is the number one reason why you get fat then I guess no chocolate for you.  If broccoli was another word for overweight then people would think eating too much broccoli would make you fat.  If you manage to unwash your brain though you can unsinfully enjoy high percentage dark chocolate.  You might not like it as much as milk chocolate but it does the job.

I’ve been eating 85% dark chocolate and there’s enough sweetness to it for gratification.  See, chocolate in its natural state is healthy for you.  There’s no sugar added to it yet.  Sugar, hydrogenated oils and a bunch of other ingredients I can’t pronounce is what makes most chocolate bars crappy for you.

The higher the percentage of cocoa the less sugar it has and too much sugar in your diet is what makes people fatty.  Next time you’re at the supermarket compare the nutritional information of 85% chocolate to regular chocolate and you’ll be blown away.  Like boom!  The amount of fibre, protein and iron is amazing.