Tent life in the backyard has been interesting. You would think the abundance of vehicles driving by would wake me but it never does. Only the dog who comes in and out opens my eyes. Sometimes she’ll paw at my face asking to sneak inside my sleeping bag with me.
After my volunteer gig at the office today I walked over to the shopping mall and bought a cinnamon bun like the First World loser I am. The signage indicating it was 400 calories had no affect on my decision. Only a fool would think a cinnamon bun would contain only 200 calories.
During my 5 KM walk home I decided I was going to drink alcohol and binge watch Game of Thrones for the rest of the day. Sounds like a waste of a day/life but when you have nothing or no one to live or die for then nothing really matters.
The cook at the nearby pub yelled for my attention while he was on his smoke break. He quit the job but recently came back. “I hate cooking as a job,” he said. At 33 years old the pressures of life seem to be weighing on him. “I can’t keep doing this. In 30 years I’ll be broke still.” He goes on to tell me he’s looking for a job that will set him up with a pension. He’s stuck in the post-war economic boom mentallity of the 20th century. In your 20s there’s so much hope you can live off of but often it’s just an act of deferring reality.
I had what he think he wants. Evolution is a slow process. Life wants you to keep pushing regardless of your position in life. If you stay stagnant you get bored or become fearful of the thought that your life ends here even though you have 30 more years to go. You either play with risk or accept your disappointing existence.